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TheDenizen

Celluloid Junkie - 3067 Film Ratings

Member Since: Apr 13, 2006

Location: Toronto, Canada

Age: 44

Gender: Male

Status: Single

Bio: I watch Kung Fu, Samurai, Exploitation, Action, Western, and Horror flicks. I can enjoy the classics, but I especially love low budget garbage.
more Featured Reviews
20 6% The Matrix Reloaded (2003) - Jan 29, 2007
"Man, I love when people try to explain to me how the Matrix films have a brilliant philosophical storyline. It instantly lets me know whose opinion I can safely ignore from then on."
85 91% The Shining (1980) - Aug 13, 2007
"REDRUM! REDRUMMM! The Shining is referenced and quoted and parodied so often that's it's easy to forget just how scary it is. Jack is crazy as fuck, but Shelley Duvall deserves a lot of credit for how well she sells it."
30 11% Dawn of the Dragonslayer (2011) - Jun 03, 2015
"It's Travel Montage: The Movie. Endless shots of people hiking across fields, riding past mountains, and wading through streams. Some of the remote Irish locations are fantastic, but everything else is complete amateur hour...a trite, cliched fantasy story delivered with zero style. The CGI dragon looks particularly shitty, and it's pretty obvious that none of the stars have ever held a sword before. Or acted before. Or had a human emotion."
99 99% Conan the Barbarian (1982) - Aug 13, 2007
"Fucking brilliant. Seriously, it's one of the best movies ever made."
90 95% Infernal Affairs (2002) - Aug 13, 2007
"The original classic cops n' gangsters cat and mouse game that was remade as The Departed. This flick has just as much star power as the remake, and doesn't shoehorn in a pointless love triangle. Ergo, it's a better film."
70 63% Visitor Q (2001) - Feb 02, 2015
"Takashi Miike's twisted documentary style fable about the power of motherhood saving a horribly dysfunctional family. It's a feverish and blackly funny vision of incest, necrophilia, scat, drug abuse and murder that somehow gets washed away a deluge of purifying mother's milk. Who is the mysterious Visitor Q and what does he represent? Beyond being the catalyst of the mother's empowerment, I haven't the faintest idea. A lactation fetishists wet dream."
75 74% Rumble in the Bronx (1995) - Aug 13, 2007
"The first Jackie Chan movie I ever saw and still a sentimental fave. This flick was an epiphany for me, the action was beyond anything I'd ever dreamed possible. Rumble in the Bronx sparked my love of kung fu and ruined most North American action films forever for me."
50 26% No Cure for Cancer (1992) - May 09, 2012
"I used to really love Dennis Leary as a teen, until I discovered that most of his material was recycled from Bill Hicks' act. Leary is a bluster of kinetic energy on stage, but his stuff isn't very original....his goofy ranting was just more palatable to middle America than Hicks' genuine anger."
60 40% Morning Departure (1950) - Jul 15, 2012
"A bunch of British navy dudes are trapped in a sunken sub and face certain death with hilariously inappropriate and frighteningly chipper stoicism. I kept waiting for one of the officers to insist that the others should eat him in order to survive. Decent acting, but the direction was pretty flat. The only scene with real palpable tension was when they were dealing out cards to see which men would get the last available scuba suits. That was a great scene in an otherwise OK movie."
85 91% Gangs of New York (2002) - Feb 06, 2007
"Pretty awesome except for Cameron Diaz's pointless character and her frankly laughable attempts at an accent."