Cinema Addict - 2471 Rankings
Member Since: Mar 31, 2008
Check out Barthalen's...
|38 T2||Grandma's Boy (2006) - May 19, 2017
"The Rob Schneider Project- day 21. After today's experiment (an incredibly bland comedy with no discernable plot or jokes and terribly annoying characters) we were discussing our experiences in the cafeteria. Dr. Fitch jokingly remarked Schneider was actually the best thing about this movie. A nearby guard overheard, screamed, drew a gun and shot him! I must've fainted, as I woke up back in my quarters, the door locked from outside. What the hell is going on?!? Schneider-annoyance factor: 0.8"
|22 T2||2016 (2010) - May 17, 2017
"Ohh, that trailer. I still remember the day we first saw each other. I was immediately smitten, you were all like 'tee-hee just wait until you see the complete version of me'. It took years, but I finally found you on Youtube. My joy was short-lived however, as you were rather boring and offered too little cheapo CGI hilarity, and we parted ways soon after. But sometimes, late at night when I'm feeling blue, I check your trailer again. Just to see what could've been. TWE TWE TWENTY SIXTEEN!"
|17 T1||Rings (2017) - May 16, 2017
"I put on Rings, my phone also rings, and a voice whispers "Seven scenes". Several minutes later, the movie is still playing but I am dead inside."
|72 T7||Bat Without Wings (1980) - May 16, 2017
"A lot of minor but enjoyable aspects come together to make a relatively entertaining experience; the plot is amusingly convoluted, sets are varied and lit nicely, there's some adventure-movie style traps (poisoned ponds, spikey pits), a decent number of fights and the villain looks like Adam West Batman crossed with a sadistic member of KISS. Nothing earth-shattering, but nothing dragging it down either. Me me, I'm a Man Without Things (To Whine About)."
|80 T9||Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017) - May 09, 2017
"This could've used 31% less quipping and doubling down on Obvious Character Traits. Mantis felt half-baked, Baby Groot is just there to sell toys and the final showdown (with Mario-style moving platforms and iffy physics) didn't really wow me in any way. That said, Yondu The Movie (featuring the GotG) is full of cool designs, color, humor, a great cast & cameos, emotional payoffs and I can't not be down with rainbow-energy-puking tentacle monsters. Does what a sequel should, most of the time."
|50 T3||Sadako v Kayako (2016) - May 04, 2017
"It's not as low-effort as it could've been and there's a few creepy moments scattered throughout, but once you get to the climax you realize you've been waiting 80 minutes to see two nightgown-wearing Japanese ghostladies with long black hair twitchily walk up to each other in the dark and it dawns on you that maybe, just maybe, you need to set better priorities in life."
|52 T4||Hackers (1995) - May 04, 2017
"Had I seen this in my (pre)teen years, I would've thought this was cool, hip, even slightly romantic and completely true in regards to how hacking/the internet works. I would've crushed hard on Vulcan Jolie and thought dressing/behaving as an utter douche was acceptable. Seeing this for the first time in the pre-apocalypse year of 2017, I can only laugh and cringe. So deliciously '90's Hollywood' that it almost works as a hilarious, reality-avoiding security blanket."
|71 T6||Fulltime Killer (2001) - May 04, 2017
"It's a bit too smug about being such a cool shooting-mans flick to really get away with it, especially with all the explicit movie referencing. Sure, it's fun and over the top when it's firing (guns) on all cylinders, but Yam kinda drags down the third act and the whole experience becomes a bit unsatisfying. "
|65 T5||Chaos on the Bridge (2015) - May 04, 2017
"My first exposure to Trek was catching the crummy season 1 TNG episode When the Bough Breaks as a kid while flipping channels. I was immediately hooked, completing my transformation to the Dork Side. So yeah, I enjoyed this. Hearing about all the bullshit and frustrations behind the scenes was interesting and seeing all these Trek folks again just fills me with comfortnostalgia. Pretty slight on actual content though, so for hopeless fans only."
|73 T7||Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986) - May 04, 2017
"Totally forgot to rate this ages ago. Pretty damn gritty and grim, one of those 'pretty good for what it is but I never want to see it again' type-a-things. Rooker just disappears into the role and it's pretty damn frightening to see. Killer ending."