ediblenapalm
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| 13 0% | I Love You, Man (2009) - Rated 20 May 2009
"In cinema, there is scarcely anything more miserable than a comedy that thinks it is funny, but doesn't try hard enough to be funny. This movie goes along its insufferable way, pretending to be the height of hilarity while offering up a roster of internally ugly characters put through the paces of a story that lacks sense, conflict, and consequence for their behavior."
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| 50 22% | The Mummy Returns (2001) - Rated 20 May 2009
"The major beef I have with this movie is the same one I had with the original. In Universal Studios' quest for attracting the widest mass audience it can garner, it has stripped away the main purpose of the mummy legend: to frighten. Unfortunately, this movie --less violent than "One Night at McCools," less suspenseful than "Driven," and less bloody than even "Bridget Jones's Diary"-- is never scary."
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| 50 22% | Minority Report (2002) - Rated 20 May 2009
"Eternally grey-toned, Spielberg's stylistic choice to go for gloomy grittiness adds atmosphere to the proceedings, but the stringent absence of color or picture clarity from cinematographer Janusz Kaminski grows tedious after a while. The same goes for the progressively muddled plot developments, which have twisted and turned to such a degree by the finale that total convolution takes over. Cold, unmoving, and desperately in need of a beating heart and a soaring soul"
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| 50 22% | The Fast and the Furious (2001) - Rated 20 May 2009
"Despite several slow patches and an ending that doesn't know when to quit (yet still manages to leave characters and relationships hanging without closure), this movie offers mindless summer movie fun for 105 minutes. If anything, the action leaves a cursory adrenaline rush. When the movie is over, though, don't expect to think about it again -- because you won't."
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| 63 51% | The Aristocrats (2005) - Rated 20 May 2009
"For the not easily offended, this is a movie worth seeing at some point down the road, if for no other reason than to get a glimpse at the creativity and talent it takes to craft a successful joke that can push all moral barriers and still end up oddly innocent and good-natured. This movie is something of a peculiarity rather than a fully formed motion picture, but makes up for that by having sharp-tongued ingenuity to spare and a clear-cut purpose to its raunchy madness."
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| 63 51% | Hellboy (2004) - Rated 20 May 2009
"Hellboy is a lovable hero because of nothing more than being a tough guy with a heart, and this sentiment is a testament to Perlman's breakthrough work. Meanwhile, the visual effects range from natural and seamless (as in the tentacle baddies and underwater sequences) to glaringly bad (Liz's blue-hued fire reproduction). With all pros and cons tallied, "Hellboy" stands as a durable popcorn entertainment."
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| 50 22% | Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (2003) - Rated 20 May 2009
"Those interested in the experiences of 19th century nautical officers and warfare may be able to wade through the many slow spots in this movie and have an absorbing time at the movies."
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| 63 51% | WALL·E (2008) - Rated 20 May 2009
"If the plot, equipped with an obligatory environmental message, is on the stale side, leave it to the sheer inventiveness of WALLE and EVE to make up for it. Simply put, they are adorable... and the climax, which places their very lives and the state of their relationship in danger, ventures into some dark and foreboding territory before riling up an ending that should widely please everybody. Like the rest of Pixar's titles, it is destined to endure for years to come."
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| 75 75% | Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005) - Rated 20 May 2009
"In the annals of the "Star Wars" films, this comfortably exceeds "Episode I" and "Episode II," and is the second-best behind the reigning champion, "Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back." Destined to delight diehard fans and humble the naysayers who claimed Lucas had lost the magic of his former trilogy, this movie completes, deepens, and enriches the series beyond the pop-cultural phenomenon it has long-since made for itself."
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| 63 51% | South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut (1999) - Rated 20 May 2009
"It is extremely difficult to adapt a 30-minute cartoon of extreme humor to almost an hour-and-a-half, but Parker has done a fabulous job under the circumstances, proving that not only is he good with voices, but is also a fine director and a smart writer who knows how to steal laughs from an audience."
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