Welcome to Criticker: Home of insanely accurate recommendations!

In the first half of the film, a Japanese woman shows us her apartment in Tokyo and muses on the amount of bananas produced worldwide. The woman then tells us that her friend next door is sad. In the second half, a blonde woman (Jordan Ladd) sits on a sofa and cries. Then a brunette woman (Cerina Vincent) enters and says cruel things to her, before threatening to tell her the truth. The film ends with a fade to black... (Wikipedia.org)

The story of former UVF member Alistair Little. Twenty-five years after Little killed Joe Griffen's brother, the media arrange an auspicious meeting between the two. (imdb)

In 16th-century Prague, a Jewish rabbi creates a giant creature from clay, called the Golem, and using sorcery, brings the creature to life in order to protect the Jews of Prague from persecution. (imdb)

Venerable newscaster Norm Archer (Len Cariou) reports the latest news in politics, health, culture and entertainment -- such as an automotive recall of decapitation-inducing "neckbelts" and a study finding that "depression hits losers hardest." The compilation of bogus news stories, celebrity profiles and movie trailers comes courtesy of the ace satirists at The Onion. The film's most intriguing credit? Steven Seagal as Cock Puncher. (Netflix.com)

The comic strip detective finds his life vastly complicated when Breathless Mahoney makes advances towards him while he is trying to battle Big Boy Caprice's united mob. (imdb)

A biography of the Armenian troubadour Sayat Nova (King of Song) reveals the poet's life more through his poetry than a conventional narration of important events in Sayat Nova's life. We see the poet grow up, fall in love, enter a monastery and die, but these incidents are depicted in the context of what are images from Sergei Parajanov's imagination and Sayat Nova's poems, poems that are seen and rarely heard. Sofiko Chiaureli plays 6 roles, both male and female, and Sergei Parajanov writes, directs, edits, choreographs, works on costumes, design and decor and virtually every aspect of this revolutionary work void of any dialog or camera movement.

Through outrageous, never-before-seen footage, witness the making of the Jackass crew's last go at wild stunts. (Netflix)

Based on Robert Penn Warren's 1946 Pulitzer Prize-winning novel, All the King's Men tells the story of an idealist's rise to power in the world of Louisiana politics and the corruption that leads to his ultimate downfall. (Sony Pictures)

A woman kidnaps puppies to kill them for their fur, but various animals then gang up against her and get their revenge in slapstick fashion. (imdb)

A patient in a mental hospital claims to be an extraterrestial. Could he be right? (imdb)