Hellraiser: Hellseeker
If I told you there was a movie that mixed Memento, The Jacket, and Joker together, I assume you would think it would be the best movie ever made? Well, maybe, but not this piece of shit... In fact, this might be one of the worst movies I have ever seen, and it has nothing to do with this being attached to Hellraiser. Okay, maybe a little... What the fuck did they do to Kirsty Cotton?!?!
I'm getting ahead of myself again... Ahem...
This movie is just plain boring and predictable. There's not a single twist in this movie I didn't see from a mile away. In fact, by around the 70-minute mark, I was thinking that this would have been a really good first half hour to a thriller movie, with the preceding "twist" being the setup for an insane movie. I guess what I'm saying is there are a thousand other movies that do these themes better. What's identity?! Never heard of it...
Sigh... Then there's... Dean Winters... Talk about Mayhem! Holy shit, he's so bad in this. He gives the flattest performance of any actor I have ever seen. My eyes were glazing over after the fifteenth time he just looked to the side of the camera with a panic of diarrhea on his face. Also, for some reason, this absolute doofus is somehow sleeping with at least five women, with at least a couple more liking him way more than a stranger should. Like, none of his romantic partners make any sense, and the whole plotline involving Kirsty Cotton is absolutely asinine!
OH RIGHT!!! We are talking about HELLRAISER. I forgot about that for some reason. UGH... It makes the least sense of any of the movies why the Cenobites are doing any of this. Sure, there's an explanation, but this is the fourth time in a row now that a film has just made up new rules for the Cenobites. There's just too much wrong with this movie. Acting, CGI, pacing... I could list ten more things this movie gets wrong, but it fails on practically every metric...
I'm going to take a little bit of a break from Hellraiser, but I should be back in a couple of days. This has still been a really fun adventure, but I think I need to mentally prepare for the next couple of movies. At least there's a rainbow of pain at the end. Oh, also, I think I just might watch The Jacket. It's obviously on my mind a lot, and it seems great!
I'm getting ahead of myself again... Ahem...
This movie is just plain boring and predictable. There's not a single twist in this movie I didn't see from a mile away. In fact, by around the 70-minute mark, I was thinking that this would have been a really good first half hour to a thriller movie, with the preceding "twist" being the setup for an insane movie. I guess what I'm saying is there are a thousand other movies that do these themes better. What's identity?! Never heard of it...
Sigh... Then there's... Dean Winters... Talk about Mayhem! Holy shit, he's so bad in this. He gives the flattest performance of any actor I have ever seen. My eyes were glazing over after the fifteenth time he just looked to the side of the camera with a panic of diarrhea on his face. Also, for some reason, this absolute doofus is somehow sleeping with at least five women, with at least a couple more liking him way more than a stranger should. Like, none of his romantic partners make any sense, and the whole plotline involving Kirsty Cotton is absolutely asinine!
OH RIGHT!!! We are talking about HELLRAISER. I forgot about that for some reason. UGH... It makes the least sense of any of the movies why the Cenobites are doing any of this. Sure, there's an explanation, but this is the fourth time in a row now that a film has just made up new rules for the Cenobites. There's just too much wrong with this movie. Acting, CGI, pacing... I could list ten more things this movie gets wrong, but it fails on practically every metric...
I'm going to take a little bit of a break from Hellraiser, but I should be back in a couple of days. This has still been a really fun adventure, but I think I need to mentally prepare for the next couple of movies. At least there's a rainbow of pain at the end. Oh, also, I think I just might watch The Jacket. It's obviously on my mind a lot, and it seems great!
Mini Review: If Memento, The Jacket, and Joker had a baby, you'd expect greatness. Instead, this piece of shit is boring, predictable, and every twist is visible from a mile away. Dean Winters gives the flattest performance I've ever seen, looking off-camera with a panic of diarrhea on his face. What the fuck did they do to Kirsty Cotton?! The Cenobites' rules make no sense, either. I'm taking a break from Hellraiser, but I'll return for the rainbow of pain. Maybe I'll watch The Jacket instead. Oof