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Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure: An unfunny, gimmicky comedy that's boring and a little annoying. Certainly no where near as "excellent" as its title advertises. And if you thought THAT was low-hanging fruit, the film's elementary-level history gags and pedestrian fish-out-of-water elements will certainly fail to interest you. Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure is a film that's not so much horrible, as it is simply unremarkable.

Bill and Ted are two flunking high school seniors who have their education riding on an oral report about history. But divine beings in the future know that Bill and Ted play an important role later on, and thus, must pass their report in order for that future to exist. So, they send a time machine for Bill and Ted to travel in and use to explore and learn about history.

Even at just 90 minutes, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure feels long. Part of this is all the padding. Many contrived situations occur in order to keep Bill and Ted from completing their report, effectively expanding the run-time, and even more effectively increasing the film's tedium.

The comedy feels completely lifeless, never eliciting the laughs one would hope, nor ever reaching a state of painful ineptitude. It's completely uninteresting from start-to-finish, and a total snooze. But not even a snooze worth getting mad about, because for all of its problems, it's not necessarily unwatchable. Just unfunny.

The cast does what the script requires of them. The surfer/rocker/stoner voices of Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter are immediately annoying, though George Carlin in a small role as Rufus elevates the material much more than it deserves. The historical figures that Bill and Ted pick up along their travels are portrayed by actors like Terry Carmilleri, Dan Shor, Tony Steedman and Rod Loomis, all of which perform as well as they likely could considering the lackluster script.

Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure is an uninspired, fairly predictable, and sterile bore. It's cinematic oat-meal; bland, flavorless, and passes right through you. At worst it's annoying, at best it's forgettable. But the fact that it's a comedy with no laughs (and perhaps two chuckles) makes it a lot worse than its innocuous demeanor suggests. It's a waste of an hour-and-a-half that sadly cannot be regained by time travel.

Score: 3/10