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You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger
A little romance, some sex, some treachery, and apart from that, a few laughs. The lives of a group of people, whose passions, ambitions and anxieties force them all into assorted troubles that run the gamut from ludicrous to dangerous. (facebook.com)
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You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger

2010
Romance
1h 38m
Your probable score
Avg Percentile 34.95% from 1083 total ratings

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(1083)
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Rated 01 Dec 2010
40
27th
Correct me if i'm wrong, but isn't this the same guy who made Manhattan and Annie Hall? What is this shit?
Rated 22 Nov 2010
3
24th
Yet another cosy, but simultaneously wholly unsatisfying modern farce from Allen, who's once again retreading previously explored territory about men and women, age (young versus old), succes and - ultimately - about the transient, fragile nature of all human relationships. Pinto is a basic pin-up, Hopkins a cliché as the old man with bleached teeth and a (delayed) mid-life crisis, Watts waivers uinterestingly. It's only Brolin that's really interesting. And even then only rarely.
Rated 03 Jul 2016
40
32nd
Great cast. The best part is the multiple ironic endings in the last 10 minutes, but it was hardly good. I enjoyed seeing Naomi Watts & Josh Brolin. Anthony Hopkins was somewhat unimpressive. Lucy Punch was a hoot. Freida Pinto was cute. Antonio Banderas was OK. The multiple stories were only somewhat interesting. A few good lines, but mostly lost opportunities to be something better. Too much narration. Scattered, shallow, pessimistic & rather flat. Woody Allen lays another egg with this one.
Rated 24 Oct 2010
62
15th
As with almost all of his films I had a smile on my face through most of it. So being a fan, I like the cozy Woody Allen touch that all of his films are wallowed in. And it does make all of his films worth a watch. But damn, I hope he'll soon become a little more ambitious. Apparently, I too, can grow tired of the flat personality stereotypes and thematical stagnation of his recent films. I mean, when did he last create a fully fleshed character as complex as Isaac Davis, Alvy Singer or Hannah?
Rated 01 Dec 2010
25
8th
One of the least interesting films I've seen for a long time. Doesn't want to go anywhere, doesn't want to turn a corner. Does it even want to be? Lame, pessimistic point, and no counterweighing laughs. Don't blame the actors - they just chose to be a part of the wrong Woody Allen-movie. I'm gutted. And don't misunderstand me here: W. A. is probably my favorite director still alive (if not Haneke).
Rated 31 Jan 2011
38
21st
Woody keeps doing whatever works, and for him it is farce of meaninglessness of everything, especially relationships. Here he recruits dream cast, but doesn't create a single interesting character. Waste of time.
Rated 13 Mar 2011
73
45th
Okay, so maybe Woody Allen has gone back to this well a few too many times. It's definitely wearing thin and screams "comfort zone". But fuck it, I enjoyed this. I especially liked how Allen isn't afraid to leave a host of dangling loose ends. The jokes aren't great, but they're amusing enough. The situations, even if they are rather familiar, are engaging and the performances are pretty good. It's all a bit forgettable and far from his best work, but it's a solid entry in his filmography.
Rated 04 Dec 2010
4
35th
Woody has hit cruise control and isn't doing anything new or even as interesting as he used to. The cast is solid but the characters they are playing are boring and shrill and annoying and who the hell cares about any of them? Also, that horrible narrator from VCB is back and is as terrible as ever. I still believe Woody's gonna make one more movie that's gonna blow everyone away, but this ain't it.
Rated 02 Dec 2010
35
8th
Probably the most disappointing movie of the year. Woody makes all the wrong decisions in one of his worst pictures!
Rated 23 Oct 2010
3
28th
It's better than last year's Whatever Works but hardly a film that anyone's going to remember. It's harmless, occasionally even funny and charming, with solid if unremarkable work from the primary cast (Naomi Watts is probably the best), but there's a paucity of memorable scenes and lines. Frieda Pinto's character is a horrendously-written walking fantasy on legs, one of the worst movie characters of the year (through Allen's fault, not Pinto's).
Rated 08 Dec 2011
55
36th
It seems whatever idea Woody had for this film was only partially formed. It mostly just feels like a sloppy throw-together patched from his previous work.
