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Barthalen

Celluloid Junkie - 2547 Film Rankings

Member Since: Mar 31, 2008

Location: Netherlands

Age: 36

Gender: Male

Status: Single

more Recent Rankings
58 Godzilla: Monster Planet (2017) - Feb 21, 2018
"The premise is pretty neat, adding some sci-fi elements mixes well with the desperate survival mode the human characters are in. Becomes a bit boring by the halfway point. The cell-shaded CGI animation is distracting(ly ugly) and makes the big action finale just feel like a crummy cutscene with a Godzilla who's just.. there. The very end is interesting again, so I'll guess I'll check the continuation. Not like I have anything better to do anyway.."
67 Iron Monkey 2 (1996) - Feb 12, 2018
"It can't recapture the more elegant magic of the first Iron Monkey, especially with a story that just goes through the motions. The frantic editing was more distracting this time around, chopping up the action to such a degree that the artistry kinda evaporates. It's still fun to watch the crazy antics taking place, but all in all this felt more forgettable than I'd hoped. And oh yeah, the music is pretty crummy and ruins whatever mood is being created."
49 Justice League (2017) - Feb 12, 2018
"A schizophrenic yet by-the-numbers affair that has all the emotional depth of smashing action figures together. So obviously forced into a mold by a committee in damage control mode that it's hard not to be distracted with all the obviously reshot scenes (so many dialogue close-ups), annoyed by the male-gazeyness of the Amazons or bored by the badly edited, ugly CGI action. Batman comes off as a chump and the desperate attempts to make Aquaman cool are hilarious to me."
60 Race with the Devil (1975) - Jan 26, 2018
"Now lookee here, in this home we don' much care fer yer kind of motorhome-lovin', dirtbike-ridin', underwritten-spouses-havin' protagonist fellas. We're used to more entertainment 'round these parts and y'all just too dang boring. Now take yer A-team-level cinematography and stunts and come back once ya got an actual third act, ya hear?"
70 Excalibur (1981) - Jan 24, 2018
"There is a lack of humanity/emotion in Excalibur that keeps the viewer at a distance, but at the same time it's refreshing to watch a fantasy epic without soulless CGI but with real actors in metal outfits trudging through mud and water. Would've loved this as a kid, witchy Helen Mirren would've done things to me (and likely made me go all goth-y in my teens). Chrome-dome Merlin was a highlight and O Fortuna makes any scene feel like a life-changing event. All in all, flawed but enjoyable."
68 The Pirate (1973) - Jan 24, 2018
"Cool, martial arts on the seas! Oh, well, ok, on a boat then. Oh, well, ok, on the beach then. The main issue of The Pirate (apart from a limited amount of actual pirating) is a lack of spectacle in the fights. There is a liveliness to them that I warmed up to as the movie went on, but it didn't have the crazy acrobatics or wow-moments that I crave."
80 Ponyo (2008) - Dec 27, 2017
"I didn't expect my physical self to be able to experience any positivity anymore after the shitstorm that was 2017, but damn if Ponyo didn't tear at my heartstrings and got me all smilin' an' shit. Fantastic animation, colorful, filled with humanistic characters. Sosuke's mom is a badass. I don't know how I feel about using an apocalyptic scenario to sort of force two kids into a relationship, much like my parents trying to get me hitched during the Y2K scare. Nice try, suckers!"
70 Taste the Blood of Dracula (1970) - Dec 27, 2017
"A direct continuation from and improvement over Dracula Has Risen From The Grave, mainly because it offers some more interesting human characters and has a bit more sleazy/pulpy fun along the way. With Draccy's blood having turned to dust it felt like the title could've been Snort The Blood of Dracula. Time for an edgy remake?"
75 Twin Peaks: The Missing Pieces (2014) - Dec 27, 2017
"Since I've finally worked through all the official material related to Twin Peaks (what a ride!) seeing the Missing Pieces was a very enjoyable kind of closure. Understandable why most of it was cut, and the Bowie scenes make everything even odder than before, but I'm glad I saw it nonetheless."
52 Gothic & Lolita Psycho (2010) - Dec 27, 2017
"Could've used more gothicness, lolitaness and psychotic, erm, ness. As it stands now it feels either like one of those typical Japanese B-movies that never reaches any of its crazy potential, or like a cosplayer project with above average production values. Enjoyment might depend on your tolerance for oddly dressed up dames twirling around each other, surrounded by lazy bullet impact CGI."