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|6 69%||Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019) - Sep 19, 2019
"This feels like the kind of lowest common denominator shit I should hate - and indeed the CGI monster battling does become pretty monotonous and numbing. But despite this it has enough impressively epic moments and a great (WEIRDLY great for a giant monster smash ‘em up flick) enough cast that I found it cheered me alright."
|2 13%||McLintock! (1963) - Sep 18, 2019
"I’m not particularly clear on what I’ve just watched. I finished this ten minutes ago and if someone were to ask me what the plot was I don’t know I’d really be able to tell them. Basically just kind of like an old west hangout movie with John Wayne, or like watching four or five consecutive episodes of a western-themed sitcom. Bizarre highlight: John Wayne standing a few feet away beaming with a delighted smile as a guy puts Wayne’s adult daughter over his lap and spanks her ass."
|6 69%||Under the Silver Lake (2018) - Sep 11, 2019
"Andrew Garfield has like twenty willing honeys ready to ride his dick in this movie. It’s all pretty inscrutable but weird in a way I had a chuckle at, wrapping a fairly conventional follow-the-clues mystery around a healthy dose of “wtf?” May be the first theatrically released movie ever to feature both Super Mario Bros and like ten pairs of naked boobs."
|5 56%||It Chapter Two (2019) - Sep 06, 2019
"The beginning reunion of the Losers and the climactic encounter are both memorable, but the very, VERY long middle section definitely dragged for me with similar structure and similar scares repeated over and over again. For a horror movie to truly succeed as a horror movie I shouldn’t be “yeah yeah I get it” awaying the horror beats. That said if you view it as more of a dark fantasy blockbuster it works alright - if protractedly. Bill Hader steals the show, should get a career boost. "
|2 13%||Indecent Proposal (1993) - Sep 05, 2019
"Story about two people who become millionaires and then look super fucking miserable about it scored to the cheesiest music of the 90s. My favorite bit is when a newly millionaire Demi Moore takes a second job. Definitely what I’d do upon becoming a millionaire, keep my one job AND take a second job. Super lame when Demi and Robert Redford just kiss like once and we fade tastefully to black. C’mon I hit play on this so I could see old man Robert Redford nutting. Gotta see that old man nut "
|6 69%||Alita: Battle Angel (2019) - Sep 04, 2019
"Hey shut the fuck up about going to Zalem. Zalem sucks just hang out on earth brah. Other than that it was a pretty fun bit of sci fi cheese I guess, liked the robot dogs lol"
|2 13%||The Intruder (2018) - Sep 02, 2019
"Feels like they pulled some yuppie thriller script written for Michael Douglas in the 80s or early 90s out of a drawer. Except for one text message there’s no reference anywhere to any modern culture, media, technology, internet, etc and Ealy even has a classic 80s yuppie guy generic marketing director type job. Sadly it does not have the nudity those older films did though."
|8 92%||Once Upon a Time in Hollywood (2019) - Sep 01, 2019
"A million Tarantino imitators have come and come since ‘94 or so, but there’s still no one else who makes a movie quite the way he does. Low-key favorite scene: Brad and Leo watching the FBI episode and riffing on it."
|3 27%||Hellboy (2019) - Aug 26, 2019
"If this movie was identical in every way except it was set in the MCU and had a cameo from Doctor Strange or Loki or whoever everyone would suck its dick change my mind "
|4 42%||The Lion King (2019) - Aug 19, 2019
"This is remarkable on a technical achievement level - the fact that animators can sit in front of computers and make animals and locations that look like this in 2019 is truly astonishing. Creatively it’s a very soulless and through-the-motions remake of the 1994 original, without a single scene that betters or even matches the impact of its original 2D animated version. I can’t imagine that Jon Favreau is really the true top voice behind this movie rather than whoever the head animator was."