Welcome to Criticker: Home of insanely accurate recommendations!

Saute Ma Ville channels all the despondency, destructiveness and enraged obnoxiousness of teenage girls into a tight thirteen minute sequence consisting of our heroine (below) destroying a kitchen as she attempts to cook, clean and polish her shoes (and, as she attempts to feed and care for it, kill one cat). (bourbonandtea.blogspot.com)

Two baby squirrels ask grandpa to explain what "men" are when he comes in singing "peace on earth, goodwill to men". Grandpa tells the story of man's last war. (imdb)

Jean-Claude Van Damme stars in an explosive thriller set in Hong Kong's shady manufacturing scene during the 1997 handover to China. (Sony)

A dark force threatens Alpha, a vast metropolis and home to species from a thousand planets. Special operatives Valerian and Laureline must race to identify the marauding menace and safeguard not just Alpha, but the future of the universe. (imdb)

It's James Franco's turn to step in to the celebrity hot seat for the latest installment of The Comedy Central Roast. (imdb)

This film is set in Amish Country, at a local farm, where a woman's husband is mysteriously killed by his own tractor! (imdb)

In Paris, after winning the lottery, the clerk François goes to a bar in Pigalle and offers one hundred thousand Euros per month to the prostitute Daniela to live with him until the end of his money. François is a lonely man, with heart problems and Daniela stays with him for eight days. Then, she decides to come back to her man, the mobster Charly, but she misses François and returns to his place. But once a whore, always a whore. (imdb)

Yusuf and his best friend Memo are pupils at a boarding school for Kurdish boys, secluded in the mountains of Eastern Anatolia. When Memo falls mysteriously ill, Yusuf is forced to struggle through the bureaucratic obstacles put up by the school's repressive authorities to try to help his friend.

A group of British students enbark on summoning spirits on a Ouija board after a night of clubbing. But someone breaks the link before they have finished and now a demon is trapped in their world and the only way to banish it, is for all the people who summoned it to die. (imdb)

On location in Portugal, a film crew runs out of film while making their own version of Roger Corman's The Day the World Ended. The producer is nowhere to be found and director Munro attempts to find him in hopes of being able to finish the film. (imdb)