Rated 04 Nov 2013
3
24th
Mostly ineffectual and contrived in all the wrong ways. Contrived might be an odd criticism for a guy like Woody since that kind of goes without saying, but in this case the plot points about infidelity leave a sour taste in your mouth, and lack Woody's usual humor and insight. The only side-story I enjoyed was the aging mother's story of new (yet old) love, which was sweet and charming. in spite of her delusions. To Rome With Love does what this film does much better.
Rated 12 Dec 2010
90
79th
Woody Allen's new movie comes along with an awesome cast and a simple story about life. A story about interpersonal relationchips, the monotony of a marital and a lot of wrong decisions. Allen did nothing new with his new movie, but what he did is really entertaining. I always like this special atmosphere between each character that Allen creates in his movies.
Rated 05 Aug 2011
30
7th
The worst Woody Allen movie I've ever seen. Any theme he's tackled before with grace is shown here in dilapidated and shallow form. There's a waste of talent from cast to crew; everyone's doing their best but they're just trapped inside this awful, aimless, and boring story that requires an annoying narrator to inform you how meaningless it is. The great British aristocratic satire found in Allen's other London films is gone, with a serious vacancy of tone remaining. Little of value to see here.
Rated 31 Dec 2011
30
17th
You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger is not a good film. It doesn't work as a comedy, and it doesn't work as a drama. It isn't funny, and it doesn't make you care about any of the characters, as they're all dark, ungrateful and unwilling to help each other despite nothing prohibiting them from doing so. It's a film that has nothing to say about anything important, and won't entertain either. It has a good cast, but because it's an ensemble, it doesn't use them as well as it should have.
Rated 05 Dec 2010
40
13th
What is it with Allen always making a great movie every 2nd or 3rd year but needs to fill the gaps with stinkers? I don't get it. The next movie is probably going to be great.
Rated 25 Sep 2010
60
50th
Great cast! Some good writing. And that's it... The quality of the experience will be proportional to your affinity for Woody Allen films. Here, he reintroduces the voice-of-god narrator, this time kind of superfluously. While the film is definitely a step up from 'Whatever Works' (it's much less heavyhanded), the two are actually quite similar, in that they're both lightheartedly retreading old ground. It's passable then but next time I want another 'Match Point' or 'Vicky Cristina Barcelona'.
Rated 15 Dec 2013
25
19th
You will see fragments of stories, lazy-patched with horrible narration, and characters less interesting than a blond bimbo. *Preview*: #13#, story, creator Allen/1, Naomi.W/10, (cast), R2.
Rated 05 Apr 2012
77
62nd
all of the componant stories are interesting, but nothing more than attention holders. it feels like allen spreads himself too thin with too many characters, and it's true that he's not covering any new ground here, but he could at least have done the same old a little bit better.
Rated 08 Jan 2011
72
32nd
Woody Allen making a Woody Allen movie. It's enjoyable and nice if you like his style, but nothing particularly remarkable.
Rated 06 May 2016
78
59th
Demorei tanto para ver esse filme pelas críticas nem tão lisongeiras, mas como sempre elas eram errôneas, o lance de todo mundo se foder menos os "crédulos" é verdadeiramente um achado.
Rated 10 Nov 2012
85
73rd
Explores a number of disfunctional interpersonal relationships, some awkward some tragic, some odd. In each case the experienced reality is different than the perceived illusion. But in one case it actually works. The cast is solid and the characters are well developed - especially Ms Punch's - ha!
Rated 28 Mar 2011
40
4th
Exceptionally cast and completely unexceptional in all other regards.
Rated 20 Mar 2011
80
33rd
Enjoyable Allen film.
Rated 26 Oct 2010
1
17th
The cast does a great job and saves some poorer-than-average Allen material. Brolins storyline is probably the best, even if his love interest is the type of woman that exists solely in the head of male writers.
Rated 13 Aug 2011
33
2nd
Allen at his most trite and dull. We've been down this road a thousand times already: love, family dysfunction, infidelity, opera; it doesn't get any more exciting just because Anthony Hopkins gets punched in the face. What makes this even worse, worse enough to delve into bad territory, is how monumentally unsatisfying it is. Woody usually wraps his films up nicely, but this one felt like it had cut out before any climax.
Rated 16 Mar 2016
81
11th
love seeing a different part for Anthony Hopkins. Other than that, I guess not
Rated 31 May 2011
25
30th
"Allen has here an interesting idea-that placebos may 'work better' than medicine-to noodle over and ultimately reject; it's just a shame he doesn't entertain us more in the process."
