Welcome to Criticker: Home of insanely accurate recommendations!

Venerable newscaster Norm Archer (Len Cariou) reports the latest news in politics, health, culture and entertainment -- such as an automotive recall of decapitation-inducing "neckbelts" and a study finding that "depression hits losers hardest." The compilation of bogus news stories, celebrity profiles and movie trailers comes courtesy of the ace satirists at The Onion. The film's most intriguing credit? Steven Seagal as Cock Puncher. (Netflix.com)

A picture-perfect family is shattered when the work of a serial killer hits too close to home. Dylan McDermott stars in this chilling portrait of all-American evil. (imdb)

Jake and Kristy Briggs are newlyweds. Being young, they are perhaps a bit unprepared for the full reality... (imdb)

Daffy Duck pitches to J.L. Warner a starring role with himself in a ridiculously over the top swashbuckler film.

Hayat, her father and bedridden grandfather live in a riverside shack near the dangerously dark but breathtakingly beautiful waters of the Bosphorus. Hayat's father owns a small boat that secures the family's survival trough a miscellany of not always lawful ventures. Beyond the motion and romance of the water, Hayat's life is harsh and unrelenting. But Hayat has an instinct for survival. (altinportakal.tursak.org.tr)

An unknown future. A boy confesses to the murder of another in an all-boy juvenile detention facility. More an exercise in style than storytelling, the story follows two detectives trying to uncover the case. Homosexual tension and explosive violence drives the story which delivers some weird and fascinating visuals. (imdb)

An adaptation of the classic tale of a wealthy aristocrat with a blue beard.

A makeshift prison is set up in a research lab, complete with cells, bars and surveillance cameras. For two weeks 20 male participants are hired to play prisoners and guards...

A young couple, Renee and Pierre, take one night a room at the Hotel du Nord, in Paris, near the canal Saint-Martin. They want to die together, but after having shooted at Renee, Pierre lacks of courage and ran away. Another customer, Monsieur Edmond, a procurer, rescues her. When Renee goes out of the hospital, she is hired as a waitress at the hotel. Monsieur Edmond falls in love with her, but Renee is still thinking of Pierre ... (imdb)

A squad of National Guards on an isolated weekend exercise in the Louisiana swamp must fight for their lives when they anger local Cajuns by stealing their canoes. Without live ammunition and in a strange country, their experience begins to mirror the Vietnam experience. (imdb)