Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things

This movie makes you wait over an hour of its hour-25 runtime for the plot to kick in. In that time, you suffer through community theater-level acting, led by an insufferable jackass portraying a theater troupe boss as he verbally, emotionally, and physically abused his troupe. Most of the dialogue feels improved, as people try to one up each other with “jokes” that are as funny as stubbing your toe. When the zombies finally happen, it crams in all the hallmarks of a zombie siege movie into 20 minutes, but not in a tense, white-knuckle way. More like a classic rock band playing a greatest hits medley rather than full songs so they save on time. The zombie makeup is pretty good for the lean budget, but that can’t make up for terrible dialogue, terrible pacing, and terrible characters. Oh, and just to twist the knife? The worst character dies last.