Rated 30 Jan 2011
62
34th
Not the best movie of Woody Allen.
Rated 24 Feb 2011
4
55th
Enjoyable in a kind of pointless and ineffectual manner. I should be disappointed, but at least it washed out the bad taste Whatever Works left in my mouth from the last year.
Rated 02 Dec 2011
62
31st
Just not enough going on in this movie to keep you interested. And I think Josh Brolin either needs a gun or a moustache to make it work.
Rated 08 Oct 2011
64
45th
Well.. This film left me thinking about certain facts and that's always a good thing. On the other hand, it's certainly not Woody's best work either. Normally I love his characters, but now they seem somewhat superficial, flat characters. I love the end though. He kept the most beautiful image for the end: The two only people in this film who come out happier than when started; The two only people who believe in superficial bullsh*t.. Makes you think..
Rated 07 Nov 2010
50
23rd
Allen's pessimism is no longer pleasant, his sense of humour is almost entirely absent and the "message" is superficial. This is not boring but it is not satisfying either. It is not very conventional (just a bit) but still it's not unusual. Allen is repeating himself as always but this time he fails to do it right. The cast is extraordinary (even Banderas was good) but this won't do. This movie rarely offers good laughs and doesn't excite.
Rated 04 Jun 2014
44
19th
Clearly an uninspired film by Woody. It works mostly as an episodic comedy filled with all the wins and losses involved in relationships, but with twisting moments given by the illusions embraced by every character -- Naomi thinks Antonio could love her, but he's having an affair with her protégé instead, Josh stole the novel of the friend who's in coma, not the one that passed away ... Empathetic characters, but the arrangement of stories seems not solid enough to produce a good picture.
Rated 21 Jun 2011
60
28th
Classic neo-woody
Rated 15 Oct 2011
15
21st
"The fact that moldy fatalism feels truer to Allen's worldview than, say, the faux-sensualism of Vicky Cristina Barcelona doesn't exactly ameliorate the sourness of this ensemble dramedy." - Fernando F. Croce
Rated 04 Jan 2011
80
45th
I wish I loved Woody Allen. He's the kind of director cool people love. But I keep finding myself unmoved by his films. They are entertaining and the characters well written, but the films still end up being kind of indifferent or trivial and therefore quickly forgotten. I will have to stick by 'liking' Woody Allen.
Rated 24 Nov 2013
50
33rd
Mildly interesting musings on mundane problems, but so insistingly anticlimactic it hurts. This may be Allen trying to prove a point, but it doesn't make for a particularly engaging watch.
Rated 23 Dec 2011
55
27th
Lose the narrator and I'd give it 65. In Vicky Christina it was a mere annoyance, but this one was tiring.
Rated 20 Oct 2010
1
0th
" You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger continues the selfishness and lack of faith that in Manhattan once seemed to observe moral decay, and Hannah and Her Sisters became a symptom of. There's been no real progress since..."
Rated 16 Apr 2011
40
26th
Another Woody Allen production that doesn't have a beginning or an end, sticks a few vaguely connected story threads together and never attempts to unsettle its audience in any way. Hard to rank this one: If you have to sit through it you'll appreciate the acting, the direction, and the subject matter is harmless enough... On the other hand you'll take home absolutely nothing from the experience except to wonder, "What was the point?" I'd never recommend it.
Rated 22 Oct 2013
53
13th
53.00.
Rated 15 Dec 2010
63
23rd
Yet another `cute little` Woody Allen movie that makes you miss more the past works of the genius...
Rated 23 Apr 2013
40
8th
A re-run of Interiors, more colourful but not as funny. As Interiors. INTERIORS IS NOT A COMEDY.
Rated 28 Apr 2011
40
24th
boring and unfunny
Rated 07 Dec 2010
54
12th
The film touches quite a number of relationships and tries mainly to present the disappointment they might bring. Funny how the cast also manages to disappoint! Also, why does Woody not do what he's good at(say writing), and lets other people direct his stuff, his direction is really getting more disappointing by every score he makes. But despite all the things that disappointed me, I almost enjoyed it. He mocks some things quite successfully if nothing else
Rated 10 Aug 2011
28
6th
Jesus, whatever he once had is clearly now gone. Vicky Cristina Barcelona was obviously a glorious fluke from a man whose ability has clearly gone to shit. I find it offensive that people think of this film as another typical entry in his filmography. It wasn't funny, it wasn't serviceable, and I can't imagine that the screenplay was anything but a first draft. He clearly either needs a legit muse like Mia Farrow, or a strong collaborator like Marshall Brickman working with him.
