http://www.criticker.com/profile/spleen is my latest fave. A sampling:
Iceman (1984) -
"Think of it as "The Thing" meets "ET" meets "Quest For Fire". Meanwhile I'll be over here going through your stuff."
Taken 2 (2012) -
"Philosophical question: Bryan Mills and John McClane are on a plane. Which franchise wins? Answer: whoever punches Famke Janssen in the face first."
Electrocuting an Elephant (1903) -
"Honestly, haven't seen it but I have tickets on reserve for the sequel "Anal Raping Thomas Edison"."
The Fifth Element (1997) -
"If Michael Bay made this, it would've cost 2 billion dollars, had more shots of Milla Jovavich (working on cars, tossing hair, running, etc all in slow motion), Bruce Willis would wear a thong for comedic value and Chris Tucker would've been a robot. Thank you, Luc Besson. Thank you."
Predator (1987) -
"So macho the dvd case had a five o'clock shadow and smelled of cigars."
The Sweetest Thing (2002) -
"If I were stuck on a deserted island with nothing but this movie, a dvd player and a tv, I'd bludgeon myself unconscious with the case to keep from watching it again."
Well done, sir.
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- Mon Oct 29, 2012 3:27 am
- Forum: General Discussion
- Topic: Favorite Mini-Reviews
- Replies: 244
- Views: 245146