BillyShears
Criticker Zealot
Member Since: 15 Mar 2008
Bio: Hootin' & Hollerin' about the moving pictures since '08
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Modern Times (1936) - Rated 23 Jan 2015
"Another 90 minutes of watching Chaplin try to slapstick his way into banging a homeless girl."
Get Out (2017) - Rated 21 Apr 2017
"Anything I write here will reveal how white I am as I trip over the words to describe how black I felt watching this."
Elysium (2013) - Rated 13 Aug 2013
"Proper health care is science fiction to Americans."
The Brothers Grimsby (2016) - Rated 13 Mar 2016
"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched an elephant cum inside another elephant's vagina getting all over Mark Strong's face. All those moments will be lost in time... like tears in rain... Time to die."
The Greatest Showman (2017) - Rated 23 Dec 2017
"We got the bearded lady, the Siamese twins, the midget, the fattest man, the tallest man, the dog boy and by gum you better believe we have a kinda black woman."
Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018) - Rated 31 May 2018
"Stupid movie everyone knows Han Solo won the Falcon in a game of Corellian Spike, not traditional Sabacc. That’s why he has those dice, what kind of amateur nonsen - oh this is why I’m alone."
Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977) - Rated 04 Jan 2011
"Dreyfuss's character is one of the biggest assholes in movie history. He just ABANDONS his 3 kids and wife to go play in space and who knows how long he'll be gone. the little boy was gone for a few few days, then the pilots were gone for 30+ IT'S selfish and what do the government say to his family if anything "Oh he um died". Let's just say he comes back after the 30 years, his wife will be dead and his kids will be all messed up and broken, but he'll come back all: "AW NEAT YOU GUYS.""
The Witch (2016) - Rated 20 Feb 2016
"Nothing really sets a movie's tone faster than a baby in a mortar and pestle."