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|0 0%||Leprechaun 4: In Space (1997) - Mar 19, 2019
"Between Jason X and this I’m kind of baffled how and why “non-scifi horror franchise... IN SPACE!!!!” became a thing for a while there."
|1 4%||Leprechaun 3 (1995) - Mar 19, 2019
"I gave Leprechaun 2 all of a 3 out of 10 so it says a lot that while watching this I was like “Oh man they should have quit while they were ahead.”"
|3 27%||Leprechaun 2 (1994) - Mar 16, 2019
"Bafflingly this film, while still bad on the whole, is decidedly better than the original, far more professional and looking more like a “real” movie in terms of lighting, cinematography, sets, effects, etc. The doubled budget shows. But all that said I mean it’s still a movie about a little super strong dude chasing people around; it has a pretty low quality ceiling."
|1 4%||Leprechaun (1993) - Mar 16, 2019
"I definitely can’t dislike Warwick Davis. It would however be fair to say that I can dislike everything else about this fourth-rate Evil Dead “spooky creature stalks people around a house” amateur hour garbage. I get that it’s a bit tongue in cheek but at certain level of bad that’s just an excuse. Interestingly, despite her future A-list status, Aniston is as bad as everything else in the film, definitely no Langenkamp/Curtis as far as horror “final girls” go."
|4 42%||The Hobbit (1977) - Mar 16, 2019
"There has to be a middle ground between “8-hour CGI nightmare that is mostly made up action movie bullshit” and “70-minute fast-forward through the book that looks like it was animated with pocket change” that we can aim for with a Hobbit movie."
|5 56%||First Man (2018) - Mar 13, 2019
"Most of my score is for the space/rocket/aeronautics sequences, which mix terror and artistry into something that at its best is downright (intentionally) nauseating. Everything outside of those scenes was as dull as dishwater. I could flip on my TV now and find 90s sitcom reruns more dramatically compelling than the household drama in this film. So overall I can respect some scenes but dunno what film douchebags on my Twitter feed crying “masterpiece!” a few months back were on about."
|4 42%||Harry and the Hendersons (1987) - Mar 12, 2019
"Truly, something this bizarre could only come out of the 80s and the age of Alf. Even as little later as the early 90s this wouldn’t fly at all."
|8 92%||The Founder (2016) - Mar 10, 2019
"Great, finely-acted, briskly paced and entertaining story of ownage and backstabbing and corrupt business dealings in the heart of Fatmerica. Basically aims to be to McDonald’s what The Social Network was to Facebook (with the McDonald brothers playing the Eduardo Saverin role), and while it’s not best-of-the-decade tier like TSN I really enjoyed it. Laughed out loud at what an asshole Kroc was at the end lots of times. Even the nagging wife subplot wasn’t too bad."
|2 13%||Saving Mr. Banks (2013) - Mar 10, 2019
"Sigh, fine, I’ll be the bad guy - Emma Thompson’s screen presence is super dull and her whole “le jewel of the silver screen” reputation is wholly unearned; people just let themselves get sucked in on that narrative with these slightly older super posh British actresses. She’s a yawn at the center of this film. Even beyond her the film’s events range from overly saccharine to just made up - I don’t know we needed to see how the sausage was made re: Mary Poppins."
|3 27%||Fences (2016) - Mar 09, 2019
"The first hour and change or so was a pretty good “conversation film” in the spirit of everything from My Dinner With Andre to The Breakfast Club to Linklater’s Before trilogy, with terrific acting - then, as soon as we start bringing in affairs and love children and skipping ahead across the months (once it develops a “plot,” basically) it immediately becomes something more conventionally melodramatic that I was way, way less interested in."