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Hawkins

Movie Buff - 293 Rankings

Member Since: Sep 20, 2015

Location: San Diego, CA, USA

Age: 28

Gender: Male

Bio: The jungle, it just came alive and took him...

more Recent Rankings
85 T8 The Holy Mountain (1973) - Nov 14, 2017
"The first rule of filmmaking is that if your message is about abandoning the ego you shouldn't cast yourself as a suave wizard who kicks Jesus' ass and takes him as a pupil. Jodorowsky broke the rules with this film. "
72 T6 Thor: Ragnarok (2017) - Nov 09, 2017
"Like any good doomsday myth it's funny and lighthearted. Earth is wisely swapped for Planet Hulk, Jeff Goldblum reprises every role he had on Portlandia, the action is all video game combat, the Devo guy does the music. Villain is poor even by MCU standards but Blanchett brings the right attitude. It's probably the most entertaining Thor movie but the worst Guardians of the Galaxy movie. "
25 T1 Wishmaster 2: Evil Never Dies (1999) - Oct 26, 2017
"Whether it's John Cena visiting terminally ill children or evil genies interpreting the phrase "go fuck yourself" too literally everybody loves a wish granter. Somehow this movie doesn't do enough wish granting. Everything is awful except Andrew Divoff and even he's awful. "
64 T4 Deep Blue Sea (1999) - Oct 22, 2017
"Jurassic Shark floods enough sets and flips enough tropes to stay entertaining as you suss out it's slasher code - only the blue collar characters survive, everyone with a college education dies like an asshole. It gets a lot of mileage out of the strength of its environment. LL Cool J makes the most of a role clearly meant for Will Smith and Thomas Jane's stunt double shines as the guy who gets destroyed rounding every corner."
89 T9 Lucky (2017) - Oct 17, 2017
"This was the first time I've ever seen a film in the theater alone. I don't just mean that I went by myself, but that I was the only person in the theater. Given this condition I'm sure the movie could have just been 90 minutes of Harry Dean Stanton killing cigarettes and I would have loved it. It turned out to be a rumination on death, truth, and of course, being alone - "all one" says Lucky. If you have any fondness for the late actor it should resonate. The smile he leaves us with is perfect."
12 T1 Sharknado (2013) - Oct 14, 2017
"Unholy vortex hosts food chain grudge match for undiscerning netflix subscribers. You have to ask yourself: are the sharks the perpetrators or are they the victims? This movie is not just optically gray, folks."
24 T1 Spaceballs (1987) - Oct 06, 2017
"It's like a movie based on a few pages of a MAD Magazine. Bill Pullman is terrible and it makes me sad. Some of the meta gags land but a lot of the material is tame slapstick from shortly before Bob Saget started peddling high quality groin shots fast and cheap every week for ten years on cable - I have to watch Steve-O hammer a nail into his dick to get that same high now. Anyway, my favorite bit was the use of the Lawrence of Arabia theme, that was the only 'subtle' joke I caught."
74 T6 Paris, Texas (1984) - Sep 28, 2017
"Mysterious road movie dissolves into artful Jerry Springer episode. Great visuals, potent color scheme (strong greens vs. red, white, blue), Ry Cooder's score fits perfectly. Travel is a key motif. It's cool that Wenders let the kid improvise lines but every time he spoke the movie got worse. The final scene rambles for ten minutes too long but it's one of Harry Dean Stanton's finest moments - a one-way mirror confessional from a man haunted, unable to confront himself. His pathos is remarkable."
87 T9 The Prestige (2006) - Sep 01, 2017
"Yeah it's pretty convoluted and absurd - you have to accept that Tesla invents the replicator from Star Trek and then gives it away for the sake of performance art instead of just using it to print money. But ultimately it's a pretty gripping noir-mystery with an excellent lead rivalry, no real heroes (refreshing!) and a unique sci-fi twist that's right up my alley. "
14 T1 Marley & Me (2008) - Aug 17, 2017
"Idyllic upper middle class family outlives their dog in this heartwarming Hallmark card. My favorite part is when Jennifer Aniston complains about how she looks at 40."