Frogs

When I assign a star rating to these movies, I try my best to make it reflect how successful the movie is in achieving its goal, but use the text review to expand on my personal feelings. It's not always possible -- sometimes, a movie is just so terrible or so much fun, it's impossible to divorce objectivity and subjectivity -- but I try. The Room is a TERRIBLE movie, in every functional category, and it deserves a half-star ... but it is ridiculously enjoyable for no reason Tommy Wieseau intended. Similarly, I know Bill & Ted Face The Music isn't a five-star movie in the sense that Vertigo or Ghostbusters are, but the movie brought me unbridled joy. So it is with that caveat that I say that Frogs isn't a great movie, and it's not even really all that good of a movie. But it is so silly, and so committed to being serious about its premise despite its execution, I couldn't help but get some enjoyment out of it. Probably not the way the producers intended, but that's how it goes. It's one of the many "eco-terror" movies of the 70's, that turned nature into a horror monster. Although the title of the movie would lead you to believe frogs are the monsters in question here, they're not. They're just the vanguard of nature's army, the banner carriers and drummers inspiring the real troops. The movie takes place on an island somewhere off the coast of Florida, and has the most biologically diverse ecosystem for an island save for Madagascar. Lizards, monitors, corn snakes, rattlers, gators, caimans, birds of all sorts .. they're all out for revenge on this wealthy family that has polluted the surrounding area, and only a very young Sam Elliott can do anything about it. Well, all he does is run, but he's there, being a young Sam Elliott, and that's good. I won't go into the technical stuff on this; it's a low-budget horror movie from the early 70's about killer wildlife. This has a ceiling, and it is set low. Real low. But the movie's earnestness in its ecological message, combined with the absolutely goofy way it commits to delivering that message -- be good to the planet, or animals will rise up -- is stupid fun. Come on, a woman gets bit by a rattler, dies INSTANTLY, and then turns as blue as Windex in a matter of seconds. How can you not laugh at that? This is the kind of movie you go into when you're feeling good and want something enjoyably dumb, and you don't care if it achieves that honestly or accidentally.