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Celluloid Junkie - 2912 Rankings

Member Since: Jun 26, 2006

Bio: I like all kinds of movies, with a slight bias towards comedies, thrillers, geeky shit (sci-fi / fantasy / superheroes), and James Bond. Outside of movies I like politics, cats, Mexican food, retro video games, New York City, and the TV show Community. I dislike lizards, peanut butter, and Lars von Trier.

My blog: http://timstvtalk.blogspot.com

more Recent Rankings
T5 Top Gun (1986) - May 25, 2017
"Probably the most "Reagan-era" movie in existence, with its sleek military fetishism, vaguely homoerotic macho vibe, aviator sunglasses, and propulsive 80s soundtrack. It hasn't really aged especially well and most of the dogfighting stuff isn't terribly compellingly filmed. It's more the character interplay and 80s vibe and soundtrack that entertain. This is the rare film that kind of feels like it's all first act, which is interesting but makes the end feel sudden."
T1 Sliver (1993) - May 24, 2017
"There is something uniquely and fascinatingly trashy about trash movies from the 90s. Pre-90s and post-90s trash just isn't trashy in the same special way. I can't put my finger on it (beyond just pointing my finger at Eszterhas and calling it a day). Honestly I'd be able to overlook that if not for the fact that Sharon Stone's nipples barely have ten seconds of screen time in the entire film; what bullshit from a nominally "erotic" thriller. I've seen PG-13 movies with better nudity."
T3 Guns of the Magnificent Seven (1969) - May 21, 2017
"Probably the best thing about it - and the thing saving it from a red rating from me - is the cinematography and framing, nice and clean and big in scale; a consistently pleasant film to look at. Other than that, yeah, this is hackwork, generic western 101."
T9 The Magnificent Seven (1960) - May 21, 2017
"The Brenner/McQueen/Bronson combo is the pinnacle of easy, confident 60s masculine cool, and the movie just has a pleasant vibe - easy to understand its ubiquitous TV presence - and, drawing from Kurosawa, a good story. I found a few of the titular seven a bit underdeveloped and there's nothing too mindblowing about the action climax - to be honest the 2016 remake probably outdoes it there - but overall a rightful classic that any Western DVD collection looks naked without."
T5 Riverdale (2017) - May 21, 2017
"It has a nice look and atmosphere to it at points, with neon and striking pinks and blues, but overall this is treading teen mystery paths well-worn by the likes of Pretty Little Liars, and the love triangle stuff is insufferable by episode two."
T2 Crisis in Six Scenes (2016) - May 21, 2017
"I remember reading an interview with Tarantino a while back where he said he wanted to retire at a certain age so he didn't find himself making "old man movies." Ol' Quentin didn't know it at the time, but this right here is what he was referring to. This series is doddering and wearing dentures. Woody Allen's time may be passed."
T6 24: Legacy (2016) - May 20, 2017
"24 is probably one of my top ten favorite TV shows ever, so I struggled with a lot of this - it still has that amazing 24 format wit the ticking/beeping clock, percussive score, split screen, twists and deaths and endless forward momentum, but the storytelling is very stupid at points and man oh man oh man oh man does it ever miss Keifer Sutherland as Jack Bauer; no new character compares."
T2 APB (2017) - May 20, 2017
"Gives a fairly unremarkable techie update to the generic cop show format. Nothing worth getting excited over."
T1 Bill Nye Saves The World (2017) - May 20, 2017
"My sex junk is so OH OH OH OH"
T1 I'm Not Ashamed (2016) - May 20, 2017
"Probably my secret favorite thing in the world is terrible Christian movies. I have to watch them all. I should start a blog that just does nothing but review terrible Christian movies. If I was rating this for entertainment factor my score would be WAY higher, but it's clearly a 1 at best for genuine merit. Watch for the scene where Rachel breaks down and begs God to forgive her sinful depravity because she did some FULLY CLOTHED co-ed swimming with friends after dark and drank like one beer."