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TheDenizen

Celluloid Junkie - 2978 Film Rankings

Member Since: Apr 13, 2006

Location: Toronto, Canada

Age: 42

Gender: Male

Status: Single

Bio: I watch Kung Fu, Samurai, Exploitation, Action, Western, and Horror flicks. I can enjoy the classics, but I especially love low budget garbage.

more Featured Reviews
85 T10 Gangs of New York (2002) - Feb 06, 2007
"Pretty awesome except for Cameron Diaz's pointless character and her frankly laughable attempts at an accent."
75 T8 Black Snake Moan (2007) - Jul 29, 2007
"What could be better than Sam Jackson playing a grizzled old blues man? How about Christina Ricci half naked and chained to a radiator? Tough call..."
70 T7 Cat Soup (2001) - May 20, 2011
"An anthropomorphic cat takes acid and goes to a circus where a woman is carved to pieces and a flood happens so he gets on a boat and hallucinates some fish eating his shit. Then it gets weird."
40 T2 Kull the Conqueror (1997) - Sep 03, 2008
"Kevin Sorbo plays the Robert E. Howard barbarian like he played Hercules on TV: like a big doofus. Tia Carrere can't act either, and this dumb flick is riddled with bad CGI, and scored with heavy metal guitars. What kind of barbarian movie has zero tits and zero blood?"
55 T4 Spun (2002) - Jan 05, 2007
"Kinda like a modern day Cheech and Chong movie, except instead of being about funny potheads, it's about psychotic meth addicts. Brittany Murphy looks particularly skanky."
T1 Teen Wolf Too (1987) - Aug 05, 2011
"Well, I'll say this about Jason Bateman: he's no Michael J. Fox."
100 T10 The Wild Bunch (1969) - Aug 13, 2007
"This is the greatest western ever made. Sam Peckinpah's masterpiece stars Bill Holden, Robert Ryan, Ernest Borgnine, and Warren Oates, and it blows me away every time I watch it. 3 massive action setpieces (a bank robbery, a train robbery, and the cataclysmic final massacre) highlight this somber tale of the dying old west, and old men who can't keep up with the pace of their violent lives any longer. Unbelievably bloody and sad. #3 in my all time top 10."
85 T10 Valhalla Rising (2010) - Jan 03, 2013
"A mute Viking warrior and a young boy go on an existential journey to hell in this dark and mesmerizing flick by Nicolas Winding Refn. Brutally violent and achingly beautiful in equal doses, drenched in ominous music and intense bursts of color. It reminded me a lot of Aguirre the Wrath of God, but instead of Klaus Kinski lurching around like a goon, you get Mads Mikkelsen brandishing an axe and staring a hole through one motherfucker after another. Epic."
60 T5 Cut and Run (1985) - Apr 20, 2013
"Let's see...Michael Berryman, Karen Black and Willie Aames in a cheap Italian jungle schlockfest packed with machete wielding natives? Yes, please! The story is utter nonsense involving a Jonestown survivor who reinvents himself as a maniacal drug lord and a TV reporter going to ridiculous lengths to interview him, but it offers up plenty of gory treats and sweaty naked girls. Aames' over the top performance is particularly laughable. Fun crap that doesn't take itself too seriously."
70 T7 Maniac (2012) - Jul 14, 2013
"Remake of the Bill Lustig slasher classic, with Elijah Wood doing a pretty good job as the mewling psycho killer originally played by the great Joe Spinell. Almost the whole thing is cleverly shot from the killer's point of view, which makes a neat gimmick, and the gore is all appropriately gross, though some of the stalking sequences aren't as tense as they should be. It's a pretty good flick overall, which forces you to ask: is it appreciably better than the original? No, not really. "