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Tripwyre

Cinema Addict - 1203 Film Ratings

Member Since: Mar 26, 2007

Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

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19 10% Armageddon (1998) - Nov 29, 2008
"It's hilarious to me that NASA thought it would be easier to train oil riggers to be astronauts than astronauts to be oil riggers. How do we save the world from imminent destruction? DRILL BABY, DRILL! The worst part of all this -- other than, well, all of it -- is just how many talented actors are on-board for this shitfest. A movie with this cast and this concept could be inconcievably awesome, but this script is non-stop fail. Hell, Deep Impact is better than this."
86 85% Black Dynamite (2009) - Aug 01, 2011
""But Black Dynamite, I sell drugs to the community!" A master-work of satire, Black Dynamite does an excellent job of purposefully making mistakes while still having them seem like honest gaffs. This takes skill. As a send-up of blaxploitation films, the movie doesn't just spoof the genre, it's also a stand-out example of it. For as funny a film this is -- and it's the most quotable comedy in years -- you really believe that Black Dynamite is one truly bad-ass mothafucka. DY-NO-MITE! DY-NO-MITE!"
44 26% Green Lantern (2011) - Jun 23, 2011
""No one knows what this threat might be. It could be anything. Abin Sur thought he knew what it was. His final message said only: 'It's Parallax.'" Holy shit this movie was hilarious. I've never been so tempted to talk/riff in a theatre ("Good job Hal, we were just here watching the whole time."). It doesn't deserve the critical thrashing, but it's not very good either. Tough to imagine a space-heavy sequel when this Earthbound set-up was so incredibly costly. The credits stinger makes no sense."
4% The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill But Came Down a Mountain (1995) - Dec 30, 2008
"When I was a kid it was a rare treat to ride on an airplane, and as a young and aspiring film buff, I looked forward to the in-flight movie the most. Imagine my complete dismay at having to sit through this craptastrophe as the in-flight entertainment not once, but TWICE. Unbelievably dull and utterly pointless, I hate this movie more than you know, and wouldn't wish watching it on anyone."
78 71% GoldenEye (1995) - Apr 17, 2008
"Written as a star vehicle for Timothy Dalton, the plot panders to the more serious approach he brought to the role. That's probably why this is the only Brosnan-led Bond film that isn't total garbage (which isn't to say Brosnan wasn't a good Bond, he was. He was just never given much to work with). Campbell sours things a bit with attempts at over-the-top camp comedy, and just a terribly cheap soundtrack, but overall this is a great globe-trotting adventure. The N64 game is better, however."
37 20% Red Dawn (2012) - Dec 13, 2012
"Not as excruciating as I had thought it might be. ... How's that for a quote on the DVD? Of course it's not very good, and the fact that it was shelved for two years so they could change the foreign menace from China to North Korea makes the movie completely preposterous. But there are still Chinese symbols all over the film -- the edits weren't that thorough, apparently. If you're going to make race-baiting Asian Fear porn (don't Google this), at least have the courage of your convictions."
3% Evan Almighty (2007) - Mar 18, 2008
"Painful. Another Daily Show alumnus shows up as the news anchor in this one: Ed Helms. According to IMDb, his character's name was apparently Ed Carson. I'm now waiting on Ed Almighty to round out the trilogy. In the spirit of this sequel, it will be about a man who leaves the news after 30 seconds to become an astronaut who talks with God. There will be talks of actually sending Helms and Freeman into space (for the sake of realism), and the movie should cost more than $500 million to make. [Read Full Review]"
56 36% The Jacket (2005) - Dec 31, 2008
"Intoxicating nonsense, buoyed by a slew of solid performances from a stacked cast. You really have to wonder what drew this much talent to such a bizarre script, but Kristofferson, Craig and Leigh are all quite effective in minor roles. Knightley's performance is somewhat flat, but at least she shows her tits (also somewhat flat). Luckily Brody is great in a role that's well outside his comfort zone. It's a good enough movie, but despite how 'different' it is, nothing really makes it stand out."
10 5% Center Stage (2000) - Mar 18, 2008
"You've got to hand it to Peter Gallagher's eyebrows. They're the most expressive thing in this movie."
3% The Core (2003) - Jun 12, 2009
"Back when I worked in the video store, we'd get to pick which movies to play in the store. Occasionally we'd pass the time by trying to out-stupid each other with our selections, most of which came out of the Sci-Fi/Fantasy section. You may be wondering, what relevance does this have to The Core? Well, picking this movie was like bringing a nuclear bomb to a game of rock-paper-scissors. It's the game-breaker. There is no out-stupiding this movie."