Welcome to Criticker: Home of insanely accurate recommendations!

Thorny, Rabbit, Mac, and Foster are Vermont State Troopers stationed in the boonies on the Canadian border. When they find out that the state has targeted their low-volume station for a potential budget cut, the guys attempt to straighten up their act but find it's not so easy to change their brazen ways. (Fox Searchlight Pictures)

A ghostly ship looms silently ahead as the crippled, ocean-going, salvage tug Sea Star approaches. The Sea Star crew, their ship slowly sinking, has sought refuge in the eerie calm of the eye of a typhoon to make repairs and hopefully avert disaster. (Universal Studios)

Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda take another bite out of the Big Apple in the sequel to the 2008 summer blockbuster.

On the cusp of retirement, an eccentric mortician recounts several of the strangest stories he's encountered in his long career, but things take a turn for the phantasmagorical when he learns that the final story - is his own.

When student Jake Lo witnesses a killing, he finds himself caught between two feuding drug lords. Betrayed and set up by the federal agents protecting him, the only one he can trust is Ryan, a single-minded Chicago cop who reminds Jake of his deceased father. (imdb)

While on a tour of the White House with his young daughter, a Capitol policeman springs into action to save his child and protect the president from a heavily armed group of paramilitary invaders. (imdb)

On the twentieth anniversary of a 1995 sorority pledge which went wrong, a college campus is rattled by a series of murders. (imdb)

In small-town Texas, high school football is a religion. The head coach is deified, as long as the team is winning and 17-year-old schoolboys carry the hopes of an entire community onto the gridiron every Friday night. In his 35th year as head coach, Bud Kilmer (Jon Voight) is trying to lead his West Canaan Coyotes to their 23rd division title... (imdb)

After the world is decimated by a man-made plague, a battle of literally Biblical proportions ensues between the survivors. (imdb)

The story begins with five innocent kids on their way to checkout reports of grave robbing. As Sally, (Burns) her invalid brother Franklin, and three friends head out to inspect the gravesite of her family, they are soon side tracked on the ultimate journey of terror. One by one, they wander into the murderous clutches of Leatherface and his trusty chainsaw. The poster reads: "Who will survive and what will be left of them?" In this case, not much, and what is...well, becomes the main course. (House of Horrors)