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Ocelot

Cinema Addict - 2088 Rankings

Member Since: Apr 16, 2009

Location: Acton, Massachusetts, USA

Bio: I love movies. I like talking about them. Feel free to message me and call me a stupid asshole if you disagree with one of my reviews, or if you just happen to feel like it.

more Featured Reviews
30 T3 Rumor Has It... (2005) - Jul 25, 2009
"The "twist" in this couldn't have come farther out of left field. It came from an opposing field across the parking lot, after being blown for miles from a much further away field, which is itself a part of a much larger field. And that field came from another dimension full of an infinite number of fields."
T1 Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002) - Apr 17, 2009
"Unacceptably bad. Even giving this film a score is too generous. Hayden Christiansen is unfairly blamed, by the way. Everyone is terrible in this film, and Natalie Portman is the worst."
T1 Cop Out (2010) - Apr 05, 2014
"If you'd told me this movie was a remake of Weekend at Bernie's with Bruce Willis as the reanimated corpse, I'd have believed you!"
25 T2 Russell Madness (2015) - Mar 13, 2015
"For a movie meant for children, it spends an exorbitant amount of time on its plot. And you'd expect the plot to be about a kid and his puppy, but it's actually about his effeminate dad's descent into corporate Hell with Cliff from Cheers as the devil. I wanted terrible CGI of humans being attacked by animals. I got 90 minutes of exposition and a rip-off of Thunderstruck. This is the English Patient of wrestling dog movies."
T1 Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005) - Apr 17, 2009
"Just as abysmally, unwatchably bad as Attack of the Clones, but it gets a zero for forcing me to hear idiots talk about how great it is because it's so dark and epic. Fuck you."