JSchlansky
Celluloid Junkie
Member Since: 15 Apr 2014
Bio: I perform various production-related tasks
Recent Ratings
Check out JSchlansky's...
Caught in the Net (2020) - Rated 18 Sep 2025
"The internet sure is a scary, vile place. Obviously, we all know these things happen, but the sheer numbers here were shocking and sickening"
Opera (1987) - Rated 17 Sep 2025
"When the big, violent set pieces are happening, it's magnificent. Whenever anything else is happening, it's a sloppy mess. In other words, it's an Italian horror film"
Unknown Number: The High School Catfish (2025) - Rated 17 Sep 2025
"Incompetent filmmaking and interviewing that never digs deeper, presses, or gets confrontational even when it has the perfect opportunity to do so. The recreations are so cheesy, especially when it's mostly the director going "Pretend to read texts in bed. Okay, now pretend to read texts in the hallway. Okay, now pretend to read texts on your couch. Okay, now pretend to read texts by a campfire. Cool, that should be enough. We'll re-use those shots 30 times each""
Megalopolis (2024) - Rated 17 Sep 2025
"bafflingly bad"
Black Bag (2025) - Rated 17 Sep 2025
"It stays a bit too small and low-stakes for its own good (you could easily mount this as a stage play), but it's talky nature works given how fun the dialogue and characters are The number of people named Gooch in the end credits was alarming"
Ms .45 (1981) - Rated 04 Sep 2025
"The leap in quality for Abel Ferrara from The Driller Killer to this is insane. I don't know how the hell he made these two back to back. Ferrara must have read a book in between or something"
Beau Travail (1999) - Rated 29 Aug 2025
"Well, I enjoyed it more than the other Clair Denis films I've seen, but I still don't think her style is really for me. I've been looking forward to this one for a long time so it was pretty disappointing to get so little out of the experience. It's visual striking every step of the way, I get what it's saying and doing, and there were even a couple of engaging individual sequences, but the overall package just never pulled me in or got me to care about (or really even believe) its characters."
Harlan County, USA (1976) - Rated 23 Aug 2025
"Excellent documentary filmmaking. They should show this in every school, but it's obvious why most never would"
77 Minutes (2016) - Rated 18 Aug 2025
"Disgusting, exploitative, shameful trash"
Crime Scene: The Vanishing at the Cecil Hotel (2021) - Rated 18 Aug 2025
"What does this bring to the table that hasn't been covered in the million YouTube videos on the subject? Lots of pointless tangents to stretch out the runtime and aggressive vilification of homeless and poor people for the sake of red herrings even though the documentarians know full well they had nothing to do with it (plus one woman who looks distractingly identical to Kim from Better Call Saul, she's even dressed the same and has the same hair, it's uncanny)"
