Slay Belles
How did a movie only an hour and six minutes (and NINE MINUTES OF CREDITS) feel twice that? Let’s see …
The three main characters are abrasive, obnoxious, unlikeable cliches that dress like a focus group’s idea of Suicide Girls doing harijuku cosplay. In other words, they don’t look or act like real people.
Everybody puts “fuck” into every sentence, sometimes multiple times. They curse more than Andrew Dice Clay stubbing his toe.
Film almost everything with shaky-cam, including establishing shots. YES EVEN ESTABLISHING SHOTS CAN’T BE STILL. Was this filmed on an iPhone on a selfie-stick? Did they put the camera in a paint shaker? Certainly feels like it.
Editing that will throw you from scene to scene like you’re being launched out of a trebuchet.
Filming outdoor night scenes with natural light. It’s a brave choice to make a movie nearby invisible by way of darkness, and this movie keeps doing it.
Redshirts that are introduced and killed off in the same scene, because you certainly aren’t gonna kill off any of the three leads, but you can’t have a horror movie without blood. So, here’s Boyfriend! … and he’s dead. Here’s Random People Living In The Woo— dead before I could finish the sentence.
“Jokes” that lack punchlines. Or set-ups. Or literally any component of a joke whatsoever.
Have an unearned last minute “it was me all along” twist with the villain. And follow that up by THE DECAPITATION OF SANTA CLAUS.
But most of all, have a campy, silly, crazy premise for a horror comedy that demands you go over the top, and … aim for the dead center. Don’t lean into the camp and go balls out silly like Tucker & Dale, don’t take it too seriously and come back around to being funny … no, just present a premise that seems silly, and play it straight within the silly premise, killing both moods in the process.
The three main characters are abrasive, obnoxious, unlikeable cliches that dress like a focus group’s idea of Suicide Girls doing harijuku cosplay. In other words, they don’t look or act like real people.
Everybody puts “fuck” into every sentence, sometimes multiple times. They curse more than Andrew Dice Clay stubbing his toe.
Film almost everything with shaky-cam, including establishing shots. YES EVEN ESTABLISHING SHOTS CAN’T BE STILL. Was this filmed on an iPhone on a selfie-stick? Did they put the camera in a paint shaker? Certainly feels like it.
Editing that will throw you from scene to scene like you’re being launched out of a trebuchet.
Filming outdoor night scenes with natural light. It’s a brave choice to make a movie nearby invisible by way of darkness, and this movie keeps doing it.
Redshirts that are introduced and killed off in the same scene, because you certainly aren’t gonna kill off any of the three leads, but you can’t have a horror movie without blood. So, here’s Boyfriend! … and he’s dead. Here’s Random People Living In The Woo— dead before I could finish the sentence.
“Jokes” that lack punchlines. Or set-ups. Or literally any component of a joke whatsoever.
Have an unearned last minute “it was me all along” twist with the villain. And follow that up by THE DECAPITATION OF SANTA CLAUS.
But most of all, have a campy, silly, crazy premise for a horror comedy that demands you go over the top, and … aim for the dead center. Don’t lean into the camp and go balls out silly like Tucker & Dale, don’t take it too seriously and come back around to being funny … no, just present a premise that seems silly, and play it straight within the silly premise, killing both moods in the process.
Mini Review: How did a movie only an hour and six minutes (and NINE MINUTES OF CREDITS) feel twice that? Let’s see … The three main characters are abrasive, obnoxious, unlikeable cliches that dress like a focus group’s idea of Suicide Girls doing harijuku cosplay. In other words, they don’t look or act like real people. Everybody puts “fuck” into every sentence, sometimes multiple times. They curse more than Andrew Dice Clay stubbing his toe. Film almost ever...