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Celluloid Junkie - 2863 Rankings

Member Since: Jun 26, 2006

Bio: I like all kinds of movies, with a slight bias towards comedies, thrillers, geeky shit (sci-fi / fantasy / superheroes), and James Bond. Outside of movies I like politics, cats, Mexican food, retro video games, New York City, and the TV show Community. I dislike lizards, peanut butter, and Lars von Trier.

My blog: http://timstvtalk.blogspot.com

more Recent Rankings
T9 The Boy and the Beast (2015) - Jan 18, 2017
"A bizarre but fascinating mishmash of Narnia-esque alternate world fantasy, teen drama-esque coming of age story, and Karate Kid-esque martial arts training saga. The story is oddly-paced at times, skimming past stuff you'd rather see in more detail and focusing at length on stuff that could be skimmed, and lurching suddenly in very new directions. But overall it's just too fun and different and interesting to ignore. Definitely recommended."
T5 The BFG (2016) - Jan 18, 2017
"I remember ancient chatter about Spielberg taking on the Harry Potter series. Now, things have come full-circle with this film that feels like Spielberg aping Chris Columbus's early Harry Potter direction. There are a few visually and emotionally nice moments - Spielberg is too good to lay a complete goose egg - but it all feels a bit twee, longwinded, and CGI. John Williams also seems to be running on empty, with the film's score basically sounding like early drafts of his Potter cues."
T1 The Legend of Tarzan (2016) - Jan 11, 2017
"This movie lost me early and never got me back. People complain about recent Bond or Batman movies making them too serious and slurping the fun out, but Skyfall and Dark Knight are Austin Powers-esque laugh riots compared to this bleak and bland-ass Tarzan. It also looks like shit. Even my wife, not a student of cinematic technique by any means, was commenting while we watched about the weird desaturation and blue-drenched color schemes. Tonal and visual mess of a film."
T10 The Magicians (2016) - Jan 11, 2017
"I had a blast with the first season of this. It's basically just Harry Potter except with college-aged kids, in America, and with way more swearing and sex, but that actually turns out to be pretty fuckin' fun. In fact if say I liked it more than any of the actual Harry Potter movies. Absolutely watching season 2."
T3 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi (2016) - Jan 11, 2017
"Despite the more serious real world subject matter, this film pretty much just shouted at me in the same way Bay's Transformers movies did. I'm down for some military macho bullshit but once the shooting starts here the entire rest of the film is just a numbing cacophony of shouting and gunfire and explosions and thus unimpactful. Weirdly, I thought the opening and closing minutes with the real-world footage and text were REALLY well-done: Maybe Bay missed his calling as a documentarian."
T3 Jackass: The Movie (2002) - Jan 09, 2017
"If you were to make a, well, TV episode-length supercut of the best stuff in this film (papercuts, alligator in mom's house, airhorn golf course, shitting in a display toilet, snorting wasabi), it would possibly be the best Jackass episode of them all. I have to admit I grew super fatigued with this by the end of even its fairly short feature length runtime though. A lot of the random street pranks and banging around - i.e. most of the film - inspires only the tiniest of chuckles."
T1 Prison Girls (1972) - Jan 05, 2017
"I'd never have believed I could be bored by bomb-ass 70s titties until watching this movie."
T3 Freddy Vs. Jason (2003) - Dec 30, 2016
"(2016 Freddython #8/Jasonthon #11:) Underwhelming, I'm sad to say. For a Freddy vs. Jason movie, there's too much emphasis on a lot of not especially interesting human characters. It's not really tense or scary enough to be a true horror film or funny enough to be a full horror-comedy. I did like the parts where they actually fight! But that's a relatively small stretch of the film. Jason's cornfield party massacre delighted in a small way too."
T7 The Magnificent Seven (2016) - Dec 30, 2016
"This was a slick and fun little Western with likable characters with likable interplay, nice slightly retro cinematography (it reminded me of 1998 Mask of Zorro for some reason, just in its look) and a reasonably exciting and well-designed final battle sequence. It's one the year's slightest entertainments, to be certain, never reaching too deep or doing anything surprising, but if you're looking for a slick amusement, sure. Underused and weak main villain though."
T7 Freaky Friday (2003) - Dec 30, 2016
"This is the rare remake that improves on the original, and is actually a pretty ok young adult flick. The sharper contrast between the mom and daughter (uptight and prim vs. punk rocky) makes their switch more comedically potent, and Mark Waters (who also did Mean Girls) is apparently one of the only directors who can get a competent comedic performance out of Lohan. I mean, I don't want to overstate it - I certainly wasn't laughing my ass off by any means. But it's totally watchable."