Hardware

Even if this movie could fix its biggest flaw, it would still have a ceiling. That limit is that this is just an average movie. I’ll give it praise for the elements that are notable; the use of color is eye-catching, the soundtrack is varied and unique, the robot design is awesome, the special effects are gnarly af, and overall it has a cool atmosphere. Post-apocalyptic slasher movies are not exactly a dime a dozen; that change of setting and atmosphere really does make the movie feel fresh. There are some minor problems, like some weak acting here and there and some groan inducing dialogue, but those can be overlooked and considered part of this movie’s B-tier charm. What can’t is the bizarre and disjointed pacing. Half the movie, 45 minutes in total, has to go by before kicking off the horror aspect of this. Those 45 minutes are spent building out the world and giving the two main characters some definition, but there’s this feeling of spinning its wheels I couldn’t shake. When it finally got to the fun part, it is too herky-jerky to fully appreciate. I count at least two non-endings, and some pointless fake-out deaths to boot. By limiting much of the second half to within the apartment of the heroine, the movie limits the carnage and the overall fun, so it has to go for misdirection that almost always feels telegraphed. Hardware feels like the kind of movie you’d see on at 1 AM on USA, or a Joe Bob Briggs Monstervision special. It’s passable enough, has the requisite components for a horror/slasher, and does just enough to be original. But unlike the movie’s antagonist robot that can self-heal from scraps and junk, this movie doesn’t know how to pull itself together to be better.