Home with a View of the Monster

Utterly and unbelievably incomprehensible and incompetent. There’s no beating around the bush here, this movie is a mess of unprecedented proportions. The story is told in a non-linear fashion for no good reason other than someone saw Pulp Fiction do it. The acting is somewhere on the spectrum between “not good enough to be cast in a Lifetime Original” and “2nd understudy in a school play”. The script is written in such a way that shows nobody involved has ever had a conversation with another living being, or knows how people interact. Seriously, there’s a couple that own a home together, want to have kids, and he’s asking her where she sees herself in two years like it’s a job interview, or asking her details about a children’s book she’s been writing for some time. Why does it seem like these people don’t know each other? And then the other couple is all over the map, literally. I swear there’s a bunch of dialogue that got red-lined, but it was done with a random number generator, leaving this hodgepodge where characters bounce around on a whim from topic to topic, mood to mood, with no provocation or explanation. The whole concept of the movie doesn’t even explain itself; it’s a haunted house, but it may also be a time loop? And that’s not to mention the several other individual subplots and motivations going on that clutter a movie that couldn’t walk a straight line if the line was six feet wide. This movie is neither cohesive or coherent, and it certainly isn’t worth the time.