Malignant

With 30 minutes to go, I feared I knew where this was going. I'd already sat through the rest of the interminably long, extraordinarily stupid movie, with its sub-USA Up All Night acting, insultingly bad dialogue, padded runtime, early 2000's CGI (and CGI blood, for fuck's sake, why), over-reliance of jump scares, and obnoxious score. I'd heard how batshit insane the last 30 minutes were, but I had a feeling I knew what the big reveal would be, and I was sitting there dreading being right. And I was. This movie is an outright plagiarism of, at least, The Dark Half and Basket Case. The parasitic twin with the psychic bond has not only been done, its been done so, so much better. And the batshit insane finale? Have you seen The Matrix? Now mix in a sprinkle of "it was all a dream". If you think that's batshit insane, I envy your enthusiasm, and I welcome you from the cave you've been living in for 30 years. But for us who have been watching movies for a couple decades, this isn't crazy. This isn't even mildly disturbed. This movie is 100% stolen assets, taken from a dozen different movies, and wholly dependent on a plot device that have been done to much better effect in the hands of others. And when you're looking up at movies like Basket Case, you are in some low company. Hooptober 2021 unscheduled bonus movie