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Celluloid Junkie - 3037 Film Ratings

Member Since: Apr 13, 2006

Location: Toronto, Canada

Age: 43

Gender: Male

Status: Single

Bio: I watch Kung Fu, Samurai, Exploitation, Action, Western, and Horror flicks. I can enjoy the classics, but I especially love low budget garbage.
more Featured Reviews
40 17% The X Files: Fight the Future (1998) - Aug 13, 2007
"I stopped watching the TV series after the first season, so I had no clue what the fuck was going on in this movie. There was a lot of running, and smoking, and stuff that happened in the dark."
30 11% G.I. Jane (1997) - Aug 13, 2007
"Relentlessly trite, but Demi is kinda hot bald."
1% Dead Man on Campus (1998) - Aug 13, 2007
"Why would anyone cast that talentless douchebag from Saved By the Bell as the lead in a movie? Especially one that is ostensibly supposed to be funny?"
55 33% Antropophagus: The Grim Reaper (1980) - Nov 12, 2011
"A group of tourists on a pleasure cruise around the Greek islands discover a remote village which seems to be abandoned, where they are stalked by a cannibalistic maniac. Poor acting and a plodding pace, but it offers up a few gory treats. The scene with George Eastman ripping the fetus from a pregnant Serena Grandi and eating it was a watershed moment in the Video Nasty controversy."
10 3% Dirty Dancing (1987) - Aug 13, 2007
"Fuck you Patrick Swayze, Baby BELONGS in a corner."
70 63% Dead Sushi (2012) - Jun 08, 2015
"Another Noboru Iguchi movie much in the same vein as his previous efforts...which is to say it's juvenile cheesy nonsense bursting at the seams with splooshy gore. This time it's zombie sushi that kills people. Rina Takeda (who was the only decent thing in the pretty abysmal High Kick Girl) seems to be perfectly suited to this sort of film: she's cute, she's got a legit martial arts background, and she's comfortable sharing the camera with disembodied bits of meat jiggling on invisible wires."
45 21% Very Bad Things (1998) - Aug 13, 2007
"The scene where the whore gets accidentally killed is pretty funny. It's mostly downhill after that, which is too bad, since the whore getting killed is one of the first things to happen."
75 74% Quick-draw Okatsu (1969) - Sep 13, 2012
"The first color entry in the Poisonous Seductress series, what it lacks in the class and style of the first film, it makes up by cranking up the levels of sleaze and violence. Junko Miyazono is beautiful and skilful with her sword, and determined to get her bloody revenge. Reiko Oshida plays the perkiest and cutest lady ninja I've ever seen (and I've seen plenty). Add in a cameo by Tomisaburo Wakayama as a bounty hunter with a lightning fast blade and you have yourself a winner, folks."
75 74% Snowpiercer (2014) - Jan 26, 2015
"A sudden ice age reduces humanity to a small number of people aboard a high tech super train, endlessly circling the dead planet. This film takes a ludicrous premise and commits to it completely with an insane abandon that immediately brings Terry Gilliam to mind. The plot twist is an obvious one and the ending is senseless, but it serves up more than enough visual surprises and bloody action to satisfy. Tilda Swinton steals the first half of the movie with a hilarious performance."
50 26% Fantasy Mission Force (1982) - Aug 13, 2007
"This bizarre flick appears to have been filmed without any sort of script, and it plumbs all kinds of depths for a nonstop barrage of strangeness. It truly has to be seen to be believed. You might regret it, but you'll never forget it."