Celluloid Junkie - 2521 Rankings
Member Since: Mar 31, 2008
Check out Barthalen's...
|49 T3||Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017) - Nov 16, 2017
"With leads this miscast and/or unlikeable, all the CGI colors in the world can't turn this into something worthwhile. The opening minutes really drew me in, but then some vague plot-like thing starts (...Oh, I've been told it was the actual plot) and it's all downhill from there. Much like me, it's pretty damn gorgeous but kind of boring and aimless."
|75 T7||The Nice Guys (2016) - Nov 13, 2017
"I guess I had low expectations (it doesn't help that in general I kinda dislike Crowe and expected Gosling to just play Coolguy McHunkyman) but all in all I had a fun time with this. It coasts along nicely, had a few 'oh damn!' moments and it's Shane Black-y as all hell."
|63 T5||Vampyres (1974) - Nov 13, 2017
"[Sleazy Man voice] "Now THIS is a vampire movie for me!""
|43 T3||Let's Be Evil (2016) - Nov 06, 2017
"Let's Be Disappointed"
|84 T9||Paris, Texas (1984) - Oct 30, 2017
"An affecting story about loss, sacrifice, the (self-made) barriers between people and the hope for something better. Perfect for a lazy, melancholy sunday. I had no idea this starred the late and great Harry Dean Stanton and that was such a welcome surprise. Straightforward but subtly beautiful/heartbreaking."
|59 T4||Bad Grandpa (2013) - Oct 30, 2017
"I was never a Jackass fan at the time ("Too unsophisticated for my tastes" he grunted, putting on another Aqua Teen Hunger Force episode), but Bad Grandpa kinda worked for me. The bare minimum narrative makes the various hidden camera antics land a bit better. The kid was amusing and surprisingly game for anything, and a few parts (the beauty pageant especially) had me howling like a madman. "
|59 T4||Sex Drive (2008) - Oct 27, 2017
"The unrated version contains flubbed lines, going-on-too-long takes, extra dirty ADR and badly greenscreened nude people just because, all of which seem like improvements to me (apart from a 2 hour runtime). It's basic teen comedy stuff, but I'll be damned if this didn't have some inspired moments. Marsden and Green were surprisingly amusing. Why I was watching this when I'm at least twice as old as the target audience you ask? Well, you see, the reason is oh woops look at the time gotta go"
|60 T4||UHF (1989) - Oct 23, 2017
"When I saw this as a kid I thought it was hilarious, and the idea of creating your own entertainment has stuck with me since. Guess that's how I ended up doing a local radio show with some mates for a few years with sketches and parody songs and crap. Anyhoo, UHF nowadays feels like a tonally inconsistent mishmash. Some bland bits, some inspired comedy (Conan the Librarian and 'supplies' are gold, Jerry! Gold!) in a super cheesy sauce. Weird Al is still my hero though."
|72 T7||Maps to the Stars (2014) - Oct 20, 2017
"I guess I was in the mood for an at times uncomfortable or darkly amusing movie about broken, deluded people tainted by their superficial 'humans are commodities' environment. Like a pig wallowing in mud, I enjoyed all the hypocrisy and cynicism. It stumbles a few times towards the end, but Moore was damn good and Wasikowska was my kind of messed up. It's not really that special but pushed my specific misanthropy buttons."
|82 T9||Iron Monkey (1993) - Oct 16, 2017
"Fast-paced wuxia entertainment that is equal amounts playful and badass. If you ever think 'I wish Robin Hood would do more bicycle kicks and whip around dodging weapons and magical sleeves while kicking Corrupt Authority Figure ass', this is the thing for you. The kinetic action is (over the) top notch and I kinda want to watch it again right now."