Rated 10 Mar 2013
55
37th
not allen's best. british backround just doesn't fit into allen's universe. brolin gives a very forgettable experience. not every setting is paris or barcelona, it seems.
Rated 17 Sep 2013
55
21st
Woody seems to be going through the motions with this, most of the jokes feel tired, the basic themes are recycled from his older (better) films and the overall feel is that of redundancy and stagnation. And yet, the film is consistently engaging and pleasant and, may I even say, poignant in some of its observations. Sure, those main topics (relationships, age, existential crisis) aren't handled as gracefully as in, say, "Husbands and Wives", but they're definitely portrayed in an adequate way.
Rated 19 Sep 2013
45
38th
uninspired
Rated 17 Feb 2011
60
10th
I wish we found out what the hell happened to Josh Brolin and his issue, because that was the most interesting part of this movie.
Rated 27 Jul 2014
73
22nd
Woody's directorial assurance saves a lot of the scenes, but the writing--neither the situations nor the one-liners--are compelling enough to grab my attention. I did, however, find the Josh Brolin plot somewhat interesting.
Rated 24 Jul 2011
40
12th
The definition of washed-up.
Rated 25 Jun 2012
30
7th
I'd like to think of it this way: I'm just going to have to endure lesser Woody Allen films like this dud knowing that every 3-4 years he churns out a gem that gives me a reason why I have to.
Rated 01 Dec 2010
49
18th
The only thing that saves this predictible Woody Allen movie from being a complete waste of time is the abrupt ending. Which tells a lot about the film.
Rated 08 Apr 2012
50
8th
What really makes me sad is a weak Allen movie :(
Rated 09 Jan 2011
85
79th
Woody still has it.
Rated 13 Dec 2011
83
86th
This is yet another highly enjoyable Woody Allen film. Allen has assembled another excellent ensemble cast. Josh Brolin, Naomi Watts and Anthony Hopkins are all very good in the film. This is a must see film for any fan of Allen's.
Rated 21 Jan 2012
80
57th
Hopkins gives a surprisingly subtle performance in this slice of (serendipitous) life dramedy that respectfully explores alternative spirituality. Brolin has a great face for film.
Rated 10 Apr 2011
84
73rd
Allen is in excellent form as writer here, concocting an intriguing array of characters to jump through an increasingly more tightly wound series of romantic loops. Hopkins and Punch are standouts in the cast as mis-matched May-December couple, but Jones' dotty mother and Brolin's "Woody" characterisation are also great. Occasionally there are too many balls in the air at once; unresolved story threads are mildly frustrating, but very good overall.
Rated 12 Jun 2013
79
54th
Bom, mas menos Woody Allen do que se esperaria.
Rated 02 Jun 2011
80
68th
People are really too harsh when discussing the European stage of Allen's career. Sure, his top tier films come from the late 70s and the 80s. But his European period stands strongly up there with his second tier films, along with, I would argue, The Purple Rose of Cairo and Play It Again, Sam. Sure, Allen produces duds. He always has. But time washes those away. What we're going to be left with after it all is 3 or 4 high quality films from this decade, which is a pretty good record.
Rated 05 Jun 2011
100
51st
really good woody allen movie 10 out of 10
Rated 31 May 2018
54
13th
54.00
Rated 26 Jul 2022
2
4th
Probably one of Woody Allen's most forgotten movies, released to zero fanfare and seemingly never discussed in any context, memetic or otherwise. The reason for this is simple: it is fucking awful. Consists of 100 plotlines which die on arrival, especially the execrable romance between Josh Brolin and Freida Pinto. Zak Orth pops up as an annoying narrator every so often to further ruin the movie. Noticeable dearth of any jokes, and there's no resolution or climax. Longest 90 minutes ever? Maybe.
Rated 02 Dec 2019
55
13th
A subpar Allen with an miscast Josh Brolin and Anthony Hopkins and a Noami Watts that's totally calling it in. It's all very cliched and doesn't even finish most storylines properly.
Rated 01 Jul 2020
40
13th
Not the right kind of silly for me. I always like Watts and Brolin is good in this (he does frustrated writer very well), but Freida Pinto is insufferable as the love interest.

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