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Criticker Zealot - 5446 Rankings

Member Since: Apr 20, 2007

Age: 31

Gender: Male

Bio: I need to wander.

I need to wonder.

more Featured Reviews
T8 The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires (1974) - Feb 25, 2012
"No other serious actor would read this script, willingly accept it, and treat every line as if his entire career depended on it being delivered to perfection. Peter Cushing is my hero."
T1 Panic Room (2002) - Nov 15, 2012
"Does not get enough hate. The digital camerawork is dated and unnecessary, and just about every plot point once the action starts is contrived to the point that surpasses camp value. It's the kind of absurdity that makes you embarrassed so much time and energy went into trying to convince people of this shlock. Jodie Foster does show lots of cleavage, though."
T3 The Room (2003) - Aug 18, 2012
"Take out sex scenes, those spectacular Golden Gate Bridge shots, & guys throwing a football around and I think you have 40 minute movie. Entertainment value is mostly achieved through the extremes of narcissism that the plot steadily builds on until that hilarious finish."
T1 From the Terrace (1960) - Oct 24, 2012
"Words fail to convey the utter banality and cringe-inducing moments that clutter this soapy, melodramatic mess. Paul Newman can only do so much, and even he seems to barely care. If this is the best that Ernest Lehman [usually a very fine screenwriter] could do, I shudder at what O'Hara's novel must contain."
T3 The Two Jakes (1990) - Sep 02, 2012
"Just about all the performances except for Nicholson seem glaringly off. His direction of the camera is at least okay (a.k.a. nothing special). A recycled portion of the original film is used for a good amount of the story once it gets going, too, so good luck enjoying this on its own terms. Oddest of all is a homosexual subplot that barely gets fleshed out."
T6 Superman: The Movie (1978) - Jun 26, 2012
"Great beginning. I've always remembered the back story most of all. The rest of it (and some of the Smallville sections) rivals Footloose as the corniest flick I've ever experienced. Superman's most authentic cinematic outing."
T3 Blue Blood (1973) - Apr 21, 2013
"Worth seeing for whatever the hell Oliver Reed is doing here."
T3 Paranormal Activity 3 (2011) - Oct 25, 2011
"I saw the first two almost 9 months ago and the repetition in scares / narrative / pace were still unshakable. It's still an interesting formula but people need to give this series up already."
T3 Orphans of the Storm (1921) - Oct 06, 2012
"Griffith continues his '_____ for Dummies' history lessons. I was able to give some allowances for the earlier work, but you could learn 100x this films worth on the French Revolution in the time this takes to painfully draw everything out in melodramatic convulsions. And with the movements of the German/Russians brewing at this very moment in history, I feel less inclined to show interest in the little technical value this holds. Lillian Gish continues to absolutely stun me, though."
T8 Troll 2 (1990) - May 05, 2011
"Creates a new bottom for horrible films to aspire to. I'm of the opinion that's something to be praised for."