JSchlansky
Bio: I perform various production-related tasks
Recent Ratings
Check out JSchlansky's...
| 52 31% | Skinny Tiger and Fatty Dragon (1990) - Mar 27, 2023
"Great fights, a wonderful dance from Sammo, and some funny slapstick gags. The auditory side of this film is hot garbage. The plot completely grinds to a halt halfway through when the two buddy cops literally go on vacation, and the next 15+ minutes is spent just watching them have a good time on vacation. Incredibly bizarrely paced/structured. The film is rife with rampant misogyny, transphobia, and sexual harassment all from the heroes of the movie and played for laughs."
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| 84 84% | Wanda (1970) - Mar 24, 2023
"Imagine if John Cassavetes directed Easy Rider. Now imagine if he was a feminist who was making her directorial debut with an even lower budget than normal. Now imagine that film was a misunderstood gem of the time, that she never got the chance to make another film, and that she passed away long before her film was reevaluated and seen for the achievement that it is"
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| 89 89% | Above the Law (1986) - Mar 22, 2023
"The action scenes had me involuntarily shouting "whoa!" too many times to count. Cynthia Rothrock and Yuen Biao both kick so much ass. Corey Yuen does great work not just in the director's chair but also as an actor. I love that he made himself the super schlubby cop, that's such fun casting. The plot seems straightforward at first but proves itself to be unpredictable. There were a couple of story moments that genuinely shocked me in a great way, which is quite rare to find in this genre."
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| 76 69% | Pedicab Driver (1989) - Mar 21, 2023
"It's a shame this is so hard to get a hold of today because the fight scenes are truly phenomenal. Everything around the action is much weaker, unfortunately. The plot is bizarrely structured, melodramatic, and aggressively misogynistic. The humor mostly misses too, and the tone is a clusterfuck between the goofy and tragic ends of the spectrum that don't mesh in the slightest. The action is just so great though."
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| 35 14% | Ambulance (2022) - Mar 20, 2023
"Bay's direction is a mess like always. The way he uses a drone is so obnoxious, and the tone is all over the place with the content being cheesy as hell but the soundtrack and slow-mo golden-hour shots insisting that everything is so dramatic. I would call this the worst original score I've heard in a while but it's possible the music might be fine in a different context. It's like putting the score to Schindler's List over Hobo With a Shotgun"
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| 55 34% | Accident Man (2018) - Mar 18, 2023
"There are just enough goofy fun moments to make it barely worth a watch, like Adkins kicking a grenade out of mid-air or Adkins using a band-aid brand called "Adkins." I enjoyed it a bit less than Jesse V. Johnson's The Debt Collector released the same year, about the same as his Triple Threat released the following year, and much less than his Avengement (his best movie) also released the following year; this guy shoots a lot. I'll still watch the sequel"
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| 90 91% | Triangle of Sadness (2022) - Mar 16, 2023
"Contrary to what it says on the tin, this actually made my triangle quite happy"
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| 83 83% | John Wick: Chapter 4 (2023) - Mar 14, 2023
"Overstuffed and way too long (you could cut the entire Berlin act without affecting the plot whatsoever), but it is just so goddamn entertaining. The action is stellar, the new characters are all significantly more interesting than the returning characters, and Donnie Yen steals the show. It’s a poor script executed in bravura fashion and significantly elevated. The story is not good, but the action is so great you might not care."
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| 40 18% | Stereo (1969) - Mar 08, 2023
"For Cronenberg completionists only. An experimental film and also a largely silent film, as in there is no music, SFX, or even ambient noise and the only audio is intermittent voice-over narration. Apparently, this was less of a stylistic choice and more of just an accident because the camera Cronenberg was using was too loud to record audio simultaneously and they didn't do any ADR/foley. Even at just an hour long, this is interminably dull."
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| 75 66% | Hardcore (1979) - Mar 06, 2023
"this is pretty hardcore"
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