Angel

This gets half a star bump for the dialogue between Susan Tyrell and Dick Shawn. They’re fun. Everything else about this movie can cram it with walnuts. Building a movie around a 15 year old prostitute is gross, and the movie seems to know this because it tries really, really hard not to sexualize her beyond mentioning her occupation. Meanwhile, they cast a 24 year old to play her which, while good that they didn’t cast a 15 year old, she’s obviously not 15, so it sucks you out of it. None of her classmates look like teenagers either. The movie also can’t decide if it wants to tell the story of Angel trying to balance school and prostitution, a cop trying to get her off the streets, her wacky circle of friends, or a serial killer, so it does all four, and none of them well. The score, which was composed in less than a week, never suits the moment, either sounding like sitcom b-sides, or afterschool special garbage. And worst of all, the movie is just BORING. It has the pulse of a rock. The serial killer story has no tension, no gore, and the killer doesn’t even talk until the final moments. The acting and dialogue are corny, but not in a campy fun way, just in an inept, bargain basement way. It took all I had to keep focus on this dead fish of a movie, hoping something would happen, something that would justify the cult following it has. I regret every second of it.