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0 film ratings
Paxton

Celluloid Junkie - 2830 Film Ratings

Member Since: Jan 24, 2012

Location: Your neighborhood, right behind you. , USA

Age: 39

Bio: I'm going to fudge my rankings and uprank movies that are my actual favorites. My favorite movies are rarely the best in craft. And while one of my favorites may be the expertly crafted The Godfather, I'm not going to be using this unique opportunity to recommend you something you already know you should see. If you were waiting for me personally to convince you to watch Seven Samurai, you have put too much pressure on a guy that likes Michael Dudikoff films. I had previously given Ravenous an 86 when in reality it's a 75 tops. Now it's a 100. Welcome to my recommendations.
more Recent Ratings
61 38% The Expendables 2 (2012) - Apr 19, 2021
"They managed to assemble every major action hero of the last three decades and they immediately turn the focus onto the non-fighting kid from Hunger Games, uhhh, cause he's the only one that can act presumably. "
69 55% Time Bandits (1981) - Apr 19, 2021
"A tale of two films as on rewatch the first half really is a bit of a slog. I was wondering if my kid would enjoy this as I plan a 40 year anniversary marathon that has little to do with the age of the movies themselves and everything to do with a horrific midlife crisis for the curator. "
77 80% The Witch (2016) - Apr 16, 2021
"Not to rip off MadMan but Black Phillip is the G.O.A.T."
42 12% Horror High (1974) - Apr 16, 2021
"A perfect example of a film that would not benefit from a full restoration. The special edition DVD should come with a pair of tinted glasses to make it even darker and less decipherable. One of those glorious 70's movies rated PG that ends with a zoom out on an eviscerated corpse. Should be on often at that horror themed bar that opened in Denver, CO."
41 11% Land of the Minotaur (1976) - Apr 15, 2021
"Pleasance vs Cushing is always a welcome matchup but this falls in the passable bin of both of these legends. Never clicked, not even its hooves."
35 6% Fleshburn (1984) - Apr 15, 2021
"Fleshburn does for Native Americans what First Blood did for long haired hippies: horribly misrepresents them."
55 27% The Revenger (1989) - Apr 14, 2021
"It took 100 quarts of blue paint, the best Snake Plissken cosplay outfit I've seen, Oliver Reed donning a mustache mysteriously missing in the film's poster, the sexiest saxophone playing since Lost Boys, and a finale in which three separate people at three separate times run into a burning building for no reason, but it was all worth it because for some reason I wrote, "They just killed the guy from Pirates of the Who Caresibbean.""
45 14% Motorama (1991) - Apr 14, 2021
"There just aren't enough R-rated kids movies. The script for this movie was a bowl that was placed under David Lynch's films and caught all the spillage."
57 31% The Last Shark (1981) - Apr 13, 2021
"Won't be The Last Shark movie I watch! Cause I like watching shark movies...God this review is awful."
70 61% Sonic the Hedgehog (2020) - Apr 13, 2021
"Vicarious review: it was fun in all the right ways. Moved at a pace that made Godzilla vs. Kong feel like a Terrence Malick picture. Perfect for an eight year old. I laughed. We both shuddered at the original trailer. I'm hoping to use this as a gateway for him to get into video game movies because I can't think of a better punishment."