Welcome to Criticker: Home of insanely accurate recommendations!

Sabine vows to give up married lovers, and is determined to find a good husband. Her best friend Clarisse introduces her to her cousin Edmond, a busy lawyer from Paris. Sabine pursues Edmond, with the encouragement of Clarisse, but Edmond does not seem very interested. (imdb)

The year is 1975 and little Joe Dirt is dumpster diving at a Grand Canyon tourist stop. After gorging himself on half-eaten snacks, he emerges from the garbage bin, only to find that his parents have left him. Now grown up and working as a janitor, Joe's got a mullet hairdo, acid-washed jeans, and a dream -- to find the parents that he lost, or lost him. (Columbia Tristar)

Matt, a young glaciologist, soars across the vast, silent, icebound immensities of the South Pole as he recalls his love affair with Lisa. They meet at a mobbed rock concert in a vast music hall -- London's Brixton Academy. They are in bed at night's end. Together, over a period of several months, they pursue a mutual sexual passion whose inevitable stages (familiar to anyone who's ever been in love) unfold in counterpoint to the nine live-concert songs of the story's title. (Tartan Films)

Keeping up with the Joneses (Demi Moore, David Duchovny, Amber Heard and Ben Hollingsworth) is next to impossible, considering they're a family with good looks, fancy cars, a sprawling estate -- and a shocking secret the neighbors would never guess. Gary Cole, Glenne Headly and Lauren Hutton co-star in this smart drama about the dark side of a material world from writer-director Derrick Borte.

Coming from a police family, Tom Hardy ends up fighting his uncle after the murder of his father. Tom believes the killer is another cop, and goes on the record with his allegations. Demoted then to river duty, the killer taunts Tom. (imdb)

In a continuation of Full House, D.J. Fuller is a mother of three young boys and is a recent widow. D.J.'s sister Stephanie, her best friend Kimmy and Kimmy's teenage daughter all move in to help her raise her sons. The house is now a lot fuller! (imdb)

It's a heroic tale of three blood brothers and their struggle in the midst of war and political upheaval. It is based on "The Assassination of Ma," a Qing Dynasty (1644-1911) story about the killing of general Ma Xinyi. The story was filmed by Zhang Che in 1973 as The Blood Brothers. (imdb)

A trio of murderous psychopaths break out of a mental hospital during a power blackout and lay siege to their doctor's house. (imdb)

Ever since the second grade when he first saw her in "E.T. The Extraterrestrial," Brian Herzlinger has had a crush on Drew Barrymore. Now, 20 years later he's decided to try to fulfill his lifelong dream by asking her for a date. There's one small problem: She's Drew Barrymore and he's, well, Brian Herzlinger, a broke 27-year-old aspiring filmmaker from New Jersey. But that doesn't stop Brian and his film school pals from doing everything they can think of to convince Barrymore to go out with him -- and documenting their quest along the way. (DEJ Productions)

Herbie, the Volkswagen Beetle with a mind of its own, is racing in the Monte Carlo Rally. Unbeknownst to Herbie's driver... (imdb)