PianoSama
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| 70 81% | Monster High: Ghoul's Rule! (2012) - Oct 03, 2022
"This movie teaches us many things: that Halloween is the best day ever, that goth girls are cool, that executing teenagers in a public display is not cool, that cops usually kind of suck at their jobs and as people, that Deuce & Cleo really are the best ship, that Abbey & Heath are somehow also a good ship, that Deuce is a pretty swell dude & that the animators on these movies give zero fucks because both versions of Andy Beast appear in separate shots during the dance party scene seconds apart."
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| 70 81% | Monster High: Friday Night Frights (2013) - Oct 03, 2022
"Monster High tackles equal rights in the form of a rollerblading competition. Frankie is her fantastic self, Operetta shows up to be the best rollerblader in the school for reasons, Robecca Steam is introduced here, and Clawd gets to be an equal rights icon by deciding that girls in fact SHOULD be allowed to also play sports. In all seriousness this is pretty fun."
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| 70 81% | Monster High: Frights, Camera, Action! (2014) - Oct 02, 2022
"Not quite as good as some of the others, but still fun. Elissabat gets introduced to the franchise here, with one of the best overall designs that Monster High ever did, plus we get other new characters like Honey Swamp who also look great. The plot is paint-by-numbers item quest stuff that's been played out thousands of times, but there are enough corny monster puns and character moments to make it enjoyable viewing. And Hoodude is in this one, so. That's great, too. And Scarantino."
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| 65 45% | It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (1966) - Oct 01, 2022
"Charlie Brown movies don't really do much for adult me. I know that's a hot take, but I just...am not as drawn to these little characters, charmingly animated as they are, the way I used to be. They're kind of all terrible people in some way or another. In the Christmas special, this is somewhat addressed, but it's not here. Here the only arc of the narrative is that having childlike optimism gets you nothing but shattered dreams and no girlfriend. Realistic? Maybe. But not what I want to hear."
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| 70 81% | Barbie as The Princess and The Pauper (2004) - Oct 01, 2022
"You either get musicals or you don't. You either get Barbie movies or you don't. I happen to get both. So, yeah, I enjoyed this a lot. The story is delightful, the animation has the familiar low-budget charm I've come to enjoy about these, the talking animals somehow weren't annoying like they usually are. The plot is taken directly from the fairy tale so you can't really credit that to the writers, but you can credit the people who did the songs- and those are spectacular."
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| 70 81% | Monster High: Escape From Skull Shores (2012) - Sep 27, 2022
"Monster High does King Kong. Well, it's a bit different I guess, but anyway the result is actually pretty good. Andy is a really cool albeit lazily put together character, I wish we'd seen more of him after this. Bartleby is probably the best Monster High villain I've seen so far, because he's clearly an actual critique on Barnum & Bailey and the ethics of the circus/sideshow business. I appreciate that. Gil's little arc was fun, too."
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| 65 45% | Monster High: Welcome to Monster High (2016) - Sep 25, 2022
"This isn't all that bad, really, but it represents an era in Monster High when things were...bad. Very bad. The dolls were bad, an army of pearl-clutching Karens were trying to get the franchise killed, and the entire lore being shifted around overnight for no actual reason didn't make anybody happy. So while it's a perfectly okay movie on its own, albeit one with a terrible villain and flimsy writing, it's made worse because of what it stands for in the fandom. So. There ya go."
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| 70 81% | Bratz the Video: Starrin' & Stylin' (2004) - Sep 25, 2022
"The 2D animation era in Bratz was bizarre, and it being so short-lived is probably for the better. This was still fun, though. Jade being shamed for trying weird styles was not fun. Lady Gaga would be ashamed."
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| 70 81% | Bratz: Passion 4 Fashion - Diamondz (2006) - Sep 24, 2022
"Sharidan is my new favorite Bratz character. What a sweetheart. I had more fun with this than Rock Angelz, but it still had a lot of the same problems that RA had- it's rushed yet somehow also not fast enough, the animation is unreasonably messy, and the plot is flimsy. But, the characters and themes carry the whole thing well enough. Every time the girls call each other by their nicknames I smile. They're really stupid names, but also endearing."
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| 70 81% | Barbie: A Fashion Fairytale (2010) - Sep 24, 2022
"This one is a bit weak for me, honestly. The writing isn't as great as I've come to expect from the cinematic revelation that is the Barbie franchise. But it's still fun and sparkly and it has ZOMBIE PEAS. So it gets points for those things. But there's too many talking animals and not enough absolute bangers on the soundtrack."
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