The Da Vinci Code

I won’t say that it’s boring. It kept my attention. And, it easily surpasses the book, which, with its two page chapters and writing for a toddler, was punishment to get through. Hanks, Sir Ian McKellan and Audrey Tautou all do what they can with the material. But 2 1/2 hours of exposition, and as many false endings as Return Of The King, is just too much for this silly story. Its liberal blending of history and tinfoil hat theories is bloated and way too proud of itself to be taken seriously. The twists are signposted so heavily, they might be in neon. It’s all just ... a thing that happens. You watch it and go “okay”. There’s not much to say about it that others haven’t already said. I can’t put it in the one star range. That’s for BAD movies. This wasn’t ineptly made or poorly acted. It’s just an over-stuffed movie that isn’t as smart as it wants to be.