Movie Buff - 162 Film Ratings
Member Since: Mar 15, 2022
Bio: Writer focused on anti-egalitarian topics and transcendent naturalism. Love garbage television and horror films, uninterested in "profound" French Revolution narratives.
|44 39%||Assassins (1995) - Sep 19, 2022
"This movie is about forty-five minutes too long. The audience came for the action and a twisted plot, not the scene-chewing between Stallone and Banderas (both of whom very sensibly treat this film as a comedy). It is fantasy, through and through, which is why we are cheering for larcenous hit men instead of condemning them, but it becomes too unbelievable and too overblown at some points. If I had not seen it, it would be the perfect movie for a slow afternoon but I do not want to see it again."
|2 7%||Genius (2016) - Sep 19, 2022
"They gave it the same treatment that "Pride and Prejudice" got with the Kiera Knightly version: every scene over-acted, every character a pile of compulsions, lots of emotion, almost no coherent appreciation for these men as people or intellects. This could have been an amazing movie, and instead it was a painful watch that dragged on until it mercifully ended without making a clear point."
|98 94%||Murder by Numbers (2017) - Sep 18, 2022
"Looking for a Forensic Files replacement? Nothing can replace it, but this show is a great "true crime" watch, covering a wide range of cases. Their re-enactments are next generation: little voice over narrator, mostly interview subjects telling the story via voice over while video of re-enactment plays, occasional use of stills or even rarer video from the time period. Cinematic quality re-enactment makes this one fun to watch and a bit scary."
|2 7%||Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004) - Sep 17, 2022
""Let's make a movie that anyone can understand!" they said, not realizing that this means taking several potentially decent movies and throwing them into a Cuisinart in order to make baby food which digests quickly and leaves an unsatisfied, semi-stupified audience."
|2 7%||Daybreakers (2010) - Sep 17, 2022
"How do you screw up a vampire movie? You clone Gattaca, get a pretense of depth from Equilibrium, and then stick in lots of personal drama like the utter failure of the Blade Runner reboot. The end result drips with the penile emesis of masturbation but fundamentally is just boring, which should be a sinf or any vampire movie."
|2 7%||Transporter 3 (2008) - Sep 17, 2022
"The director insisted that the filmmakers use his niece as the female lead. She was horrible, thought the writer, so he wrote her into the script as a drunken whore with mental health problems and an exceptionally low IQ. All of the charm in Jason Statham could not save this script, which backfires because any actress can handle being a damsel in distress, but when you give them rope, they hang themselves, much like this abortion of a plot and anyone who sat through the whole movie."
|2 7%||Transcendence (2014) - Sep 17, 2022
"Pompous, all surface no depth, consummate juggling of buzzwords with no connection to anything but the human ego, in other words a typical postmodern post-diversity egotastic White Redditor film. Barf!"
|97 88%||Time Bandits (1981) - Sep 17, 2022
"George Harrison funded this Monty Python driven dark satire of human technology in the same way that the other films lambasted faith and culture. Designed for children, but quite dark, this movie reveals the absolute emptiness of the modern era through the antics of midgets and children."
|85 47%||Malignant (2021) - Jun 26, 2022
"Japanese-style horror apparently involves random events that gradually coalesce in this Stephen King style plot about a shadow twin. Once it picks up momentum, this film makes for a good engrossing yarn, although until things start to make sense it comes across as cheap, trashy, and disorganized."
|98 94%||Lord of Illusions (1995) - Jun 26, 2022
"Adroit, suspenseful retelling of the Satan mythos as a kind of occult noir. I had never heard of Famke Janssen before she got involved with moronic superhero films (but I repeat myself) and yet here she complements the hammy but convincing Scott Bakula. Thoroughly entertaining mystical horror, this film provided minimal insight into evil but an atmosphere that unites the Garden of Eden with the Great Work."