This Film Is Not Yet Rated

Search around on the internet, and you'll find a hundred thousand lists of "the biggest villains in movie history". Darth Vader, Nurse Ratched, Freddy Krueger, Anton Chigurh; names we're all familiar with. Ask any filmmaker, however, the biggest heel in the movies, and they'll likely come back with the same answer: the MPAA, the board that assigned the ratings to movies. The board has long operated in secret, something this movie exposes is unique; no other ratings board in the country, and no other motion picture ratings board on the PLANET, keeps its membership secret, or refuses to publish its ratings criteria, or forbids comparison to other contemporary movies in its appeals process. Because of how they operate, they've been able to act as a shadowy cabal of censors, applying arbitrary rules based on personal taste and bias, to protect children (from movies they shouldn't be seeing in the first place), but proclaiming themselves to be freeing filmmakers from censorship. Some examples of their "freeing" actions: Regarding masturbation, Kevin Spacey can do it in shower in American Beauty, and Jason Biggs can use a pie in the process, with his bare ass hanging out, and those get an R. Natasha Lyonne does it OVER HER DRESS, no skin exposed, and But I'm A Cheerleader gets an NC-17. Jersey Girl got an NC-17 because Liv Tyler HAD A CONVERSATION ABOUT MASTURBATION. Maria Bello's pubic hair is briefly visible in The Cooler during an intimate scene between two people in love. That got an NC-17 rating. Sharon Stone's actual labia was visible in Basic Instinct, in a gratuitous shot in a police interrogation. That got an R. The difference? Bello was also simulating an orgasm. Team America got an NC-17 for "deviant sexual acts" ... THAT MOVIE STARS NOTHING BUT PUPPETS. And don't even mention male genitalia. Instant NC-17. Saving Private Ryan, a movie with incredibly graphic violence, is given an R. A documentary about the military in Iraq, showing the day-to-day life of soldiers, is given an NC-17. Why? They say "fuck" too much, and an African-American solider uses the N-word in a freestyle rap. The hypocrisy goes on and on and on, and this movie does a nice job exposing it. There is a clear, obvious bias on the part of the board against showing the sexual pleasure of women, homosexuality of anything beyond a kiss (and even that is questionable), or any sexual act beyond missionary/cowgirl positions. There is no consistency, no standards, beyond the arbitrary, moralistic, puritanical ones invented whole-cloth in the minds of the people who comprise the ratings board. This movie actually exposes those people, and how the MPAA's own hiring standards aren't even followed; people aren't supposed to be on the board longer than 7 years? Yeah, they have someone on there for 9 years and counting at the time of the movie. You must be a parent with kids between 5-17? How about board members with kids in college, or even in their 30's. OR EVEN CHILDLESS. And because they operate in secret, with cooperation from the studios, there's nobody to hold them accountable. It's a fascinating movie, full of interviews with filmmakers and actors, exposing the stupidity of the system. The MPAA will tell you your rating, and why, but not what specific scenes, and what needs to be cut to get it under an NC-17. That's if they can even be that specific; Mary Herron was given the note on American Psycho that they objected to the movie's "tone". If the movie does have flaws, the two that are the most striking are 1) it's aged. Going back and seeing it doesn't reveal much film geeks don't already know. We've known the MPAA is a bunch of pearl-clutching cretins for a long time. Hearing about the process, seeing reviewers and appeals board members doxxed, okay, that's new; but there is little that is truly revelatory. The other fault is the bigger one, and it's a bit frustrating. The movie really hammers home that the MPAA's biggest bugaboo is sex. And while they definitely have a grudge against sexuality, they imply violence gets off scot-free, and that just isn't true across the board. There's no better example than slasher movies. The later Friday The 13th movies in the 80's were notoriously hammered by the MPAA, to the point where the kills are almost subliminal. The 2000's suffered under a glut of PG-13 slashers that were bloodless, with kills done off-screen or hidden with cutaways. The exception to this rule seems to be GUN violence, no shock there. James Bond can rack up a body count higher than Jason Voorhees in a single movie, but because you don't see blood come out of the bullet wounds? PG-13. It's a weird imbalance, and I wish the movie addressed it more in depth, because it's one more way the MPAA shows its hypocrisy. Still, overall, this is an interesting documentary. Worth watching for film nerds. It's not for everybody, but it states its case well.