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TheDenizen

Celluloid Junkie - 3075 Film Ratings

Member Since: Apr 13, 2006

Location: Toronto, Canada

Age: 44

Gender: Male

Status: Single

Bio: I watch Kung Fu, Samurai, Exploitation, Action, Western, and Horror flicks. I can enjoy the classics, but I especially love low budget garbage.
more Featured Reviews
70 63% Virgins from Hell (1987) - Sep 19, 2009
"Low on sleaze but high on WTF-factor. The bad guy's lair has pink shag carpeting. ON THE WALLS."
85 91% Valhalla Rising (2010) - Jan 04, 2013
"A mute Viking warrior and a young boy go on an existential journey to hell in this dark and mesmerizing flick by Nicolas Winding Refn. Brutally violent and achingly beautiful in equal doses, drenched in ominous music and intense bursts of color. It reminded me a lot of Aguirre the Wrath of God, but instead of Klaus Kinski lurching around like a goon, you get Mads Mikkelsen brandishing an axe and staring a hole through one motherfucker after another. Epic."
80 84% Jeans Blues: No Future (1974) - Sep 20, 2012
"It's a couple on a violent crime spree, but I think it's a little simplistic to call it the Japanese Bonnie & Clyde. B&C were thrillseekers thumbing their noses at the authorities, but the couple in this film are strangers thrust together by circumstance, their motives are much more personal, and their mood is much bleaker. Most of the Pinky Violence films are colorful and fun, but Meiko Kaji's mask of hopelessness makes Jeans Blues an utterly nihilistic treat. No future, indeed."
60 40% The Ref (1994) - Aug 14, 2007
"Remember those couple of years when Denis Leary seemed relevant?"
75 74% Killing Zoe (1994) - Jul 26, 2009
"An American safecracker teams up with some French junkies to rob a bank. The heist part of this movie is good, but the best part is the drug fueled bender the night before the job. "If you smoke this, you will feel as if the world is inside a bubble of glass, and you are rubbing up against it like a bad windshield wiper." Awesome. There's a sex scene that is crosscut with short clips from Nosferatu which is cool. Plus, anything with Julie Delpy's tits is OK by me."
60 40% They Eat Scum (1979) - Jan 18, 2013
"This no-budget DIY film from Nick Zedd is absolutely mental. It's technically a total mess, but it's a wild ride with non-stop abrasive insanity. Hairy transvestites and rabid poodles? Sure. Cannibalistic punk rockers mutilating their own genitals? Why not? A woman being force fed a live rat? Gross, but fascinating. A guy blowing his dog? Er, well that's kinda weird....an army of disco obsessed mutants led by a giant cockroach? OK seriously, WTF? "
1% My Girl (1991) - Aug 14, 2007
"Macaulay Culkin dying is the only good thing that happens in this movie."
30 11% Effects (1980) - Jul 16, 2013
"A crew making a horror movie on location in a house are secretly being filmed by the director, who is planning to kill them and release an authentic snuff film. Dreary, obvious stuff that drags agonizingly slowly for the entire run time, with zero suspense or real action. Also, you'd expect that a movie called "Effects" starring Tom Savini would have some awesome gore, but even that is sorely lacking in both quantity and quality. A real disappointment."
40 17% Robowar (1988) - Dec 15, 2010
"Shitty Predator knockoff which features a team of doofus mercenaries who plunge into an unnamed jungle to contain a military cyborg that has gone haywire and started butchering people with its laser cannon. It features the same POV shots as Predator, but the images are such grainy, pixelated messes that it's a wonder the cyborg can move, let alone lock on targets. 90 minutes of wretched actors shooting machine guns at bushes."
90 95% Crank (2006) - Jan 18, 2007
"A rip-roaring but incredibly stupid good time. Nonstop action and violence, with no foolish "story" or "character development" bullshit to get in the way of the tits and the badassery."