The Witcher 3 (2015)
Posted: Thu Apr 25, 2019 7:22 am
So depressing realising this game was shit. It got hyped out its asshole and I've been looking for a good open world RPG ever since finishing the good Bethesda ones. I really thought this would be it cause it has an open world and side quests with dialogue choices. But no, it's horseshit. When did gameplay get replaced by story and everyone lapped it up as a good thing? When did tight, responsive controls get replaced with tedious animations and people praised it? Endless cutscenes that you can only skip line by line, meaningless dialogue choices which don't effect the story in the slightest, these are all things that textbooks and game design courses say not to do, and here they are, in a AAA game that every is claiming is the greatest game in history? What the crap is happening? I was really looking forward to Cyberpunk, but if this is the best CDPR can produce I may not bother, although that game still looks really good. And right now everyone is badmouthing Bethesda for throwing in some Minecraft-a-like features, ignoring the amazing rest of Fallout 4. My only hope now is the new Obsidion game. If there's a million Souls clones, why can't we have a million Elder Scrolls clones, why hasn't that game created a new genre? Instead we have to wait 10 years for a Skyrim sequel.
The Witcher 3 has bullshit difficulty spikes, tedious boring travel between quests, running back and forth between towns. The open world is pointless since the sidequests are pointless, they could've just had a menu to select the next mission instead of a boring horseride. It rarely ever felt like I was in control. Either I was sitting through a cutscene or on a horse travelling to the next mission, or else I was following a boring linear mission with no choice. Just make a fucking movie instead of making people think we're actually getting a game. Even the combat was basically just mindless clicking, except it was luck whether or not you actually hit the enemy with them constantly dodging attacks like fucking mindreaders and then oneshotting you if you didn't manage to jump away in time. And even the dodging sent you about three miles away from them so you had to run for twenty minutes to get back to them. Who fucking designed this and how can people think it's good? And everything has some stupid fucking animation to it so you can't just turn around, you have some dumb animation of Geralt spinning around so his fucking hair can waft in the wind. Fuck off, this is what we get with faster computers and better technology, worse controls and dumb fucking animations of wafting hair. Just so dickheads who want to fuck their computer can say 'oh fuck me 60fps, 4K, look at the grass textures', meanwhile we have to wait twenty minutes for the horse to decide he wants to actually do what you said, and we have to sit through a bullshit fucking visual novel and watch actual games get relegated to indie titles or stay classics from 20 years ago while stupid dickheads play fucking Journey or Ys. God I'm so pissed off. I'm going to go play Shovel Knight now, I hope to fuck I won't discover it's actually a fucking walking simulator.
The Witcher 3 has bullshit difficulty spikes, tedious boring travel between quests, running back and forth between towns. The open world is pointless since the sidequests are pointless, they could've just had a menu to select the next mission instead of a boring horseride. It rarely ever felt like I was in control. Either I was sitting through a cutscene or on a horse travelling to the next mission, or else I was following a boring linear mission with no choice. Just make a fucking movie instead of making people think we're actually getting a game. Even the combat was basically just mindless clicking, except it was luck whether or not you actually hit the enemy with them constantly dodging attacks like fucking mindreaders and then oneshotting you if you didn't manage to jump away in time. And even the dodging sent you about three miles away from them so you had to run for twenty minutes to get back to them. Who fucking designed this and how can people think it's good? And everything has some stupid fucking animation to it so you can't just turn around, you have some dumb animation of Geralt spinning around so his fucking hair can waft in the wind. Fuck off, this is what we get with faster computers and better technology, worse controls and dumb fucking animations of wafting hair. Just so dickheads who want to fuck their computer can say 'oh fuck me 60fps, 4K, look at the grass textures', meanwhile we have to wait twenty minutes for the horse to decide he wants to actually do what you said, and we have to sit through a bullshit fucking visual novel and watch actual games get relegated to indie titles or stay classics from 20 years ago while stupid dickheads play fucking Journey or Ys. God I'm so pissed off. I'm going to go play Shovel Knight now, I hope to fuck I won't discover it's actually a fucking walking simulator.