The Ten Worst Films of 2016

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mpowell
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The Ten Worst Films of 2016

Post by mpowell »

Here they are: the ten worst films in what was one of the worst years in recent memory. Go to hell, 2016, and take these ten stinkers with you!

We've also compiled the top twenty films of the year... which helps remind us that not everything about 2016 sucked.

10. Nine Lives - 2.0571 Average Tier

"With this many writers, talented actors and directors, and the fact the producers names weren't shown in the credits, I THINK this movie was a tax shelter or money laundering scheme. Suicide, alcoholism, and adultery make this movie relatable and a laugh a minute to the kids. Kevin Spacey sounds like he's holding back a yawn every time he performs. Makr Consuelos is also the bad guy for wanting to make the company go public. So yea...this movie is chalk filled with humors and plot." - FoxyRussian



9. The Forest - 2.0217 Average Tier

"You know what's scarier than a Suicide Forest? Not much really. What an utter failure. Natalie Dormer has a nice long future of looking at things with her eyes wide open." - Paxton



8. Martyrs - 2.0000 Average Tier

"Martyrs (2015) starts curiously enough, then quickly turns into a mess killing all interest in it." - PUNQ



7. Cell - 1.9189 Average Tier

"A collection of bad acting (from an unforutunately solid cast), poor directorial choices, and the dark side of Stephen King tropes, Cell is on the wrong side of King adaptations. It feels almost like a parody of the zombie genre, while trying to add new twists that don't work on a sci-fi or horror level. It's actually horrible, and not just a bad King flick. Skip it." - Groovy_Souls



6. Urge - 1.9130 Average Tier

"Mostly dull for the first third,unlikeable characters. Needed more Brosnan and needed him to go "Full-Pacino", rather than "Half-Pacino"" - dunetails



5. Norm of the North - 1.9091 Average Tier

"It's not hyperbole to say that Norm of the North is the worst theatrically released animated movie of all time. It has no redeemable factors, nothing that comes even remotely close to being worthwhile, and it's not even laughably bad. It has animation that wouldn't pass muster on a mid-level CGI TV show, its voice actors sound bored, or perhaps obligated, it completely lacks in the joke and story department, and it can't even get its environmental message delivered in a meaningful way." - Matthew Parkinson (The Escapist)



4. The Darkness - 1.8000 Average Tier

"Wow, this was really bad. Demigod Indian ghosts that follow a family home from the Grand Canyon have the ability to make animals appear and cause soap opera / very-special-episode levels of personal drama. The mandatory exorcism (twist: it's a Hispanic exorcism) is completely unneccessary both dramatically and within the shoddy logic of the plot. Aspires to be Poltergeist, but can't even measure up to the piece of shit remake. Kevin Bacon better bury this failure in The Darkness." - mwgerb



3. Precious Cargo - 1.7391 Average Tier

"Bruce Willis must be embarrassed to have agreed to work on this. It was impossible to enjoy the action or unbelievably bad dialog. Ridiculous, unconvincing plot. I had to quit this at about half way in, I just couldn't take any more of the asinine dialog. Whatever might have been good about this is totally overshadowed by the bad. It's very sad to see how awful it turned out with all the money, resources & talent that went into making this pathetic mess. Max Adams is a really crappy director." - eCitizen



2. Fifty Shades of Black - 1.6905 Average Tier

"It is amazing how disastrous Fifty Shades of Black is. I hated the original, going so far as to name it as my worst film of 2015. The characters and acting are awful. The plot is lazy. The attempts at humor are disgusting, stupid, and juvenile. It takes everything that was bad about the original and makes it worse. Absolutely nothing about it works as a film, especially a spoof film. It is a massive failure on all creative fronts." - mg7film



1. Mother's Day - 1.6863 Average Tier

"It tries to string together multiple narratives and weave a tale about how mothers are the most important people in our lives. However it fails to really make a point because it felt way too forced and had no real sense of realism because they were all good looking people living in fancy houses with good jobs. I dont need a preachy film for me to get all goopy and emotional about how much my mom has done for me in my life." - kgbelliveau

xanderbisc
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Re: The Ten Worst Films of 2016

Post by xanderbisc »

Not seen any of those, so I guess that's a good thing.

