Celluloid Junkie - 2686 Film Ratings
Member Since: Mar 31, 2008
Check out Barthalen's...
|70 55%||Heavy Trip (2018) - Sep 21, 2021
"The most wholesome death metal movie since How Grünnr Got His SküllKrüshrr Back."
|73 64%||The Ritual (2017) - Sep 21, 2021
"I have a bit of a weakness for 'people getting fucked up in the woods' movies, probably because I'm not an outdoorsy person and not because I'm secretly the Blackwoods Killer, honest. The Ritual offers a familiar premise/escalation in a way I found engaging all the way through. The locations are atmospheric and once Weird Things start happening it keeps the viewer off-balance. Extra points for offering a visually interesting antagonist. (P.s. looking for 3 more for a Blackwoods hike, poke me!)"
|65 45%||Tenet (2020) - Sep 20, 2021
"[A half-naked, unkempt man falls out of a turnstile wearing a breathing mask] "You.. you guys! I spent 11 months traveling back in time to tell you not to get too hyped up about Tenet; the premise is definitely cool but only the middle third really does fun stuff with it, the rest is either exposition or character stuff you won't care abo- ...what do you mean, it's 2021? What do you mean, gone from Criticker since october last year? Wait, this turnstile wasn't even turned on?!? GODDAMNMOTHERF-" "
|84 90%||Suspiria (2018) - Oct 21, 2020
"The first time I heard about people that undergo surgery with inadequate anesthesia who feel every painful thing yet are unable to communicate, ooof. That concept just lodged itself into my brain like some nightmare-tick to stick around forevermore. Ughhh. [shivers] This movie showed me things that gave me that same visceral, horrifying uncomfortableness. So hey, fuck you, movie!"
|69 51%||Dragons Forever (1988) - Aug 31, 2020
"Three liars and cheats with questionable ethics are trying their best to help a crime boss continue to dump toxic waste. These are the main characters, and it initially soured me on the proceedings. I'm having a hard time enjoying Jackie punching dudes when he originally tries to pressure a woman into dropping a rape charge. Big Yikes Energy. By the time the finale rolled around, though, I could roll with the punches. And kicks. And acrobatics. Best part; cigar-smoking crimeboss hamming it up."
|49 26%||Okaruto (2009) - Aug 31, 2020
"I enjoyed the dry documentary aesthetic of Noroi which initially worked here as well, but every time something involving a CGI thingee needs to happen it looks so cheap that all goodwill evaporates. It also doesn't do anything truly interesting on the way to the conclusion once the setup is established. The big reveal at the end just looked like a Tim and Eric bit and that's both hilarious and sad."
|88 95%||Total Recall (1990) - Aug 31, 2020
"Man, they don't make 'em like this anymore. Total Recall is so good at being so damn entertaining. From the perfect casting, fast-moving plot with plenty of reveals and twists, to the squib-heavy action and (relatively) great physical effects; Verhoeven knows how to deliver the goods. And as a bonus, the density of quality Arnie screams is INSANE. Those vacuum-expanding eyeball-poppin' faces messed me up as a kid and will always be slightly unnerving to me."
|65 45%||The Lodge (2020) - Aug 31, 2020
"Past the halfway point I got a bit frustrated since the setup felt cruel and abusive to me, but the cold and isolated atmosphere kept me going. Stuck with me after the credits rolled, and despite not quite liking what it has to say about mental health, all the elements put together did make for an effectively moody piece."
|73 64%||Dragon Inn (1992) - Aug 31, 2020
"People from different factions out to exploit or capture each other get stuck in one location and shenanigans ensue. You never have to wait too long for something entertaining to happen, the fights are enjoyably exaggerated and lead to a satisfying showdown."
|75 69%||Tumbbad (2018) - Aug 31, 2020
"A great-looking and at times effectively creepy tale about the curse of greed. The few songs were integrated nicely, the location where the main supernatural events take place has a wonderful claustrophobic quality to it, even the CGI creature design worked. I always like it when there's specific rules to a process that people can then creatively exploit, so the climax got a great 'oh nooo!' panicky reaction out of me. A simple story, told well."