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0 film ratings
JSchlansky

Celluloid Junkie - 3839 Film Ratings

Member Since: Apr 15, 2014

Bio: I perform various production-related tasks
more Recent Ratings
57 38% Shiva Baby (2021) - Jan 26, 2022
"The thin horror veneer doesn't quite work for me but I appreciate the intention. The soundtrack sure was insisting that things were tense but I didn't really feel any of the tension/anxiety myself. I didn't feel the tension/anxiety everyone else seemed to get from Uncut Gems either (which I keep seeing this compared to), so take that as you will. The material feels stretched a little thin even at under 80 minutes, but this is a promising debut with a few funny moments and good performances."
77 71% Chained (2012) - Jan 23, 2022
"I love how blunt this is and how it gets to the point immediately. Vincent D'Onofrio really excels at this type of character. The way he speaks in this role is a big swing, and it really worked for me. Cool that Jennifer Lynch worked with Eamon Farren before her father cast him as Richard Horne in Twin Peaks: The Return."
77 71% Surveillance (2008) - Jan 23, 2022
"Love that one of David Lynch's songs played during the credits. The halting visuals and distorted screams make for a disturbing opening sequence. Bill Pullman doesn't have too much to work with throughout the first 2/3, but his performance gets wild in the third act and I loved it. I would be surprised if anyone didn't see the twist coming. There's a dialogue exchange about 10 minutes in where the characters basically spell out the twist ending. That was a major oversight."
73 64% House of Flying Daggers (2004) - Jan 21, 2022
"Visually stunning and with exciting action sequences that feel both modern and old school simultaneously. While the film never stops being gorgeous, it does stop being interesting during long stretches of blunt exposition. The visual effects haven't aged all that well but, luckily, they aren't too distracting and don't detract too much from the "cool factor" of the action scenes."
54 33% Matchstick Men (2003) - Jan 20, 2022
"The con man and estranged daughter plots are a little too familiar, but the main character is different enough to shake things up. Cage's performance is all over the place here. He's mostly pretty good in the part but has a few moments where he isn't believable in the slightest. The daughter is supposed to be 14 but is written like she's 9 or 10. The original score sounds like it was composed for a movie with a much goofier tone. I thought the twist was obvious; pretty implausible too."
40 18% Inspector Clouseau (1968) - Jan 19, 2022
80 78% Ozark (2017) - Jan 19, 2022
"Breaking Bad + Justified + Three Colors: Blue (because the show is fucking blue)"
30 11% The Woman in the Window (2021) - Jan 19, 2022
"Joe Wright's Oscar-baity style is such a mismatch for this type of story. The music is horribly unfitting and genuinely got on my nerves every time it piped in. The editing stuck out as especially bad. Scenes are often cut like trailers, way too fast and with lots of awkward jumping around between non-complementary shots. The editing being so notably weak has me half-expecting it to earn an Oscar nomination a la Bohemian Rhapsody. The talented cast can't salvage such a stylistic nightmare."
45 22% Oxygen (2021) - Jan 19, 2022
"The plot would need a lot of reworking, but I think this premise would be more effective/frightening if it were more grounded and lacked the sci-fi component. Why project a 3D hologram of a person right in front of their face so they can see themself instead of, I don't know, a MIRROR?! Why would the chamber even have any of these communication tools and an AI voice and everything on the inside if the people in it are supposed to be unconscious... but not a way to open it from the inside?"
58 39% Angel (1984) - Jan 17, 2022
"A decent sleazy time. The egg-sucking scene is the stuff that dreams are made of. I love it. To hear that John Diehl just improvised that during his audition and it made it into the movie makes me want to see a serial killer movie written by Diehl. The locker room scenes are ridiculous and egregious even by 80s exploitation film standards. Kudos for having a trans character in 1984 who is an actual character and not just some punchline or derisive stereotype."