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Celluloid Junkie - 3713 Film Ratings

Member Since: Nov 14, 2011

Location: Germany

Bio: Rapefruit
Stunt Cock
Hartgesottener Spa├čvogel
Skrupelloser Sittenstrolch
Nigger on a Horse
Umweltbewusster Schmusekapitalist
Deutscher Meister im Neoliberalistischen Ausdruckstanz
more Recent Ratings
62 31% Jeremiah Johnson (1972) - Dec 15, 2018
"Feels like a weird, episodic fairy tale based on a folk song. Looks great, but is otherwise not that interesting. It's very slow (like you'd expect from Pollack), most of the acting is either cheesy or stare-based, and Redford's teen mag cover hair is the biggest fourth wall breaker I've ever seen."
70 54% Destination Wedding (2018) - Dec 14, 2018
"Surprisingly fun and cute. Good chemistry."
15 0% Crazy Rich Asians (2018) - Dec 12, 2018
"What a cringefest. It's like a Hallmark movie about Asian acceptance no one needed. With major ivory tower signaling issues. As if the whole thing is a commercial for rich people apparel. Featuring a guy without a personality and a girl without charisma, who seems constantly tired and nauseated for some reason. But I guess that's what terrible writing and horrible acting get ya. I mean, I get that Chu's going for a oldschool Hollywood vibe here, it's just that he reeeeaaally sucks at it."
63 34% Venom (2018) - Dec 11, 2018
"This movie must have literally the shortest third act in movie history. Him eventually becoming Venom and confronting+fighting the villain was done in more than 10 minutes. And it felt like less. Things that probably once were entire scenes or at least big moments appear to have been reduced to mere sentences. Otherwise a fun comedic superhero movie with a cool cast and a great Tom Hardy, which is not a hot mess or overly reliant on repeating the same joke for 108 minutes. Yay."
57 23% The Predator (2018) - Dec 10, 2018
"Way too much plot and way too many characters keep you from caring about any of it. Weak visual storytelling makes for some confusing action scenes. Resulting in randomness. The superior predator looks much worse than the weaker one. How ironic. The movie can't seem to blend its sincere elements with its sarcastic ones. Maybe it's just trying too hard to be R-rated and politically incorrect. Like it was written by a couple of 12-year-olds. But for a movie this boring it's pretty entertaining. "
69 50% Tag (2018) - Dec 10, 2018
"It's pretty cool to see that there's a decent movie in such a basic premise."
69 50% Peppermint (2018) - Dec 09, 2018
"Always nice to see Jennifer Garner deliver."
67 45% Sorry to Bother You (2018) - Dec 09, 2018
"Problem: Too much weirdness on top of weirdness very rarely works. Unless the the feeling you want to evoke is a general sense of randomness instead of surrealism. Nothing against odd punchlines, but punchlines need to be funny on top of everything else. And a number of them were. Maybe it's just trying a little too hard to be The Black Lebowski, I don't know... All the dubbing and ADR could've been better."
56 21% Incredibles 2 (2018) - Dec 08, 2018
"Suffers most from its weak, generic villain. The fact that the teenage girl sounds like constipated 40-year-old with a lisp doesn't help matters, either. And for a Pixar movie this one features a looooot of Dreamworks faces. At least it looks neat most of the time and the action scenes are fun."
61 28% Mission: Impossible - Fallout (2018) - Dec 03, 2018
"Has its cool parts...but ultimately there were too many dumb and silly things that annoyed me and took me out of the movie for me to consider it a good one."