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billyshears width="100" height="100"

Criticker Zealot - 5282 Film Ratings

Member Since: Mar 15, 2008

Bio: Hootin' & Hollerin' about the moving pictures since '08

more Recent Ratings

85 86% Summer of Sam (1999) - May 29, 2023
"Last time I watched it I was about 12 years old so all I took from this was the boobies (things haven't changed too much) and not the joys of being all hey that's Ben Gazzara! Probably Spike Lee's most accessible film where Adrian Brody is a male prostitute. Always amazed when John Leguizamo starts whining online about Latino representation in movies when I've seen him play a sloth and Italians nonstop. This is a fun movie - fun in that sense it's pushing 2.5 hours but you never feel it. It'"
90 92% Air (2023) - May 29, 2023
"Jason Bateman takes a huge shit and runs his fingers through his hair before washing his hands. Waiting for the Fruit of the Loom biopic, Kevin James getting the grapes. Been watching a lot of movies about products I'm numb to everything. Zero interest in sports, a lot of interest in Space Jam , I wear running shoes to gingerly walk, I was kinda riveted against all odds."
60 34% Nightwish (1989) - May 29, 2023
"That special type of schlock where you have absolutely no idea what's going on bit you're glad to be there. Ooey and gooey. Brian Thompson is a black hole of charisma it's astounding. The janitor got done so fucking dirty I howled."
20 2% Shocking Dark (1990) - May 29, 2023
"Just thanking God, Bruno Mattei never saw Prometheus."
60 34% Screamplay (1985) - May 29, 2023
"Would've been much better as a full silent feature - everyone's moving around like an overacting maniac and the visuals are all yeah I've seen the German 20s cinema. Love passion projects from crazy people who do basically everything behind and infront of the camera, so much gumption , even when it sucks its impressive (this only really applies to stuff shot on film, Neil Breen is fun but who gives a shit digital is whatever but but could you imagine 80s Neil Breen doing his bullshit on film)"
25 4% Sexo caníbal (1980) - May 29, 2023
"But a Roger Ebert 4 Cannibal movies are always me on edge an animal is gonna get it but ... this one's safe , but if you're squeamish watching weiners flopping around without a care in the world and camera man shadows dancing around them - this might sting a bit. One of the actors is "Robert Foster" and I almost gasped. Soundtrack for chunks of this sounded like a fat person leaning against an organ and trying to get up."
80 77% Sisu (2023) - May 29, 2023
"Nazis being murdered is my favourite form of media."
70 53% Renfield (2023) - May 29, 2023
"Whenever there's Dracula stuff this movie is a hoot and a holler, when it's not that it's a I want to tickle that fast forward button. Surprised this was gory I thought it was going to be PG lol. Nicolas Cage devouring is par for the course, it's fun anticipating what voice he's gonna pull out of his big trunk of stupid accents."
90 92% Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut (2006) - May 29, 2023
"Reusing the same ending as the last film is such a big dick wave energy move. Cutting out most of the humor scenes is the right move, franchises shouldn't get silly till atleast the third entry than go absolutely insane by the 4th before backtracking too hard with the 5th."
30 6% Revenge of the Nerds IV: Nerds in Love (1994) - May 29, 2023
"The Nerds franchise has to be R rated, I don't feel like I'm in danger of seeing a nerd do something really heinous that will make you uncomfortable 30 years later. Garbage tv movie, a universe out there losing their minds to this and getting 6 seasons of the Booger TV series on Fox which is in the cancelled The Simpsons time slot after The Critic which is running strong John Pinette a shining beacon of light, I'll never say nay nay"