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TheDenizen

Celluloid Junkie - 2966 Rankings

Member Since: Apr 13, 2006

Location: Toronto, Canada

Age: 41

Gender: Male

Status: Single

Bio: I watch Kung Fu, Samurai, Exploitation, Action, Western, and Horror flicks. I can enjoy the classics, but I especially love low budget garbage.

more Featured Reviews
T1 Rollerball (2002) - Aug 13, 2007
"James Caan needs to find the people responsible for this and dropkick them with rollerskates on. Those big, clunky 70's ones, not these pissy little rollerblades."
75 T8 Perawan rimba (1983) - Mar 04, 2010
"90 minutes of ridiculous kung fu, cheesy black magic and gory cannibal action that ends up with with every single person in the film but two horribly killed. Awesome."
10 T1 Newsies (1992) - Aug 13, 2007
"A musical about angry paperboys at the turn of the 20th century. Who in the hell thought this material would be interesting in the slightest?"
50 T3 One Crazy Summer (1986) - May 15, 2008
"The mid 80s gave us all sorts of these quirky romantic comedies starring John Cusack. I'm not really sure why, because none of them were any good."
55 T4 Payback (1999) - Dec 15, 2012
"Third rate rehash of Point Blank. It's not terrible, and has some decent action...but it comes nowhere close to the power of the original film. Allow me to say this with some degree of finality: Mel Gibson is no Lee Marvin."
T1 Pixels (2015) - Aug 05, 2015
"Well, I've watched an awful lot of bad movies in the last 25 years, but Pixels will go down as the film that finally pushed me over the edge. I will never again spend a single penny of real money on anything even tangentially related to Adam Sandler. What a talentless, shameless sack. I'd write an essay about how embarrassingly bad this movie is, but it doesn't deserve any more of my time than I've already wasted on it."
65 T6 Lorna, the Exorcist (1974) - Dec 20, 2010
"I've heard Jess Franco's films of the mid 70's described as "Lina Romay and friends visit the gynecologist", and that's pretty much it. Romay is young and sexy, and Franco lets the camera linger on her naked form for extended takes. Who cares if it doesn't really make sense? You've got to love a movie that starts with an eight minute lesbian sex scene."
70 T7 Blow (2001) - Apr 08, 2008
"Really pretty good until the last 20 minutes, which were interminably awful. Oh, and Penelope Cruz is freakishly ugly, she looks like some kind of mutant fish."
30 T2 Patch Adams (1998) - Aug 13, 2007
"Shamefully bad melodrama that expects us to believe that kids would actually laugh at Robin Williams in a clown nose instead of recoiling in terror."
65 T6 Let Me In (2010) - Jul 26, 2011
"Neutered version of the original film that panders to audiences too lazy to read subtitles. It's OK, but completely lacking subtlety...it's just not as good as the real thing."