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Tripwyre

Cinema Addict - 1203 Film Ratings

Member Since: Mar 26, 2007

Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

more Featured Reviews
4% The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill But Came Down a Mountain (1995) - Dec 30, 2008
"When I was a kid it was a rare treat to ride on an airplane, and as a young and aspiring film buff, I looked forward to the in-flight movie the most. Imagine my complete dismay at having to sit through this craptastrophe as the in-flight entertainment not once, but TWICE. Unbelievably dull and utterly pointless, I hate this movie more than you know, and wouldn't wish watching it on anyone."
18 9% Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (2009) - Mar 10, 2009
"Spectacularly bad. The worst movie I've seen in theatres since Fantastic 4. The script is inconcievably poor, and lazy. Superfluous narration, kung fu fight, atrocious dialog, kung fu fight, EVEN MORE NARRATION! If you must see this, it is to witness Chris Klein, acting like Christian Slater would if he'd taken lessons from David Caruso. To her credit, Kreuk isn't half bad, but Shou gets a laugh from every scene (not on purpose), and the effects budget is cheap cheap cheap. Terrible, but funny."
3% The Core (2003) - Jun 12, 2009
"Back when I worked in the video store, we'd get to pick which movies to play in the store. Occasionally we'd pass the time by trying to out-stupid each other with our selections, most of which came out of the Sci-Fi/Fantasy section. You may be wondering, what relevance does this have to The Core? Well, picking this movie was like bringing a nuclear bomb to a game of rock-paper-scissors. It's the game-breaker. There is no out-stupiding this movie."
91 92% The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004) - May 19, 2009
""Let me tell you about my ship." There is so much to love about this movie. On top of the typical Anderson quirks and dry wit, we have a GREAT cast, Henry Selick providing stop-motion sealife, Seu Jorge rocking Bowie in Portuguese, and an end-credits sequence lifted straight out of Buckaroo Banzai (complete with Jeff Goldblum!). It's about daddy issues of course, but at its heart it is a loving ode to the adventure of filmmaking. Anderson's funniest, and I tear up at the finale every time."
16 8% Aladdin: The Return of Jafar (1994) - Jan 18, 2010
"As a child I remember being quite upset the day my VCR ate this tape (and subsequently died). Something about Genie-Jafar was unspeakably awesome to young me. Retrospectively, I mourn the loss of my VCR. It killed itself instead of finishing this, using its last breath to mangle the film forever. It was trying to protect me."
73 62% X-Men (2000) - Jan 08, 2009
"Bonus points for being the trendsetter. Without the success of this film, it's unlikely we see a comic book revival and a handful of new superhero films vying for our summer dollars every year. At least not in the same way. While the script is not where it should be, Singer and the strong cast he's assembled give the movie its X-factor (forgive me). What happens to Halle Berry's career when she reads the shittiest dialog ever? The same thing that happens to everyone else. X2's way better. 3? No."
87 87% American Splendor (2003) - Mar 19, 2008
"Seemlessly blends animated versions of Pekar's strips with interviews from the man himself, all integrated into the film starring Giamatti and Davis. Directors Berman and Pulcini have made a creative and unique work like nothing you've ever seen. It works as a documentary, a bio-pic, and a tragicomedy. Giamatti shows us Pekar as a man self-aware -- he knows his life is absurd, and he strikes a half-grin before saying things, the cogs in his head already working them into Splendor's next issue."
44 26% Green Lantern (2011) - Jun 23, 2011
""No one knows what this threat might be. It could be anything. Abin Sur thought he knew what it was. His final message said only: 'It's Parallax.'" Holy shit this movie was hilarious. I've never been so tempted to talk/riff in a theatre ("Good job Hal, we were just here watching the whole time."). It doesn't deserve the critical thrashing, but it's not very good either. Tough to imagine a space-heavy sequel when this Earthbound set-up was so incredibly costly. The credits stinger makes no sense."
16 8% Double Jeopardy (1999) - Jun 06, 2009
"I think Ashley Judd is stuck in some sort of timeloop in the late 90s. It would explain why a) she disappeared, and b) every few years, another piece of crap legal thriller from the 90s shows up with her face on it. A lot of this was filmed locally, including a car chase that's about a 3min walk away from my house. That's the main reason I watched the whole thing. It has a clever concept but it's just such a piece of shit. I am glad though that Tommy Lee Jones has moved on from movies like this."
92 93% The Bourne Supremacy (2004) - Nov 17, 2008
"Stylistically, the most influential film of this decade. Liman's Bourne was good entertainment, but Greengrass brings a strong sense of morality to his sequels that elevate them from solid action flicks to excellent films. It takes guts to end a balls-out action movie with a quiet apology, and the Moscow chase preceding it is one of the best ever put to film. The shakycam works, as Greengrass knows how to do it right, adding urgency and danger without losing track of what's actually happening."