JSchlansky
Celluloid Junkie
Member Since: 14 Apr 2014
Bio: I perform various production-related tasks
Recent Ratings
Check out JSchlansky's...
Eden Lake (2008) - Rated 14 Jun 2025
"Typical bad 2000s horror movie, right down to the characters all constantly doing stupid things that make absolutely no sense and the whole 'fear the youth' theme tailor made for middle class white folk. It's insane that Fassbender was in this and Hunger in the same year"
Night Moves (1975) - Rated 12 Jun 2025
""The Florida Connection" Quite an uneven film with lots of little issues in the tone and whatnot, but most of those faults are wiped clean by how bonkers and cool the third act is. Looking forward to the sequel: Night Two-ves"
Queer (2024) - Rated 09 Jun 2025
"Falls extremely flat on a character level for me, which has me itching to read the see source material. Going in, I knew the book was written by William S. Burroughs of Naked Lunch fame, but I didn't realize the texts were related to this extent. The surreal moments sing while the core narrative left me cold with the complete lack of chemistry between the leads and the lack of insight into either character"
The Devil Next Door (2019) - Rated 01 Jun 2025
"So far beyond manipulatively edited and assembled. Yet another case of a story that would already feel drawn out at 90 minutes instead stretched out into 5 episodes per Netflix mandate with artificial """twists""" and faux suspense along the way. It's so by the numbers, right down to the awful B-roll where they film irrelevant interviewees with nothing to say walking in slow motion or staring """pensively""" out a window to fill time while they say absolutely nothing of substance"
Secret Sunshine (2007) - Rated 01 Jun 2025
"Densely packed on a narrative and thematic level, and it's presented with such restraint and subtlety. I often lament how many filmmakers don't trust the audience, but Lee Chang-dong is brilliant at leaving things understated or entirely unsaid while trusting the audience to read between the lines and interpret characters' actions or inaction, as well as interpreting the meaning behind every one of his brilliant little filmmaking choices"
Bring Her Back (2025) - Rated 30 May 2025
"Tarantino has the trunk shot, Wes Anderson has his signature aesthetic, and the Phillipou brothers have mutilating small boys. Put that in their IMDb director trademark section. Lots of cool ingredients and moments but the film sadly doesn't hold up to scrutiny and falls flat in a couple of key areas, especially the last act"
Portrait of God (2022) - Rated 30 May 2025
"Neat premise and effective build-up of tension. It's unfortunate that the payoff is the same unintentionally goofy, recycled creepypasta junk that seems to be in every other popular YouTube horror short"
Ruka (1965) - Rated 30 May 2025
"Throughout it all, this tiny MF kept a smile on his face and a pirouette in his step"
Gyakuten saiban (2012) - Rated 28 May 2025
"The Ace Attorney games are a lot of fun, and this adaptation captures the tone and plot fairly well, though none of the characters pop the way they do in visual novel form. It takes the weird approach of being shockingly faithful to the games for the most but then also injecting bonkers sci-fi elements out of nowhere that feel completely out of place (my only guess was that this was their way of compensating for the missing UI of the game)."
A Snake of June (2002) - Rated 25 May 2025
"Need to keep watching more Tsukamoto. This wasn't quite as wild at Tetsuo the Iron Man but it's pretty out there in its own right and the couple of moments where it goes full bore are really special"
