Intruder

I saw this recommended on a horror YouTube channel as a fun slasher-comedy with a unique location that used it to its advantage. I saw that it had a hell of a pedigree too: written and directed by one half of the duo that wrote Evil Dead 2. Sam Raimi himself part of the cast, and no doubt providing guidance as shooting occurred. Produced by a guy who would go on to produce most of Tarantino’s movies. Make up and gore effects by Greg Nicotero, who would go on to do the same for tons of other projects, including The Walking Dead. How could this go wrong? Turns out that all of that added up to nothing whatsoever, and this is as disappointing and boilerplate late-era slasher trash as you can get. The unique premise of the grocery store and the killer using the store to his murderous advantage is mostly squandered, as 80% of the kills are a butcher knife. Very little of the make-up and gore effects survived heavy MPAA cuts, and even in the unrated cut, it’s still full of cutaways and misdirections and people being off-screened to death. The few inventive kills are interesting, but they, like the rest, are hindered by a budget that could never match the imagination behind this movie, or even meet it halfway. The direction is annoying as all hell, as Scott Spiegel insists on shoving the camera into weird angles that not only don’t benefit storytelling, but become a distraction for their silliness. Ever wanted to see a movie play out from inside a mop bucket? Or from the bottom of a broom? Or from inside the dial of a rotary phone? Intruder has that and more. When it’s not doing that, it’s giving the very down to earth, not supernatural at all killer the ability to teleport across the store. And there are so many continuity errors. So many. The acting is sub-Unsolved Mysteries re-enactment scenes, the score is never appropriate, the geography of the store makes no sense, the killer’s motivation is moronic, and the identity couldn’t be more obvious with neon signs and sirens. I’d say the comedy isn’t funny, but there is no actual attempt at a joke at any point in the movie. The horror isn’t scary because it’s too stupid to take seriously. The slasher formula is so off-balance, the entire final girl circuit/showdown with the killer is A FULL 30 MINUTES. And the ending is a huge middle finger, laughing at you for wasting your time. I’ve read this got high marks, and I don’t know how. I see nothing worth watching in this whatsoever. It’s dull, unoriginal, and lifeless.