Dorkovsky
Featured Reviews
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| 1 3% |  |
The Patriot (2000) - Oct 16, 2010
"Don't be fooled, for the abysmal score is not hyperbole, but actually a magnificent achievement. Very rarely does a historical movie get so many things wrong and be so offensive doing it. On a darker more serious note, this follows the American narrative, the one that we were actually taught in school, to the goddamn punctuation. I don't want to be reminded about that."
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| 1 3% |  |
Fallen Angels (2006) - Jan 21, 2010
"Everything about this movie is a mistake. First, I ordered the DVD through the library, but because I irresponsibly failed to look at certain details, I got this instead of Wong Kar Wai's film of the same name. On top of that, I actually watched it. Those are just 2 examples, but I can assure you there are countless more."
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| 5 64% |  |
Flow: For Love of Water (2008) - Apr 13, 2011
"Its certainly alarming, although any anti-capitalist isn't going to be particularly shocked. It still has that pie-eyed optimism that these documentaries all seem to share, taking for granted that our apathy will be shattered before, and not after, huge portions of Americans start rotting up the sidewalks with the smell of old death."
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| 2 13% |  |
The Gay Shoe Clerk (1903) - Mar 13, 2010
"If there is one thing that has gotten better over the last 100 years, it is the quality of our pornography."
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| 1 3% |  |
300 (2007) - Apr 08, 2012
"When all those insufferable movie snobs turn their noses up at the general public for contaminating market forces, this is the shit they're thinking of."
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| 1 3% |  |
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001) - Jan 18, 2011
"5 points. One for Matt Damon, one for Chris Rock, one for Will Ferrell and the automatic two for paralyzing my brain effectively for 100 minutes to escape the dismal void that is existence."
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