The Immortal Story

Well, he finally did it. Orson Welles directed something I didn't like. It's beautifully filmed, I'll say that. There's nothing quite like an Orson Welles-directed movie. You hear people talk about a director's signature style, and Welles had one for sure, and even if the movie has no other redeemed qualities, it has that. In this case, unfortunately, that is indeed all it has. The Immortal Story is about a rich, dying, old man. Through conversation with his ... accountant? ... personal assistant? ... companion? ... they talk about an old sea tale about a rich old man who finds a young sailor and pays him to do what he cannot: impregnate his young wife. The rich old man decides he wants to make that tale a reality, so he finds a sailor willing to make a buck, and hires out the daughter of his former business partner to play the parts. And that's it. There's some backstory between the woman and the rich old man (she accuses the old man of driving her dad into poverty and suicide), but it's all played very, very low-key. Everything, in fact, is low-key here, so low, it lacks any sense of energy at all. There is no twist to be had here. No philosophical musings or profound revelations. Old guy wants to make a tall tale true, he hires two people to do it, it happens. The end. That is literally the movie. It is as dry as hardpan desert, and as interesting as well. It's not bad so much as it is just devoid of anything entertaining or thought-provoking. Only the most devout Welles fetishists should bother, and even then, I can't imagine many will find anything worth while here.