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0 film ratings
Paxton

Celluloid Junkie - 2989 Film Ratings

Member Since: Jan 24, 2012

Location: Your neighborhood, right behind you. , USA

Age: 40

Bio: I'm going to fudge my rankings and uprank movies that are my actual favorites. My favorite movies are rarely the best in craft. And while one of my favorites may be the expertly crafted The Godfather, I'm not going to be using this unique opportunity to recommend you something you already know you should see. If you were waiting for me personally to convince you to watch Seven Samurai, you have put too much pressure on a guy that likes Michael Dudikoff films. I had previously given Ravenous an 86 when in reality it's a 75 tops. Now it's a 100. Welcome to my recommendations.
more Recent Ratings
67 50% Freaky (2020) - Oct 22, 2021
"Henceforth all poetry will be graded as to whether or not it would move a teenage boy to willingly make out with an old man."
67 50% Class of 1999 (1990) - Oct 22, 2021
""Completely" is always the correct amount of nutso for horror sequels. I don't always recommend films based on one actor's hairstyle, but Stacy Keach in this needs to be seen. John P. Ryan was the MVP but all of the adult cast is having fun with it."
71 68% Ouija: Origin of Evil (2016) - Oct 21, 2021
"I have never touched a Ouija board in my life but that is exactly how I open my mouth when eating popcorn."
69 56% Malatesta's Carnival of Blood (1973) - Oct 21, 2021
"I don't think I could prove in a court of law that I've actually seen this. It's far more a fever dream experience than a feature film. If whittled down to a storyline on a napkin, I think you could see a fair premise for a horror film, but you would've excised everything that makes it an experience: the sets, the cast, the costumes, the public domain horror films in the background of a room full of ghouls. Recommended if you press play after midnight but before you pass out."
67 50% The Prophecy (1995) - Oct 20, 2021
"Even when he’s playing the literal Devil, Viggo Mortensen is somehow still the hero. Great cast all around. A solid B- film that reaches its highest possible potential, which is a B-."
64 43% Warlock: The Armageddon (1993) - Oct 20, 2021
"Even though she was in the Hellraiser series, this is the movie where Paula Marshall ends up bound and gagged. Ups the crazy factor as every horror sequel should and I enjoyed it for what it is. "
65 45% Warlock (1989) - Oct 19, 2021
"Warlock flies like Pumpkinhead walks if you get my drift. There is something endearing about Julian Sands witching about as though he isn't in a trash film, and honestly, that alone raises it up out of the heap. Mary Woronov has a fun appearance as a psychic. Richard E. Grant is essentially Hugh Grant without the fetching unaware smarm that makes me hate him so damn much."
50 20% The Dark and the Wicked (2020) - Oct 19, 2021
"Does for farming what Lawnmower Man did for virtual reality psychology. Not really. The film is draped in atmosphere and it needs to be at its glacier pace, but the atmosphere that I watched it in with a talkative house guest prevented me entirely from getting into the groove of it. If patience is a virtue than heroes may love this."
61 38% Jakob's Wife (2021) - Oct 18, 2021
"It had more to say than it had to offer but it was fun which is all that should matter in the end. Larry Fessenden looks like if things didn't work out for Jack Nicholson after he made One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest."
55 28% Pledge Night (1988) - Oct 18, 2021
"With absolutely no right to do so, this becomes something of interest by simply being bizarre enough to earn your attention. Impossibly, I am finding myself recommending this to people just based on the nutso factor of this otherwise terrible film."