My worst 10 for the year are:

Tier 3
Absolutely Fabulous (2016)
Alice Through the Looking Glass (2016)
Dirty Grandpa (2016)
London Has Fallen (2016)
Ride Along 2 (2016)

Tier 2
Allegiant (2016)

Tier 1
Ben-Hur (2016)
Independence Day: Resurgence (2016)
The Legend of Tarzan (2016)
Zoolander 2 (2016)

BillyShears
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Re: The Ten Worst Films of 2016

Post by BillyShears »

Could've made this a top 30 easy D: My cystoscopy was more fun than 2016's movies :(

MacSwell
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Re: The Ten Worst Films of 2016

Post by MacSwell »

I thought Nine Lives looked like one of the worst films in history, surprised it's only at #10.

BillyShears wrote:Could've made this a top 30 easy D: My cystoscopy was more fun than 2016's movies :(


:lol:

dardan
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Re: The Ten Worst Films of 2016

Post by dardan »

"With this many writers, talented actors and directors, and the fact the producers names weren't shown in the credits, I THINK this movie was a tax shelter or money laundering scheme. Suicide, alcoholism, and adultery make this movie relatable and a laugh a minute to the kids. Kevin Spacey sounds like he's holding back a yawn every time he performs. Makr Consuelos is also the bad guy for wanting to make the company go public. So yea...this movie is chalk filled with humors and plot." - FoxyRussian

"You know what's scarier than a Suicide Forest? Not much really. What an utter failure. Natalie Dormer has a nice long future of looking at things with her eyes wide open." - Paxton

The worst movies have the best reviews.

Also, without question, The Neon Demon (2016) is the worst thing to have hit the cinemas this year. All the movies in the list simply were failed (I hope--though, probably not) cashgrabs, which is bad, and it results in a bad rating, but when we talk 'bad' we are talking about morals too. And the hypocricy or irony, and the likely delusions stemming from conceited head-up-in-arseness and artistic bankrupty that formed the basis for this castle of crap to be constructed upon are operative in a far more profound dimension of deplorableness. It is one thing to present a turd and sell it as if it were able to provide you with joy. It is another thing to be a protester against the prevalence and stinky smell of turd, seeking alliances and building loyalty with those blessed with olfactory senses senstive enough to discern most crap from the non-crap, and then, having deluded yourself it isn't because you are awesome, sell that community a uniquely construed turd that looks and feels like a piece of gold, but which in actuality still merely is a piece of turd.

djross
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Re: The Ten Worst Films of 2016

Post by djross »

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Last edited by djross on Thu Jul 20, 2023 9:12 am, edited 1 time in total.

MacSwell
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Re: The Ten Worst Films of 2016

Post by MacSwell »

Zoolander 2 is my worst rated film of 2016. Painfully awful.

dardan
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Re: The Ten Worst Films of 2016

Post by dardan »

djross wrote:An entirely defensible position. For me, it was surpassed in badness by two others, firstly by Star Trek Beyond, whose witless, empty awfulness.

But there's an honesty there. You knew exactly what you got yourself into, as did the writers and director going into it.

djross wrote:extends uninterrupted from titles to credits.

Ok, admittedly, this is quite impressive.

djross wrote:But the worst movie of the year was one about which I had high hopes, on the grounds that the director's previous effort (a TV series) was in my view a masterpiece: Slack Bay, however, turned out to be the very epitome of the worst kind of French comedy, to the point of being unwatchable. Avoid at all costs.

So, made curious by these wordings on Slack Bay, I ventured to the films page where I hoped to find a mini-review of you providing greater elucidation as to the precise workings of this piece of crap.

All I found was a concise 'Atrocious'. I laughed quite a bit.

Having resorted to watching the trailer, I have indeed come to a mostly similar position, though, still, it's much, much less unwatchable than the fraud that is The Neon Demon. What might be of interest to you, given your position on both that type of humor and commercial Holocaust movies, is knowing that Life is Beautiful (1997) probably is the worst movie you have the possibility of ever watching, to the extent that, if you ever plan to watch it, it is my recommendation to increase scoring on whatever 0's you have such the relative difference between that film and the current 0's will adequately demonstrate your disliking of the film. I mean, check out the trailer (dont--there's a serious possibility you'll suffer an instantaneous death) to this holocaust film: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAYEQP8gx3w <<<=== it gives me great pleasure to be able to imagine the profound puzzlement you'll inevitably have viewing that.

djross
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Re: The Ten Worst Films of 2016

Post by djross »

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djross
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Re: The Ten Worst Films of 2016

Post by djross »

djross wrote:and, as an aside, it is a question I have myself been accused of not taking seriously, which I reject, but that's another story


In relation to this, in case anyone is interested, I found a couple of links describing this episode from a dozen years ago:


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