Welcome to Criticker: Home of insanely accurate recommendations!

Best buddies Mickey, Donald, and Goofy are small-time janitors with big dreams of becoming Musketeers. Peg-Leg Pete, captain of the Musketeers, points out why they'll never make it: Donald is a coward, Goofy is a dim-wit, and Mickey is short. But things change when Princess Minnie demands Musketeer bodyguards when assassins, hired by Pete so he can be king, nearly drop a safe on her. Pete hires Mickey, Donald, and Goofy, the clumsy janitors as Musketeers and Minnie's bodyguards. (imdb)

Seeking a brighter future in megacity Manila, Oscar Ramirez and his family flee their impoverished life in the rice fields of the northern Philippines. But the sweltering capital's bustling intensity quickly overwhelms them, and they fall prey to the rampant manipulations of its hardened locals. Oscar catches a lucky break when he's offered steady work for an armored truck company and gregarious senior officer Ong takes him under his wing. (imdb)

The monstrous alien is at it again. This in time in Los Angeles, he leaves a trail full of dead bodies, and the only man who can stop him this time is Lieutenant Mike Harrigan of the LAPD (Danny Glover) (imdb)

Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley reunite this epic tale chronicling the further mis-adventures of Captain Jack Sparrow. (Buena Vista Pictures)

A motivational speaker discovers that the inheritance his father left for him is in the form of an elephant. (imdb)

An enthusiastic filmmaker thinks he's come up with a totally original idea: animation set to classical music (imdb)

The career of Shakespeare's Sir John Falstaff as roistering companion to young Prince Hal, circa 1400-1413. (imdb)

WWII veteran and former POW Frank Enley (Heflen) lives a peaceful life as a contractor, until his disturbed prison mate Joe Parkson returns to get revenge for the secrets Enley is hiding.

After Frances's seemingly happy San Francisco marriage ends abruptly, she goes into a funk. Urged by her friends to move on, she joins a bus tour of Tuscany where, on the spur of the moment, she buys a crumbling villa. She assembles a crew of oddballs and immigrants to repair the house; over the next year, as they work, she welcomes one of her New York friends who's pregnant and at loose ends, and she seeks love... (imdb)

Five carpoolers travel in a motorhome to reach a common destination. Night falls, and to avoid a dead animal carcass, they crash into a tree. When they come to their senses, they find themselves in the middle of nowhere. The road they were traveling on has disappeared and there is only a dense, impenetrable forest and a wooden house in the middle of a clearing, which they discover is the home of a spine-chilling cult. (imdb)