Yoga Hosers

Kevin Smith's Canadian Minstrel Show.

Kevin Smith delivers another baffling brainfart that merely cements the fact that he is truly past it. The warning signs were obvious: casting his daughter and Depp's daughter in a Tusk spin off hardly inspired confidence, and it's unlikely to appeal to a large percentage of his dwindling fanbase or its target demographic (teenage girls). It could have worked as a millenial update of Clerks with girls, but it jumps the shark early with mini butt travelling Nazis and never recovers.

Rides the line between horror and comedy and ends up failing miserably at both. Probably the worst attempt from Smith I've ever seen, Yoga Hosers is a vessel for a bad cast to perform a pretty terrible script. It's inventive, I'll give it that, but even if it was going for the weird, bad, but lovable film, it definitely missed the lovable part. Half Killer Klowns, half Scott Pilgrim, all horrible, Yoga Hosers is a miss on Smith's part.

Kevin Smith's attempt at a Nickelodeon channel midnight movie for teen girls. The result is a surprisingly cheap looking "Canadian" centric comedy/horror with dialogue for teen girls obviously written by a 40-year-old-man that doesn't do yoga.

Sigh! Garman as the defrosted Nazi-cle is the only thing that garners any laughs. Johnny Depp occasionally confuses Quebec for South Africa. Overly indulgent and barely funny, Yoga Hosers is Smith at his worst.

YOGA HOSERS is amateur hour defined, an incomprehensible mess made more painful to watch by the palpable embarrassment and/or desperation of many of the people involved. It's a "hangout" movie that feels more like a hostage situation, ping-ponging between limp horror satire and lazy vulgarian comedy. Meant as a (sort of) valentine to Canada, it comes off more like an insult, as well as perhaps the most pointless example of cultural appropriation in recent memory.

This was barely watchable. Kevin Smith's absolute worst. Should be the feature in a future episode of How Did This Get Made --but to put it in the parlance of the movie: it was basic.

It's not funny at all. Smith clearly care anymore. When it's a movie made for mostly himself, his family, and his friends, why bother releasing it to the general public at all? The two leads are fine for exactly what the film wants them to be. I didn't like Depp the last time he played this character, and he's no better here. The plot was just dumb and boring. The fetishising of Canada was off-putting, too. There's not that much to criticise, because they didn't try hard enough.

I've seen much worse, including Tusk. Another half-baked underdeveloped idea by Kevin Smith. Fairly charismatic characters except for Depp's Guy LaPointe ruining everything again, but at least he doesn't get a long monologue. I liked the Scott Pilgrim style overlays. Fav scene: yoga positions like "Pretentious Frog" and "Dissatisfied customer."

Borderline unwatchable, amateurish mess is at least not a "lazy" film in that Smith doesn't appear to be on auto-pilot, making the movie that I think he wanted to make, but it doesn't make it any easier to digest; mix of stoner comedy and fantasy elements (and a strange homage to and send-up of Canadian stereotypes) never works or gains any momentum. The younger Smith and Depp are adequate heroines, but the terminally strange appearances from Depp Sr. torpedo the already uncertain structure.

I didn't hate "Tusk" (for some reason) but holy shit, this is too much. The girls actually have some good chemistry and a Clerks-y movie about the two of them fucking around might have been charming, but of course Smith puts them in the dumbest god damn pile of unfunny, tragically over-the-top nonsense I've ever seen in my life. Smith is only good at grounded character dramedies and I don't know why he keeps wasting everyone's time with this shit. And shouldn't Depp have something better to do?!

Ralph Harman was the highlight of the film.

Two young convenience store clerks (Lily-Rose Depp and Harley Quinn Smith) fight off fuckboys and Nazi bratwurst alike during the course of a particularly trying evening. Tusk managed to work because it grounded its quirks in a solid horror premise; this has no grounding, and the quirkiness grows overbearing. There are a few laughs to be had and the girls aren't bad actresses (Smith is eerily sexualized by her father's camera, however), but more often than not it's devoid of fun or meaning.

Funny movie and Canadians are Awesome.

As a Kevin Smith fan I just don't know how he made such an awful film. His sense of humor has really seemed to dissipate over the years. I only give 10, because I actually enjoy the girls somewhat, but the material they are given is just atrocious.

A gender flipped Clerks? Not so much. This is a dumb fun horror comedy. Lily and Harley were pretty good as the leads. Playing teenage girls isn't exactly a stretch for two teenage girls but still they gave a natural and animated performance. Depp's character fits in more nicely in this than in Tusk. As a spoof fan of horror I can dig the Full Moon-esque tiny monsters, Nazi theme, satanists, mad scientist and monster/guy-in-a-suit aspects of this more than your regular Smith/comedy fans would.

I actually enjoy Harley and Lily-Rose together; the chemistry is obvious, and they do have some funny moments. In fact, I'd say without them this is significantly worse. Guy isn't as intolerable this time around because he doesn't come along and RUIN a decent horror flick. But this ultimately just isn't that humorous and comes across as try-hard. I almost want to give it a pass, but it can't quite get there. Also, we get it: Canada. Pucky Charms isn't funny.

Here again, Kevin Smith centers a film on his talentless daughter and Johnny Depp's equally talentless daughter. This film tries hard to be trendy but falls on its face with the opening scene.

It’s pretty terrible. But it is unusual. If there was less scatology, I’d possibly love it, in all its stupid campy glory.

Kevin Smith clearly just gave up trying to please the big studios and crowds and just went back to making movies he wants to make plus to give his and Depp's daughters career a jumpstart. Too bad what he set out to make is so poor. The scenes in which it's just the girls acting like (annoying) millennial clerks work best. Everything else is very idiotic.

???????????????????Jack??????????Lily-Rose??????

This is the reason i don't trust Kevin Smith anymore.

This film is terrible. I am a big Kevin Smith fan but this one did not turn out well. Some of the jokes are tired and repeated numerous times. The film is neither scary or funny. The actors do a good job but they can not do much with this material. Definitely skip watching this one.

It's so fucking weird I don't entirely hate it. Haley Joel Osmont as a 30's Canadian Nazi? I'll role with it even if it is just a multi-million dollar equivalent of Smith and Depp being the dads who spend way too much money on promoting their kids high school garage band cause the world needs to experience their kids talent.

Run if you are a hater.

bad movie

Can't even remember when I turned off a movie in advance the last time but this one ended after 15 minutes and by that Haley Joel Osment hadn't even been on screen yet so the chances of it lifting off was less than zero. What a shit show...

underrated. I don't understand why it is so disliked.

Kevin...buddy...WTF?