#1 - afx237vi - 35 stars
Too bad he is no longer active here or on any other website under this username. More on why he likely is the best reviewer on Criticker in a comparison with another review below.
Best review [I have seen so far]:
The Hustler
90 - "A wonderfully crafted tale about lonely, flawed people operating in a world where even if you win, you're still a loser. Ostensibly a film about pool, this is given extra depth by the interplay between the characters, each of which is working their own angles, not entirely sure of whether they are the hustler or the hustled. Much bleaker than I expected it to be, but that's fine by me."
#2 - djross - 28 stars
Authoritative reviewer/rater and has caused me to change my rating for several films. One of the very few (within my close-ranged TCI's) who too possesses the ability to especially smell the following types of bullshit: 'feigned naturalism' in e.g. Before Sunrise or Lost in Translation and 'stupid shit' (V for Vendetta).
#3 - lumpnboy - 15 stars
The most inaccessible reviewer, but mostly because he wants to jam as much information as possible into his mini-reviews (I can relate). Similarly to djross lumpnboy has received quite a bit of stars from me because of the informative nature (especially in the case djross) of their reviews.
#4 - Suture Self - 13 stars
One of the most versatile reviewers I have come across: capable of both wit and providing insight. Will likely receive a lot more stars from me in the future.
Best reviews:
La Strada
90 - "This movie will appeal to absurdists who feel life is a cruel joke. La Strada is often playful and funny, yet at its core, there's no progress or greater meaning to be had, just death. The fact that Gelsomina is not the first sister to join Zampano, but the 2nd, is the story's punchline, and a simple but clever way of creating a cycle that says "this goes on and on and on".
Stroszek
85 - "It's sad to think plenty of people live the lives of Bruno and Eva everyday; aloof, disconnected and confused as to why our world isn't working out for them."
#5 - PeaceAnarchy - 12 stars
More often than not his reviews consist of personal thoughts (lots of "I's") which more often than not manage to strike a chord.
Best review:
Streetwise
86 - "It really struck me just how young these kids are. Even when they act tough you can see just how much is an act and how vulnerable they are, how clearly our society is a failure if we can't take care of these kids. For many of them you can sense their chances of success slowly dwindling away and it's just heartbreaking. From a filmmaking perspective the access the director got is impressive, not just an honest glimpse into a subculture but a glimpse a bit further into their individual realities."
#6 - Magb - 12 stars
Very good but not great. Compare for example the review of Badlands of Magb:
Badlands is one of those films where the main characters do really horrible things, but because the film is so well made and the characters are otherwise so likeable, it's impossible not to feel at least a bit sympathetic toward them. Martin Sheen is just perfect and Sissy Spacek is very good too. Malick's expert direction shines through every shot and scene. And the film is a damn sight better than that goddamn Natural Born Killers.
With that of afx237vi:
A depiction of a life without reason or consequence, only existence. Youthful aimlessness leads to a life of corruption and a loss of innocence, yet both characters remain gleefully oblivious to this fact. For them there is no "why?". The lightness of tone and the use of upbeat music doesn't quite blot out the sense of sadness that permeates this film.
The reason why I like afx237vi (and often those of SutureSelf) so much is that in his reviews he assumes or mirrors the tone of the film he is reviewing. He is able to write long sentences and perhaps more importantly use short ones in a way that makes rhythmical sense.
#7 - Pickpocket - 11 stars
The most consistently funny reviewer out there. Mostly I disagree with some parts of his reviews and there are some misses, but then one line makes me laugh my ass off and I have to give credit (e.g. in his mini-review for Dr. Phil: 'The best part of his show is the ending, where he walks off the stage with skeletor aka his wife.') . Too bad the new moderating rules somewhat contradict with what seems to be most popular here. I hope he can at least continue to use profanity if it lacks hostile intent.
#8 - lisa- - 10 stars
Somewhat similar to Pickpocket in that she unabashedly throws her opinion out into the interwebs, which is much appreciated in both cases.
Best review:
Stroszek
65 - "some old dude, a prostitute and a kind-hearted but socially inept character are brutally bullied by some assholes in berlin, so decide to head off to wisconsin for a better life. certainly about the american dream, but probably best generalised to life in general: things aren't necessarily greener on the other side. bizarre film as most of herzog's stuff is."
9-10-11 Nathan S, Hellboy and Ocelot (all three got 8 stars from me)
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A top 8 with explanations might have been a bit too much, so by all means dont feel pressured to go as far as I did (That is, if anyone wants to post at all).