Welcome to Criticker: Home of insanely accurate recommendations!

A womanizer (Schweiger) is forced to do community service at a local kindergarten, where he locks horns with a teacher (Tschirner). (imdb)

Merlin the wizard and his wife Zurella time-travel to the 20th century to set up a special magic shop. Though many people believe he is indeed "the" Merlin the Magician, reporter Jonathan Cooper remains skeptical and so tries to prove the old sorcerer a fake. Trouble comes to the shop when a toy monkey with potent powers is stolen. (MST3k Wiki)

A family staying in a secluded mobile home park for the night are visited by three masked psychopaths, to test their every limit.

Having packed up her possessions to move in with her lover, Laure is more unsettled than she appears. Needing to get out and have a change of scenery, she jumps in her car to go to have dinner with friends--only to become stuck in a terrible traffic jam. Laure completely forgot about the mass transit strike that has thrown the city into chaos. But Laure feels good in her car, the only place she has for herself right now... (imdb)

A tilted figure, consisting largely of right angles at the beginning, grows by accretion, with the addition of short straight lines and curves which sprout from the existing design. The figure vanishes and the process begins again with a new pattern, each cycle lasting one or two seconds. The complete figures are drawn in a vaguely Art Deco style and could be said to resemble any number of things, an ear, a harp, panpipes, a grand piano with trombones, and so on, only highly stylized. (imdb)

Russ Duritz is a wealthy L.A. image consultant, but as he nears 40, he's cynical, dogless, chickless, estranged from his father, and he has no memories of his childhood. One night he surprises an intruder, who turns out to be a kid, almost 8 years old. There's something oddly familiar about the chubby lad, whose name is Rusty. The boy's identity sparks a journey into Russ's past that the two of them take - to find the key moment that has defined who Russ is... (imdb)

Bonds of loyalty are put to the test when a hitman's son witnesses what his father does for a living. (imdb)

Legend tells of three magic diamonds that, if in the wrong hands, can be united to create a force powerful enough to freeze the sun. When the evil sorcerer Zeebad (Stewart) escapes from his ancient prison, he vows to exact revenge by deep-freezing the earth forever. Determined to save the world, a fellowship of four unlikely heroes band together to foil Zeebad's villainous plot. Led by the candy-loving mutt Doogal (Tay), friends Dylan (Fallon), Brian (Macy) and Ermintrude (Goldberg) all embark on an epic adventure to save the world. (Weinstein Company)

A group of U.S. soldiers sneaks across enemy lines to get their hands on a secret stash of Nazi treasure. (imdb)

In San Francisco, a group of people discover the human race is being replaced one by one, with clones devoid of emotion. (imdb)