Welcome to Criticker: Home of insanely accurate recommendations!

The time: two thousand years ago. The place: the violent dawn of the Qin dynasty. The story: the soon-to-be First Emperor of China is on the brink of conquering a war-torn land. Three opponents are determined to assassinate him and one loyal subject stands in their way. (Miramax)

The US Army is under pressure from the desperate relatives of white prisoners of the Comanches to secure their rescue. A cynical and corrupt marshal, Guthrie McCabe, is persuaded by an army lieutenant to assist in the negotiations with the Comanches. However, just two captives are released; and their reintegration into white society proves highly problematic. (imdb)

Set on Earth in the year 2065, an invasion threatens to extinguish the remains of mankind and quite possibly every living creature on the planet. The fate of all life on Earth relies on one woman's determination. But time is running out. (Columbia Tristar)

In this series, Edmund Blackadder is a leading courtier at the court of a ditsy Queen Elizabeth I. This suave and clever Edmund is again assisted by his now moronic but still grungy servant Baldrick and a moronic Lord Percy. His chief rival is the fawning Lord Melchert. (imdb)

This is a city brimming with the struggling and the unemployed; aren't their lives a bit like the infinite, tiny particles flying through the air? Zeynep is already trying hard to make ends meet when she gets fired from her job at a textile mill. The Particle follows her as she searches for a job. In the movie, the prison-like feeling of the opening sequence never recedes; we relentlessly feel the dead ends of the city, a dystopia.

A hilarious look at what really happens in a barnyard when the farmer's back is turned. (Paramount)

A wandering soldier finds a robot head in the post-apocalyptic desert. He brings it back to his girlfriend for use in one of her sculptures... (imdb)

The Creature from the Black Lagoon is back! This time he's captured by scientists and transported to an aquarium in south Florida... (imdb)

It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye. (imdb)

A woman provokes sensual awakenings in a group of adolescent boys. (imdb)