Celluloid Junkie - 2886 Rankings
Member Since: Jun 26, 2006
Bio: I like all kinds of movies, with a slight bias towards comedies, thrillers, geeky shit (sci-fi / fantasy / superheroes), and James Bond. Outside of movies I like politics, cats, Mexican food, retro video games, New York City, and the TV show Community. I dislike lizards, peanut butter, and Lars von Trier.
My blog: http://timstvtalk.blogspot.com
|7 T9||Kong: Skull Island (2017) - Mar 20, 2017
"Haha, this is just straight-up Apocalypse Now with giant monsters! I was extremely agnostic towards the 2014 Godzilla (and this film walking in, for the record) and it did a fine job winning me over. Incredibly solid cast playing mostly bland characters, though John C. Reilly does get to have some fun. The CGI monsters occasionally feel weightless, but overall this film did a better job than anything else in years at taking me on a real ADVENTURE that evoked the feel of classic Indiana Jones."
|2 T2||Safe Haven (2013) - Mar 20, 2017
"Arguably starts out a little better than most Sparks movies as it actually kind of has a fugitive thing going on and a conflict at its center, but it nicely dumbs itself up by the end, with a concluding Sixth Sense twist that'll have you holding your arms out and shouting "WHAT?!" Also, why no tasteful nudity in these cheesy romance flicks? Missin' the 70s and 80s."
|4 T5||King Kong (1976) - Mar 15, 2017
"First off, Jessica Lange in this movie, holy fucking shit, I don't know that I've seen many hotter onscreen woman in my entire life. I was just totally in love. Yes, I'm bumping my score solely on account of this - I'm that shallow. I also enjoyed the kitschiness of the 70s special effects and John Barry's Bond-esque score. On pretty much all levels beyond those it's vastly inferior to the 1933 original and has limited artistic merit. Amusing, though. Creepy Kong rapeface!"
|6 T7||Logan (2017) - Mar 15, 2017
"Enjoyed it, though the sheer hyperbole of its reception is starting to make me feel like it's already becoming just a touch overrated. Jackman himself is fantastic and the bleak tone and gritty violence and eye for character work are all highly admirable. On the plot level though, I dunno, I found it just a touch thin and the climactic act (while I can admire its restraint) fairly underwhelming."
|1 T1||Shades of Blue (2016) - Mar 15, 2017
"Generic cop crap."
|3 T3||No Tomorrow (2016) - Mar 15, 2017
"Vaguely cute but also kind of twee and irritating, no desire to finish out the season."
|4 T5||Jack Reacher: Never Go Back (2016) - Mar 07, 2017
"Pretty generic thriller stuff; blends invisibly in with a hundred similar films. Which isn't to say that it isn't sometimes mildly enjoyable in ways akin to those films, but it sure don't stand out from 'em either. Which is surprising coming from Ed Zwick - I haven't liked everything he's done but this may be the first time I've ever found him to be unambitious."
|1 T1||The Choice (2016) - Mar 02, 2017
"Starts out as generally generic Nicholas Sparks schlock then takes a wild, hilarious left turn into something way worse, some fucking car crash coma bullshit, pure uncreative soap opera drivel. These Sparks flicks always have some real boring sex scenes, what's a guy gotta do to get a little soft core nudity to liven this shit up?!"
|0 T1||Inferno (2016) - Mar 01, 2017
"Holy shit, Ron Howard, what happened?! I've watched Willow a hundred-plus times, but Ron just laid a complete, complete goose egg here. This is not just bad, it's one of the very worst wide theatrical release films of THIS ENTIRE DECADE. This is top to bottom incompetent filmmaking. Utterly godawful on every level. Swap Tom Hanks out for fucking Sean Patrick Flannery or something and there's nothing that would indicate this isn't a straight-to-DVD movie. AND NOT EVEN A GOOD STRAIGHT-TO-DVD MOVIE"
|6 T7||Blood Father (2016) - Feb 26, 2017
"Gibson rivals any actor in the last forty years when it comes to sheer magnetic screen presence, and it's great to see him back in this sort of grungy violent affair (you can almost squint and see his somewhat depressed but witty John Link as a Martin Riggs whose life didn't go quite as planned). The movie's main problem may be its low budget - none of the action scenes are exactly spectacular, and you can tell it's a straight-to-video affair - but for straight-to-video it's totally solid."