Celluloid Junkie - 2950 Rankings
Member Since: Jun 26, 2006
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|2 T2||King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (2017) - Sep 16, 2017
"This movie is such a fucking headache. I'm not even sure if the screenplay is that bad or anything but - grumpy old man as I've become in the wizened age of my early 30s - I just found the way it was shot and edited so abrasive.I'm not into this whole punk rock Camelot shit. Also, the scene where a giant CGI snake bursts into the throne room could be the most inane film scene of 2017."
|4 T5||Everything, Everything (2017) - Sep 14, 2017
"Well first off, crucially, allow me to point out that Amandla Stenberg is a babe in this movie. Total smokeshow. Not difficult to believe the "love at first sight" from the guy's side of things whatsoever. Beyond that, the film is not unlikable, though so hard to buy into at many points (see the sequence where two apparently unemployed teenagers buy plane tickets for a fucking Hawaiian vacation complete with nice hotel and rental car - uh huh). Dumb albeit mildly charming twee fluff."
|7 T9||It (2017) - Sep 10, 2017
"Though the framework may be that of scary gory R-rated horror, the engine under the hood is 100% that of kids-go-on-an-adventure flicks in the spirit of E.T., The Goonies, Monster Squad and Super 8, and in that vein it does a damn good job giving us a likable crew of little brats and putting them through the ringer. Some of the actual horror stuff can be a little cheesy/generic. But the mood, dialogue, sense of adventure are all so good as to easily make up for that and then some."
|4 T5||It (1990) - Sep 10, 2017
"Just can't escape its own TV movie cheesiness. There's stuff to admire in its focus on characterization, some of the kids' interactions and Tim Curry himself as Pennywise the Dancing Clown, but so much of it just comes across as laughable, right up through that space spider fight at the end that earns a genuine cringe of embarrassment that the filmmakers had to put their name to that."
|6 T7||Click (2006) - Sep 10, 2017
"I actually found this surprisingly interesting, kind of like a Twilight Zone episode with an Adam Sandler comedy skin wrapped over it. There's some real sci-fi horror to the idea of slingshotting erratically through your perceived life like this and the film doesn't shy away from that. Then there's some dumb shit with farts and hits in the balls and dogs humping stuff. Hey, it's still Sandler."
|3 T3||The Watcher in the Woods (1980) - Sep 10, 2017
"Not especially spooky; most mediocre performances."
|5 T6||An American Tail: The Treasure of Manhattan Island (1998) - Sep 05, 2017
"Weirdly darker than you would expect for a late-90s direct-to-video mouse cartoon, touching on themes of racism, mob mentality, corporate greed, threatened genocide, and even featuring a bona fide attempted lynching. I put it on to have something brainless to work out to and got shockingly into it. There's some Gangs of New York shit going on in this flick. Unfortunately, the dark buildup kind of fizzles out at the end when the good guys defeat the bad guys by pelting them with tomatoes."
|8 T10||South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut (1999) - Sep 05, 2017
"Has aged very well over the last twenty-ish years, in terms of pure humor value, its intensely memorable earwormy songs (can anyone who's seen this film not sing the melody of "Uncle Fucka"?) and in its satirical bite and pro-free speech, anti-censorship stance. Moreso than The Simpsons movie, which doesn't really stand apart too memorably from its parent series, this film is quite possibly the best South Park "episode" ever."
|4 T5||The Defenders (2017) - Aug 31, 2017
"The more I reflect on this the more I have to conclude it a disappointment after three years and 65 TV episodes spent building up to it. This just isn't as thrilling, isn't as epic, isn't as climactic as what any of us wanted before its debut. Even the great Sigourney Weaver's villain and the fight scenes - so great in Daredevil - ultimately underwhelm. The high points of this series basically begin and end with it being cool seeing all these heroes and their supporting casts come together."
|5 T6||The Belko Experiment (2017) - Aug 31, 2017
"I gotta say I just kinda inherently love this sick gory twisted Battle Royale type shit, so I definitely can't hate this film. It runs through a pretty cliché and predictable version of that kind of story though."