TimeCapsule

timecapsule
Cinema Addict - 1033 Film Ratings
Member Since: 12 Feb 2017
Location: NJ, USA
TCI: not enough ratings
Films in Common: 0
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28 15% Simon Sez (1999) - Rated 12 Apr 2021
"Although certainly nowhere near the fun mess that was "Double Team"(1997), I found all the terrible comedy in this quasi-not-sequel far more boring than infuriating. While probably the byproduct of lowering my expectations for the movie to subterranean levels, I didn't really hate the movie like I thought I would. However also, while I personally don't really hate Dane Cook, this is easily his schtick at its absolute worse. Still, there's a compelling train wreck like quality to the whole thing."
51 40% Double Team (1997) - Rated 12 Apr 2021
"Not since "Mac and Me"(1988) has "Coke-a-Cola"TM proved to be the real MVP by saving the day for our heroes. Similarly just like "Mac and Me", I'm forced to ask myself what exactly is this movie? How do I even rate this terrible trash? 2/3 of this movie is this wonky yet watchable cliché action/spy-thriller mess, however the last 1/3 of the film turns into a delightfully terrible action/comedy disaster. Which thanks to an exploding tiger, may just be one of the greatest endings in movie history"
32 18% Revenge of the Boarding School Dropouts (2009) - Rated 21 Mar 2021
"Although while at this point it may be the result of a bit of stockholm syndrome, this follow-up sequel to terrible snowboarding comedy "Shred"(2008), was surprisingly almost slightly watchable. However with that said, both are still a serious waste of time that only hardcore snowboarding fans should even bother watching. At least this one felt more like a real "movie", with like characters, and like a story. Although I use all those words very loosely, and would not recommend you watch it."
22 9% Shred (2008) - Rated 21 Mar 2021
"David Mitchell just cannot be stopped from seemingly living out his ski bum dreams through making these ski/snowboarding "comedy" "movies". But why should he? Seemingly he's figured some Adam Sandler type movie production scam, except instead of getting paid to go on vacation with his friends and family, every couple of years the Canadian government funds his poor excuse to spend a few weeks out on the slopes fantasizing about being a ski/snowboarding bum. I just wish the "movies" were any good."
76 77% Out Cold (2001) - Rated 21 Mar 2021
"Maybe the best ski/snowboarding sex comedy movie ever...? I'm hard pressed to think of a better one. However, that might be more on account that the small handful of these movies that were made are mostly garbage, so there really isn't a lot of competition. Still, in the gross-out sex-comedy glut of the early 00s, this tongue-in-cheek 80's/90's ski movie/"Casablanca"(1942) parody, is a surprisingly solid watch."
50 39% Johnny Tsunami (1999) - Rated 21 Mar 2021
"This Disney channel movie was surprisingly boring compared to how I remembered it being as a kid. Less of a surfing/snowboarding kids' action/comedy, and more of a Hallmark movie for kids. There's just so much family/teen/racial/class drama in this movie. However like G-rated "drama", where there's really nothing obviously unhealthy about any of it, and people just eventually have an unnatural and open conversation to address their issues, or they just have a snowboarding competition, of course."
22 9% Snowboard Academy (1996) - Rated 21 Mar 2021
"Some recognizable names/faces can't stop this snowboarding/ski comedy slog from just repeatedly falling on its face as it tumbles down the mountain of mediocrity into the abyss of forgettable trash. The cliché sabotage-to-steal-control-of-the-mountain-plot gets updated with a 90's aesthetic of snowboarders vs. skiers, while Jim Varney runs around improvising jokes as a legally distinct, not-"Ernest", but "Ernest-like" character, to sadly diminishing returns throughout this unfunny/boring movie."
28 15% Ski Hard (1995) - Rated 21 Mar 2021
"After "Ski School 2"(1994) I learned to lower my expectations even further for another one of these David Mitchell ski comedies. Honestly, that's probably why I didn't really hate this ridiculously juvenile broad ski comedy, that, or my previously noted bad taste in comedy. However, this wasn't really the ski party/sex-comedy of the "Ski School"(1990) or "Hot Dog...The Movie"(1984), but instead more of a cartoonishly juvenile slapstick affair of boogers, piss, and farts for the whole family."
30 16% Ski School 2 (1994) - Rated 21 Mar 2021
"Unfortunately, this follow-up to the first "Ski School"(1990) was a real noticeable drop in quality. David Mitchell is like a terrible director, but a capable producer, working the Canadian tax schemes to "shoot the rodeo" of real ski competitions and then just grafts a terrible sex comedy together in the edit. Honestly, you should just watch the episode of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" called "The Gang Hits the Slopes", for a much better follow-up to the original Canadian ski sex comedy."
49 38% Ski School (1991) - Rated 21 Mar 2021
"While personally, I think I might prefer the sillier antics of the recognizable faces in "Ski Patrol"(1990), this behind-the-times, Canadian knockoff of "Hot Dog...The Movie"(1984), might actually be the better of the two T&A heavy 80's/90's ski sex-comedies, but that doesn't mean this movie isn't janky as fuck. However, out of all the David Mitchell ski comedies I've recently subjected myself to, this corny fluorescent turd was easily the most charming of all these second rate ski comedies."