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TheDenizen

Celluloid Junkie - 2966 Rankings

Member Since: Apr 13, 2006

Location: Toronto, Canada

Age: 41

Gender: Male

Status: Single

Bio: I watch Kung Fu, Samurai, Exploitation, Action, Western, and Horror flicks. I can enjoy the classics, but I especially love low budget garbage.

more Featured Reviews
90 T10 Highlander (1986) - Aug 13, 2007
"Clancy Brown with a massive claymore, Sean Connery trying to play a Spaniard and Christopher Lambert trying to play a Scotsman. Classic 80s cheese with some entertaining neck-severing action."
40 T2 Collateral Damage (2002) - Aug 13, 2007
"I'd pay just about anything to hear Arnold attempting to pronounce the title of this grim and crappy action film."
85 T10 Gangs of New York (2002) - Feb 06, 2007
"Pretty awesome except for Cameron Diaz's pointless character and her frankly laughable attempts at an accent."
60 T5 Ironmaster (1983) - May 09, 2013
"A tribe of stone age cavemen figure out how to make iron swords, and immediately begin subjugating the other primitive tribes in the valley. So, a caveman finds a lump of metal after a volcanic eruption, and somehow intuits the process of smelting iron and crafting swords (don't ask where they get the metal tools to work the forge)? Suuuure. Unbelievably dumb and cheesy, but it's still strangely entertaining to watch George Eastman rampaging around like a madman wearing a severed lion's head."
80 T9 Legend (1985) - Aug 13, 2007
"It's the most enjoyable movie Tom Cruise has ever been in, and Tim Curry is the best Satan in the history of film."
60 T5 Saving Private Ryan (1998) - Jun 03, 2009
"Awesome start, then the rest is trite and 100% predictable. At least Vin Diesel dies horribly."
60 T5 Prince of Darkness (1987) - Aug 13, 2007
"Alice Cooper shoves a bicycle through a guy. That makes a pretty good movie in my book."
10 T1 The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975) - Aug 13, 2007
"This isn't camp, it's crap. While I am not completely immune to the obvious appeal of Tim Curry in drag, this film is pretty much unwatchable dreck with horrible music blaring throughout."
60 T5 The Scorpion King (2002) - Aug 13, 2007
"These Mummy flicks were all pretty goofy, but this was the best of them IMO. This was the flick that made people think Dwayne Johnson could be the next Stallone...but then he went and made crap like Be Cool and the Tooth Fairy. For shame, Dyawne."
75 T8 The Seventh Curse (1986) - Apr 22, 2010
"Silly action/comedy/horror hybrid of the type only made in Hong Kong with an awesome cast of actors and kung fu stars. Chin Siu-Ho gets mixed up with the shady Worm Clan and is afflicted with a deadly blood curse, and the only cure is to eat the eyes of a giant Buddha statue in a temple guarded by an army of fanatics ...It's a manic jungle adventure with black magic, demons, gore, zombies, machine guns and kung fu. Fucking sweet."