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Film Freak - 935 Film Ratings

Member Since: Mar 26, 2007

Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

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91 92% Videodrome (1983) - Jan 12, 2009
"Cronenberg is the master of taking the two things everyone loves watching -- sex and violence -- and combining them in such a way that is utterly repulsive. He plays them off each other in nearly all of his films, but this is like his Masters Thesis. The film is a mindfuck like none other, but its nonsense packs purpose and a scornful (but curious) message about the heart of television and media. Iconic imagery. That many of its cynical prophecies have come true only makes it more timeless."
78 70% GoldenEye (1995) - Apr 17, 2008
"Written as a star vehicle for Timothy Dalton, the plot panders to the more serious approach he brought to the role. That's probably why this is the only Brosnan-led Bond film that isn't total garbage (which isn't to say Brosnan wasn't a good Bond, he was. He was just never given much to work with). Campbell sours things a bit with attempts at over-the-top camp comedy, and just a terribly cheap soundtrack, but overall this is a great globe-trotting adventure. The N64 game is better, however."
10 6% Center Stage (2000) - Mar 18, 2008
"You've got to hand it to Peter Gallagher's eyebrows. They're the most expressive thing in this movie."
6% The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill But Came Down a Mountain (1995) - Dec 30, 2008
"When I was a kid it was a rare treat to ride on an airplane, and as a young and aspiring film buff, I looked forward to the in-flight movie the most. Imagine my complete dismay at having to sit through this craptastrophe as the in-flight entertainment not once, but TWICE. Unbelievably dull and utterly pointless, I hate this movie more than you know, and wouldn't wish watching it on anyone."
16 9% Aladdin: The Return of Jafar (1994) - Jan 18, 2010
"As a child I remember being quite upset the day my VCR ate this tape (and subsequently died). Something about Genie-Jafar was unspeakably awesome to young me. Retrospectively, I mourn the loss of my VCR. It killed itself instead of finishing this, using its last breath to mangle the film forever. It was trying to protect me."
73 61% X-Men (2000) - Jan 08, 2009
"Bonus points for being the trendsetter. Without the success of this film, it's unlikely we see a comic book revival and a handful of new superhero films vying for our summer dollars every year. At least not in the same way. While the script is not where it should be, Singer and the strong cast he's assembled give the movie its X-factor (forgive me). What happens to Halle Berry's career when she reads the shittiest dialog ever? The same thing that happens to everyone else. X2's way better. 3? No."
19 11% Armageddon (1998) - Nov 29, 2008
"It's hilarious to me that NASA thought it would be easier to train oil riggers to be astronauts than astronauts to be oil riggers. How do we save the world from imminent destruction? DRILL BABY, DRILL! The worst part of all this -- other than, well, all of it -- is just how many talented actors are on-board for this shitfest. A movie with this cast and this concept could be inconcievably awesome, but this script is non-stop fail. Hell, Deep Impact is better than this."
75 64% Crank (2006) - Aug 16, 2009
"A huge surprise. I rolled my eyes at the very idea of the film, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy the hell out of it. Like their drugged-up hero, Neveldine & Taylor are on a mission and they will not roll over and die until it's done. That mission is to save the Big Dumb Actioner, a genre that has lost its way in the age of Michael Bay. The only good action these days comes from serious sources like the Bourne films, but these guys are doing their damnedest to correct that. A fine debut."
44 25% Green Lantern (2011) - Jun 23, 2011
""No one knows what this threat might be. It could be anything. Abin Sur thought he knew what it was. His final message said only: 'It's Parallax.'" Holy shit this movie was hilarious. I've never been so tempted to talk/riff in a theatre ("Good job Hal, we were just here watching the whole time."). It doesn't deserve the critical thrashing, but it's not very good either. Tough to imagine a space-heavy sequel when this Earthbound set-up was so incredibly costly. The credits stinger makes no sense."
60 40% Interview with the Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles (1994) - May 15, 2009
"Here's the thing about this movie: I've seen it four or five times, which should leave me more than qualified to review it. Except every time I go back to watch it again it's because I can no longer remember a damn thing about it, other than that it has a lot of famous people in it and I seem to remember it being decently good. But how good could it possibly be if I never remember? It's...pretty okay. Kinda gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that."