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Celluloid Junkie - 3028 Film Rankings

Member Since: Jun 26, 2006

more Recent Rankings
6 Black Panther (2018) - Feb 24, 2018
"For me the film's weakness may be T'Challa himself, who kind of ends up getting lost in his own movie, Boseman's performance overshadowed by more interesting others in virtually every scene. Michael B. Jordan as Killmonger clearly steals the show. The movie has a ton of fun genre-hopping though, Star Wars-influenced in much of its sets and design and technology, turning into James Bond for a while in the middle, and then becoming African Game of Thrones/Lord of the Rings toward the end."
1 Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life (2003) - Feb 23, 2018
"Keep an eye out for the jaw-dropping moment where Lara punches a CGI shark in the face: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9z6_GAPIkTU&t=1m34s"
2 Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001) - Feb 20, 2018
"Makes The Mummy look like Raiders of the Lost Ark. 2000-'03 or so were such a rough patch for mainstream action flicks: this and its sequel, Charlie's Angels 1&2, M:I2, 2 Fast 2 Furious, Shaft, Mummy Returns/Scorpion King, Jurassic 3, XXX, Gone in 60, Resident Evil, Time Machine, Daredevil, Paycheck, Matrix sequels, etc. Bless Lord of the Rings, Kill Bill, Spider-Man, Bourne Identity and Pirates of the Caribbean for keeping us sane in that stretch."
4 Cars 3 (2017) - Feb 19, 2018
"Everyone is making the Rocky III comparison, but I'd liken it actually to more of a blended-up medley or aspects from Rocky III in act 1, Rocky Balboa in act 2, and Creed in act 3. Personally I'm not really into the Cars universe that much, don't find the racing especially compelling and find many of its characters on the annoying side. But as far as stuff to throw on to distract the kids for a while you could certainly do worse."
7 Total Recall (1990) - Feb 19, 2018
"Just rewatched for the first time in probably almost twenty years. It will always stand behind Starship Troopers and Robocop for me, but that doesn't mean there isn't something wonderfully nutzoid about this blend of Verhoevenian body horror/gore, twisty thoughtful science fiction, austere otherworld majesty and good old Arnold shoot 'em up action and one-liners. "Hahahaha! You think this is the real Quaid? It is" bang bang bang bang bang"
1 Ouija (2014) - Feb 17, 2018
"I'm not even entirely sure this movie has a bad script so much as it's just very weakly directed, drawing flat and unconvincing performances from its entire cast in a film made up of weak, sterile lighting and camera work and editing and jump scares that would have elicited eye rolls in the 80s. It also might have a bad script too."
6 Only the Brave (2017) - Feb 17, 2018
"I'd have never pegged it as being from the same director as Tron Legacy and Oblivion - where those films felt more sterile and computer generated this one has more of a rugged, sweaty Peter Berg feel to it. It almost leapfrogs through events so quickly it has a vaguely feature-length montage feel to it at points, but in the end there is an undeniable emotional impact."
2 Peelers (2016) - Feb 15, 2018
"I mean it's certainly not good but I only clicked it on Hulu at 1am because I saw the word "strippers" in the plot synopsis and I was hoping to see titties and I did see titties so it's not like I can claim false advertising here "
1 xXx: Return of Xander Cage (2017) - Feb 14, 2018
"Achieves the bold feat of making Vin Diesel's Fast & Furious franchise appear as intellectually complex, emotionally rich, character-driven art house films in comparison. An act of impressive cinematic retardation. Keep an eye out for the scenes where Xander Cage uses a motorcycle to perform kung fu (including a full midair backwards somersault solely to uppercut someone with the front wheel) and where a jumbo jet pulled into a full vertical dive takes over five minutes to hit the ground. "
2 Geostorm (2017) - Feb 12, 2018
"when i'm watching a movie to see awesomely terribad CGI of tsunamis and infernos and tornados destroying the earth one of the things i usually say to myself is "i wish this movie had a political thriller subplot about an attempted coup against the president""