Surf II

I will review this movie by quoting other reviews and responding to them. From Mike McPadden: "It never slows down and it never lets up." Because it never starts, Mike. This movie begins dead and goes downhill from there. From the same review: "The jokes fly at tsunami speed and volume." Maybe don't compare a movie's comedy to ecological disasters that typically cost millions of dollars in damages, kill people, and ruin lives? Also, when I think of fast things, tsunamis aren’t one of them. Race cars, hummingbirds, military jets, those are fast. Do you measure height in cans of Spam? Also also, you know what tsunamis are famous for? Crashing onto land, which is exactly what all the jokes in this movie do: crash. From the book Destroy All Movies!: "the greatest mohawked-zombie-comedy ever made". Since it's also the only one of this genre the authors invented just for this review, that means it is also, by definition, the worst of its kind as well. From the same book: "pure fun in the form of a movie, born at a short-lived moment in history where culture was low and damaged enough to sustain a comedy of this magnitude." Ghostbusters was released the same year, so you can fuck right the hell off with this. From the same book: "No joke is too easy or bizarre." There are no jokes, period. In terms of humor, it is more barren than the surface of Venus is of water. From Inside Pulse: "If you’re planning to have an ’80s film festival this summer, you can safely play Surf II after Fast Times At Ridgemont High and The Wild Life." That would be like a horror movie marathon with Halloween, Psycho, and I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer. If I know anybody that ever considered showing this alongside Fast Times, I'd lock them in a port-a-potty from a ren-fair and push it down the stairs at Machu Picchu. From Rock! Shock! Pop!: "Surf II is every bit as dumb as it sounds but it's pretty much impossible not to have a good time" Hold my Coors brewery. From Horror Society: "I would love to have more of this zany story." Why would you put that kind of energy into the universe? Are you history's greatest monster? This world does not need you trying to will such negativity to life when we already have Twitter. You know what, let's close this out with a comment from the writer-director himself: "We set out to make the most brain-dead movie of all time. In that regard, I believe we succeeded." Finally, a review I can agree with.