Welcome to Criticker: Home of insanely accurate recommendations!

An awkward and fat woman lives in the suburbs with her husband. She becomes a a monster who wants to revenge that her husband was seduced by an authoress who writes trash fiction. (imdb)

In 1988, a teenage girl's life is thrown into chaos when her mother disappears. (imdb)

After losing her unborn child, Madeline Matheson insists on carrying the baby to term. Following the delivery, the child miraculously returns to life with an appetite for human blood. Madeline is faced with a mother's ultimate decision. (imdb)

A platoon of eagle and vultures attack the residence of a small town. Many people died. It's not known what caused the flying menace to attack. Two people managed to fight back, but will they survive Birdemic? "The Birds" star Tippi Hedren is in all three of his films, but she only shot footage for the first one. He reuses the footage he shot with her in LA in his other two movies and puts her name right up on the poster. (imdb, mediayenta.blogspot.com)

Writer Nick Gardenia is kidnapped from his California cliffhouse and forced to rob a bank. Now a fugitive, he seeks help from his ex, Glenda. She is a public defender remarried to a prosecutor, and we get a houseful of hijinks. (imdb)

Warren Schmidt (Nicholson) has arrived at several of life's crossroads all at the same time. With no job, no wife, and no family, he is desperate to find something meaningful in his thoroughly unimpressive life. He sets out on a journey of self-discovery, exploring his roots across Nebraska in a 35-foot motor home. (New Line Productions)

A data courier, carrying a data package literally inside his head too large to hold for long, must deliver it before he dies from it. (imdb)

Two big city detectives (Pitt, Freeman) find themselves on the trail of a vicious serial killer that chooses his victims according to the seven deadly sins. (New Line Cinema)

When pregnant, 12-year-old Tui tries to kill herself in a freezing New Zealand lake, Detective Robin Griffin has plenty of questions for the girl. But when Tui suddenly disappears, Griffin finds herself knee-deep in small-town secrets.

Berke Landers (Foster) has done the impossible and landed the babe of everyone's high school dreams, Allison (Sagemiller). Just as he is really beginning to enjoy his newfound popularity -- he gets unexpectedly dissed for the hot new guy in school. Crushed, he is willing do just about anything to win Allison back. (Miramax)