|58 61%||The Black Phone (2022) - Nov 05, 2022
"The Black Phone is very good. The direction by Scott Derrickson is solid and Ethan Hawke is nightmarishly great. Everything about it should become better than what it is but there are a few absolutely baffling production decisions (thank you Blumhouse) and it has far from a consistent script. I'm still very glad I watched it though, movies this simple and straightforward are hard to find nowadays."
|45 47%||The Breakfast Club (1985) - Oct 22, 2022
"I've never been a fan of The Breakfast Club. I can understand why people like it and why it exists but the core conceit of the film to me was always weak. You mean to tell me that human-beings are infinitely complex creatures and can't be boiled-down to lazy and reproducible stereotypes? Absolutely riveting stuff. At least the characters themselves have a ton of chemistry. That goes a long way for me and elevates would should otherwise be John Hughes pretending to be smarter than he is."
|29 26%||Escape from L.A. (1996) - Oct 22, 2022
"Escape from L.A. screams of being a cheap cash-in sequel that was green-lit by a studio whose lawyers strong-armed the Plissken character and "Escape from..." property away from Carpenter. Sadly, this was just John Carpenter's descent reaching new lows. Everything is the same but with about 5% as much effort. I love the ending but the time and painful rehashes it takes to get there just isn't worth it. "Welcome to the human race." - Definitely not John Carpenter talking directly to Hollywood."
|45 47%||The Midnight Club (2022) - Oct 22, 2022
"Has Mike Flanagan jumped the shark? Is the stress of churning out yearly 9-10 episode series for an increasingly desperate Netflix finally showing? The Midnight Club wastes so much time on metaphoric storytelling/character-building and when it has to get to the real plot it misses the point so badly it's more tragic than watching all these kids slowly die. That's to say nothing of the numerous dropped threads. I don't even know that I want a second season despite the clear cliffhanger."
|86 92%||The Grapes of Wrath (1940) - Oct 15, 2022
"Most of the time I have to give tons of concessions to Golden-era Hollywood productions for the lack of modern sensibilities but The Grapes of Wrath is no such film. The long cut-less takes, lack of score, and stage-like acting give weight to everything happening in this film because it forces the viewer to confront what is on-screen without any distractions. Sure, it may never truly live up the novel so many of us had to read as ninth-graders but it about as good an adaptation as there is."
|49 52%||Elvis (2022) - Sep 06, 2022
"You ain't nothin' but a biopic, melodramatic all the time. You ain't nothin' but a Baz Lurhmann, too much Hanks. Well, you didn't break the mold and you too long to be a friend of mine. Well they said Butler was high class, that was partially a lie. Well they said he was a fine voice, that was not a lie. Well you sing and dance but you ain't no Elvis of mine."
|44 46%||Pawn Stars (2009) - Aug 31, 2022
"Pawn Stars isn't a bad show when you get to learn the histories about the items. The problem really is everything else. So, best I can do is 44."
|35 35%||Aquaman (2018) - Aug 21, 2022
"There is an outlandishness, sorry, underwaterishness, to Aquaman that I do appreciate but it remains an uneven and mostly boring entry in the DC canon. It's nice to see one of these intentionally taking itself a bit less serious at times but the end is still just a comic book feature that completely lacks purpose other than to prop up other movies and to show off advances in computer-generated imagery."
|28 24%||Final Destination 2 (2003) - Aug 20, 2022
"Eh, maybe the concept of death itself as a vengeful spurned antagonist wasn't that clever after all? The script is at least good enough to pay off some of the Rube Goldbergian deaths but everything else is just plain boring. Final Destination 2 does prove that slashers do kinda need the huge dude in a mask because without it the tension is either non-existent or just plain confused and that seeing annoying characters get killed in interesting ways can only take your movie so far."
|58 61%||Who Killed Captain Alex? (2010) - Aug 20, 2022
"I can't tell if Who Killed Captain Alex is the best or worst movie ever made. One thing that can't be denied, it surely is a movie. MOVIE, MOVIE, MOVIE! COMMANDO! ACTION-PACKED MOVIE!"